Has Anyone Ever Hired an Online Detective?

[romantico]

Just curious if anyone has ever hired an online detective before. Some family of mine is concerned with my sister. She keeps getting herself into debt and we can't figure out why. Money should not be an issue. We've caught her in some lies and are concerned. Some basic background checking is all we are looking into. Anyone have any advice?

[Incitatus]

1. I guess the obvious suspicion would be a drug problem.

There might be some free counseling services out there where you can seek their advice on how to best deal with this issue. What do you mean by background checking? If you just want to know about arrests, I think you can get records directly from the state yourself.

[romantico]

2. We

We don't think it's drugs. Long story but she should not have any financial troubles. She's a college graduate,a member of the church GAVE her a practically new car, my Dad paid off her student loan,she lives with a co-worker in their guest house where they charge her barely anything.My Dad even paid for her car insurance for the entire year. No car payments at all. She's asked both my Mom,Dad and grandparents for loans over the past 8 months,and we are not talking small loans.

Without getting to much into the back story, she had a much younger boyfriend a few years ago who she basically supported. She has low self esteem and we've seen instances where she has bought things for those she wants to be friends with that would make your jaw drop. On top of that, she lives very high. If she breaks her watch and needs a new one she won't go to Target or Kohls to get one, she will got to Tiffany's. Her TV a couple years ago gave out and she went out and bought a 50 inch Sony plasma TV. She has very expensive taste. We know about what she makes a week and like we have all said, she should not be in any sort of debt at all.

The final straw was over the holidays she asked a very close family friend for a loan and painted a very grim back story on her troubles. WOrd got out to a cousin of ours and not a word of what she told this family friend is true. We think she may have lied about past jobs and now she is telling people she is worried her wages are going to be garnished because of her student loan (which My Dad paid off three years ago so there is no student loan) This and other things are simply not true and she is careful who she tells these stories to. We know of one other family friend who has money and we think they are her next target.

Sorry to go on but as you can see this is an ongoing drama that's been going on for a few years now and we figure we need to end this ASAP.

[mackerel]

3. It's either drugs, sponger boyfriend or bi-polar.

You really shouldn't hire an online detective without a referral from someone else. You'd do better to find one in your area. Get references. The best solution though overall is to not loan her any more money.

[hibbing]

5. hmmm

Hey,
It seems to me you answer all the questions yourself in this explanation. Good luck with the situation.

Peace

On edit I had this placed in the wrong spot originally so I self-deleted.

[Lil Missy]

6. gambling?

[grasswire]

7. yes, gambling

that's my first thought

[valerief]

8. If this were a movie from the thirties, she'd be spending all her money on

trappings of the wealthy and would be mingling with them, so she could nab a wealthy mate/sugar daddy-mama.

If this were a movie from the forties, she'd be spending all her money on a sleazy blackmailer for an accidental murder she committed.

But it's probably drugs or gambling. After all, everyone bails her out, so it's no skin off her back to spend her money on her addiction.

[Chan790]

9. I'm going to be bluntly mean...

you don't need an online detective, you're aware of the financial problem and the cause therein is largely irrelevant.

You're much better off using the money to hire an attorney and fight for financial guardianship and power-of-attorney. A guardian gets the money from her paycheck, pays her bills, manages her finances, saving for retirement or other savings goals and putting her on an allowance. She demonstrably cannot manage her own finances; combined with the psychological issues you've identified and the unwillingness to live within her means--it's a short road to prove to a court that, absent fiscal-guardianship, she's a high risk of falling into indigence even at her high salary.

[romantico]

12. I

I would agree if she was spending money from say a trust fund or something. This is simply family and friends giving her money. No one is obligated and no court will see what she is doing as illegal. She is paying her bills and such and nothing has gone unpaid so there really is no crime or anything unlawful she is doing. As a matter of fact, those giving her money are not even complaining so I do not see how a attorney or court can look at this and do as you suggest legally. My parents were not bad off a few years ago and I am beginning to see signs that they are having money issues now and we think it is because of my sister. She is slowly draining them of their income.

[grasswire]

16. there are ways to protect your parents from having her drain their income.

That is called elder abuse, and financial institutions are alerted to what's happening. It IS possible to get a guardian to protect them. And that should be done before THEY are indigent.

[romantico]

10. Like

Like I said, no one really thinks it's drugs. I think we'd see signs plus, she is too cheap to waste it on something like that. I'd come closer to thinking possibly gambling,but I think its mostly just living outside her means and a very high lifestyle. I and other family member get frustrated with our parents who keep bailing her out. She is great for making them feel guilty and she is an excellent actress. What surprises me are stories that are so far fetched and has so many holes in them yet people fall for them. A couple years ago she called my Dad crying that her car was broken into. On the seat of her car were three past paychecks and they were stolen and now she does not know what she will do for bills.

Okay, first of everyone in the family knows she has had direct deposit for 10+ years,so no paper checks should be in her car. Sitting in plain view in the car? Oh puh-lease! Finally, THREE paychecks? If she were as poor as she brags she could not afford to let three paychecks pile up, she'd be living paycheck by paycheck. Horrible story a child would not get away with telling. Nonetheless, Mom and Dad bought it,even when I and my other sister pointed out the flaws in her story.

High lifestyle with the possibility she has met a new boyfriend. She is 37 but looks a lot younger and likes younger men. We've seen her more or less support an ex who was a grad student. She bought him clothes,electronics,etc. and the relationship lasted as long as the money kept coming in. This is my best guess.

I'd like to see if she is still working where she says she is working and her living history. I think she has lived with friends rent free when she has told us she was paying rent in the past year or so.I would think a credit report would show a student loan being paid off. My other sister wonders if it were possible that she took out another student loan and used that money for 'other things'. Not sure how much an internet detective can find out but I have pretty much all the information one would need to begin an investigation. Thanks again for the replies and concern everyone!

[NightWatcher]

11. I was an actual investigator, ran my own PI firm

What do you think an online detective is going to find for you?

You can have someone search her computer to see where she goes online and what she does, as well as if there are files on her computer that support what you think.

It sounds later down the thread that you know what her problems are and only want proof. If you want physical proof you are going to need to hire an actual person to follow her, take pictures, report back to you.....

Odds are you already know whats wrong but you want some online detective to confirm it for you.

[romantico]

13. What

what we want is a record of her employment history and a credit report if possible (A record showing where she has lived over the course of a few years would also be nice) We do not know anything. We are speculating. She will lie about one thing and then be totally honest about another.My sister thinks things may be worse than what we are speculating and wants that peace of mind. Proof is always good. It takes guessing out of the equation. I see all these public records searches where they ask for your credit card but am very nervous and skeptical of those sites.

[NightWatcher]

14. those searches that want your credit card will only look through public records

It sounds like you want her credit report. It is illegal for anyone to get a credit report for someone without their knowledge/consent.

What are you going to do with the information that you want, are you going to confront her? If she is on the edge, a confrontation will just push her away. 99 times out of 100, if you think there's a problem, there's a problem. If she's asking for help you should get her to get you a copy of her credit report before you will assist her. If she really wants help, get her to provide what you want to know.

As far as the 'being too cheap/smart/whatever for drugs', you obviously haven't met enough users.

[hunter]

15. The lounge is not a good place to post this.

I'll be blunt.

It sounds to me like hiring a family counselor would be more appropriate than a hiring a detective.

[romantico]

18. Well

Well, I initially did not plan on going into as much detail but after a few posts I felt the more details would better help those steer me in the right direction. Thanks for the replies and the PM's.