Today started poorly at work with a heated discussion about striking children...
Got into a heated discussion this morning, first thing, at work about using physical methods of discipline. I was completely outnumbered and now I'm really upset that this many people think that hitting a child for any reason is ok. To me, there is ZERO reason, ever, to strike a child. I don't care if it is a spanking, a whipping, or a slap on the hand to say no. There are more positive ways to discipline and they don't carry the inherent risk of psychological damage or potential for aggression in the child later in life. The fact that people kept trying to convince me otherwise with anecdotal evidence of "Well I/my kids turned out fine." really pisses me off. The hard, scientific, validated, verifiable evidence is clear...striking a child does more harm than good. PERIOD.
Just starts the day off on a miserable tone and makes me antsy for the rest of the day. I like the fact that my boss feels comfortable enough to debate with me and I with him, but this one put me a little over the edge. It should have been clear from the first couple moments of the conversation that this was a particularly touchy topic for me and to let it die, but he kept pushing his arguments. My particular favorite was his use of the biblical argument (knowing that I am agnostic) of "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Within a few sentences he then gave the question of what would I do when my child hits me. My response of "Turn the other cheek and hug them tight." That was the only one that seemed to make him pause for a moment...
I think a lot of my personal views have been strengthened as my wife and I have begun the adoptive process. We are just waiting for a child (or hopefully sibling children) to be matched with us. But in the meantime we read the profiles of why some of these children are in the adoptive system and it is so disheartening. There are kids who have been burned, beaten, molested, etc. - they don't need a parent that will spank them for spilling a glass of milk. That will only scar them further. They need love and respect. They need to know that no matter what mistakes are made, mom and dad will hold them close and love them. They need to know that no matter what actions are levied against you, violence is not the answer. There is already too much of that in the world.
= new reply since forum marked as read
It probably won't go any better here at DU, to be honest.
OK, so my 2 cents...
I was hit/spanked as a child.
I thought that was how people brought their kids up, and I did the same when I had kids.
I wish I hadn't. If there's anything in this world I wish I could go back and change, it's that. There are far better ways to deal with kids than hitting them, even if it's only a slap on the butt.
So now when I argue with people over it, I ask them if they ever hit another adult for doing something wrong. Even if it's just a slap on the hand.
If they don't, why not?
Usually, after that, it's just the sound of crickets.
Must suck to have to admit that they wouldn't think of slapping another adult for something they'd slap a kid for because:
1. They might get hit back by someone who could HURT them.
2. Their ass would be hauled into court for battery.
Yay!! Let's save the hits and slaps for people who can't fight back!!!
I guess my attitude on the subject had been changing little by little over the years anyway, but the most influential moment was when my youngest sister's daughter went through this period of extreme behavior.
Screaming fits and biting.
One day she (my niece, who was maybe 3 at the time) bit my mom, who was babysitting her.
My mom bit her back.
I thought it was wrong to do that anyway, but it wasn't until a year or two later, after neurological tests, etc., that doctors found something wrong with the "wiring" in my niece's brain.
She was put on medication and that solved the problem.
It wasn't even her fault, and all the biting back (or slaps, even) in the world would not have stopped the behavior.
I've never spoken with my mom about this, but I sometimes wonder if she ever feels badly in any way.
I would. 
Honestly. Thank you. Now if we can just get the DSS adoption people to see that all would be sunshine and roses!!! 
No good can come of this.
