The best article on how to make a sandwich you'll ever read

[WilliamPitt]

How To Make A Reuben Sandwich And Embrace Entropy
By Albert Bruneko
Deadspin

It's good to live a tidy, orderly life. Clean shirt, clean face, sensibly organized underwear drawer (I subcategorize alphabetically by superhero!), and so on. People like tidiness; they trust it. It makes things easier. Food, too, can be tidy: the neat, clean geometry of sushi; the artful towers of nouvelle cuisine; the perfect 180-degree turn you execute when you see Guy's American Kitchen and Bar in front of you. Tidy. Neat. Clean.

The problem with the tidy, orderly life, as anyone can see, is that it doesn't leave much room for a Reuben sandwich—which, factually, is as neat and clean as the average tropical storm. All that wet sauerkraut and gloopy Russian dressing; the melty, runny cheese and the greasy meat: The Reuben is the freight-train-derailing-into-a-fireworks-factory of sandwiches. The enemy of the kempt. The scourge of the tidy. The bane of the shirtfront.

This is particularly true if, as any right-thinking morally upstanding individual inarguably must, you insist upon eating a Reuben with your hands because you are not a goddamn fascist. Just you try and get that fucker to your face without some rogue cheese-strand or a wayward dab of Russian dressing or a kamikaze beef-slice leaping free to apply itself to your breast pocket, or to the crotch of your pants, or, somehow, to creep behind you, where it will write SLOB across the back of your shirt in permanent grease stains.

And that is a problem, because the other scientific fact about the Reuben, in addition to its thermonuclear capacity for mess-making, is that it is the best goddamn sandwich in the world. As we shall see. Let's make one.

The rest: http://deadspin.com/how-to-make-a-reuben-and-embrace-entropy-1358692281

Memo to the sensitive: this is Deadspin, a website whose content is written by assholes for assholes about assholes. It pokes fun at everything, which means somewhere in there, it will poke fun at you in some way if you look around long enough. Don't let that ruin an incredible read.

[Sanity Claws]

1. But I'll never want to read a sandwich

I only eat them.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Now look here, my dear Will!

I just had lunch. It was very good..............so why does this description of how to make a Reuben sandwich make me HUNGRY???


Wow.

Most excellent.

[In_The_Wind]

3. Yum.

[NRaleighLiberal]

4. I always order these...but with these major changes!

No thousand island. No kraut.

Just the meat, and the cheese, with the bread nicely grilled.

I love entropy like the next person - but not, sadly, on my grilled corned beef and swiss!

(prefer my entropy via a Red Robin burger with the grilled pineapple an teriyaki marinade!)

[bluesbassman]

5. Gawd, I need a Reuben now. Buttface.

[KamaAina]

6. In a similar vein, how NOT to make a burrito.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018483755

[nomorenomore08]

7. I'm still cringing over the "cilantro cavern"...