I need to vent

[Bombero1956]

The car companies and the jewelry stores need to stop their ridiculous commercials offering themselves up as viable gift ideas. Were I to give you an Audi or a Lexus this year anything I gave you from now on would be a tremendous letdown. Next year when you get that new toaster or the electric banana slicer you're going to be pissed off and I don't need that kind of pressure. Also there is no such thing as a chocolate diamond, you guys made that shit up to sell lower grade diamonds with occlusions and Jared is an asshole for trying to sell substandard diamonds at his "galleria". Now where's my bottle of bourbon, I feel an episode coming on.

[LoveMyCali]

1. In my experiences

Bourbon caused more episodes than cured them but your post made me laugh.

I couldn't agree more about the car and jewelry commercials. I'm I completely ungrateful if there is a white Lexus with a red bow in my driveway and I think "I'm not a big fan of white cars, I wish it were black."

[Aerows]

2. Here's a pair of warm socks

I just need to know what is a good price to pay for them. Oh, and kids? Here's a 3000 piece puzzle to keep you occupied. I'm an awful practical Santa.

[mnhtnbb]

3. Frankly, I'd rather see diamond/car commercials than

all the Cialis/Viagra commercials with

"readiness may be a question of blood flow".

And that dumb blonde fronting for Americans for Prosperity? Telling us how awful
ACA is? I'm sorry, but there is a word for selling yourself...and I'm referring
to her signing on as the talent in the commercial.

[Blue_In_AK]

4. We have an an AFP ad running here against Mark Begich.

The actress says stuff like "I TRUSTED Mark and yet he voted for Obamacare," or something like that, looking all worried and concerned, but it turns out she's an actress from Maryland. Busted! Now Mark has a rebuttal ad running where the woman points out that she's a real Alaskan and she supports Mark and then little clips of him with locals we all know and love, Shannyn Moore, etc. it's pretty effective in making AFP look stupid.

[Blanks]

6. We have a lot of Tom Cotton commercials (against pryor).

We were discussing the latest 'veteran' commercial (the little woman and I), and she was curious as to why a Harvard educated attorney would join the infantry.

Curiouser and curiouser.

[IrishAyes]

5. You've heard the story about the pastor giving the kids' sermon?

When he asked what the kids knew about resurrection, one little boy shouted that you should call the doctor if you have a resurrection lasting over 4 hours.

I no longer remember where I heard that, or whether it was a true story or a joke. Doesn't matter - I'm still cackling.

That said, I could do w/o all the intimate care commercials. All of them.

[LiberalEsto]

7. My solution is to avoid watching tv

You'd be amazed at how much needless aggravation it's possible to ignore.

[rug]

8. An electric banana slicer! Where can I get one?

[LiberalEsto]

9. You won't need an electric one if you get a Hutzler

Hutzler Banana Slicer



Most Helpful Customer Reviews

50,137 of 50,728 people found the following review helpful

No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!
By SW3K on March 3, 2011
Color Name: Yellow
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.

Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.


http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII

[rug]

11. Lol, a glowing endorsement!

[LiberalEsto]

12. There are LOTS more hilarious reviews at the link nt

[Skittles]

13. hey where can I get an electric banana slicer?

it would have to strip off those gross strings too though

[Marie Marie]

14. Easiest way to get rid of those gross strings?

Peel a banana the way the chimps do - from the bottom up. Supposedly removes all the strings. I heard that once but I keep forgetting to try it. Old habits die hard....