Work issue

[alarimer]

I don't even know how to explain this because it is a bit complicated. First, I supervise three people, one of whom is in a relationship with another biologist in the office. He is not her supervisor and as far as I know, everything they have done has been above-board. Even so, the PERCEPTION is that she is getting special treatment. Why her supervisor (me) would give her special treatment because of her relationship with another person is beyond me. But there is friction because of it. It's probably inevitable and a bit unfair, I think. Of course all the technicians in this office seem to like to complain more than they like to work, but that's another matter. They complain about whoever is not in the room and I hear all of it because I am in the room next door. But the situation is uncomfortable for all of us.

But that's not my issue here.

I went to a meeting yesterday with my colleague, M, (the one in the relationship with my technician, S). S asked me in the morning if she could go. I didn't think much of it, even though it wasn't really a meeting I thought she would be interested in, I said she could. Mistake number 1. Because if ANY technician finds out that another got to do something THEY didn't get to do (even though it was not something they even cared about), they complain. And so, when I came back, there was an email in my inbox from my other tech, C, who was under the impression that S. got to go because her boyfriend M suggested it. So we all met with my supervisor and it turned out that most of C's complaints were unfounded. None of her complaints about S. had anything to do with special treatment due to S's relationship with M. None. So hopefully we've ironed that out.

I am upset with myself that I leapt to the same conclusion that C. did and unfairly maligned my colleague M. It turns out that S. simply overheard a conversation I'd had with M (that I totally forgotten about- I can't remember anything to save my life) and got the idea from that about going to the meeting.

Are people always this difficult? Does anyone EVER grow up beyond this sort of petty bullshit? It's like junior high, only I'm the teacher.

[No Vested Interest]

1. Be careful of S in the future

She may be looking for instances where she can be in the same places with M during the workday.
You don't know need the aggravation that comes from the pettiness.
Also, M might prefer less fraternization during the weekday.

[2theleft]

2. In my expierence, the work world is very much like highschool...

And sometimes like pre-school. I manage an organization of about 25 people within a huge org of several hundred people. (corporate america at it's finest...)...

The jealousy, the perceived slights, the backstabbing...it's unbelievable. I don't understand why we can't all just get along, do our work, help out our team members without unnecessary drama.

Sounds like you handled the situation fine...

Take a lot of deep breaths, smile, and insist everyone stay focused on what they are there for. And if that doesn't work, come home and drink heavily

[alarimer]

12. And the gossip.

It's unbelievable. I don't think this place is worse than any other, but they all talk about each other all the time.

And I know they talk about their supervisors. I can hear them. It never seems to occur to them that I am in the next room.

Fortunately, unless it's something egregious, I don't say anything.

[Generic Brad]

3. Sounds like your complainers do not have enough to do

Shouldn't they be concerned with their own performance instead of someone else's personal life? I would let them know that you are not at liberty to discuss personal information about employees, but still thank them for their concern and assure them it has been addressed. If they press, invite them to document their complaints in writing and pass it along to your boss and HR. Obsessive and unsubstantiated complaints will give you ammunition to reprimand them with if they insist on taking it to the next level.

You can get this to stop without getting angry or frustrated with them. They are grown ups and they will either learn to act like it or face the ramifications.

[olddots]

4. you lost me with S&M

C & S ....... whats that all about ?

[mockmonkey]

6. I think...

you're supposed to drop one and grab the other.

[MiddleFingerMom]

9. !!!

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[lastlib]

10. I'm wondering where B & D come in here.......

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(sorry alarimer--no disrespect intended, just got hit w/ (what I thought was) a humorous thought....) me. BAD lastlib! no cookies!

[alarimer]

13. LOL

I would certainly hope none of that is going on in my workplace.

[elleng]

5. Yes, unfortunately, people are always that difficult;

something about human nature.
Sorry.

[Major Nikon]

7. I'm a 2nd level manager for a large company

It's in people's nature to complain and it's going to happen no matter what you do. The only time I really get involved with such things is when they start interfering with productivity or if someone files some sort of formal complaint. When I was a 1st line supervisor I used to have a lot of unit meetings and I would encourage people to air their complaints there to get everything out in the open. Most of the time people just want to have their concerns heard and validated by someone and don't necessarily want any action taken so don't try to be a problem solver in that regard unless you have to be. If it's just one person spreading discontent, I would take them aside and let them air their complaint in my office so long as I initiated the meeting. Open door policies are fine, but you don't really want someone coming into your office and whining every day, and some people will.

[alarimer]

14. Ideally, people should solve these types of problems themselves.

So it requires a little coaching on my part.

[pipi_k]

8. So much like

Junior High...

I think just about anyone who's ever had to work with other people would say the same thing. Even more if they have been in a managerial position.

This is one main reason why I never did well working with others. I like to get along, but never was very good at the drama and politics of junior high school, and that same inability carried over into the business world.

Can't play the games.

[TrogL]

11. I've taught junior high. Office politics is worse.