I'll share a life lesson with you. Be Fucking Amazing, even to yourself.

[Denninmi]

Last edited Sun Jul 21, 2013, 06:07 AM - Edit history (1)

In the summer of 2012, I despaired that my life was meaningless, I was worthless, and I faced a bleak and short future. I spent most of my time crying and having panic attacks. It was not pleasant. I was an emotional wreck, an overweight, out of shape disaster physically, basically a train wreck looking for a place to happen. One thing very relevant to you understanding of today's events - i was 60 lbs heavier than today and so out of shape walking a mile was impossible.

And, things definitely happened, bad things, and I went through what I now refer privately to as my own personal 9/11. It could have taken me down, had I let it. And I was close to letting it, but a part of me said "Oh, Hell No" and, in a moment of clarity, i knew i had to fight back, that I was a better man than all of that, and I did fight back, hard, i ran away from that bleak possible future as if Satan himself were hot on my trail.

Fast forward to the summer of 2013. We had severe storms here last night, which broke our heat wave. After the rains, it cooled off and became breezy and pleasant. I set my alarm clock for 3:45 am, got up, got dressed in my favorite, most comfortable Pearl Izumi cycling shorts and jersey, put on my favorite Salomon cycling shoes, and grabbed some gear I had set out the night before. And hit the quiet, dark (a LOT of power outages here) streets on my beloved hybrid Specialized, the new album Magnetic by The Goo Goo Dolls coming from the bluetooth speaker. I left my driveway at 4:15 am. I chose that because I really relate to the lyrics of the song 'Keep The Car Running':

Don't tell me it's over now
This ain't the time to rest
Bruised and battered
Torn and tattered
Look at me
It doesn't matter
Still got some fight left

At 6:06 am, I was exactly 30 miles from home in the western Wayne County suburb of Livonia, riding down deserted streets that later would be full of cars, humming along to the music, enjoying the breaking dawn with low, scudding clouds in the sky, sipping orange juice from a sports bottle and generally just loving the whole thing. Just me and the bike and the music. About 10 minutes later, had my breakfast of hard boiled eggs and plain Greek yogurt on a pedestrian overpass right over the median of I275, watching the traffic fly by 30 feet below. Took the I275 Trail back up into my county, saw wild flowers galore, rabbits and hawks and a fawn half-grown, had a big snack of my fill of wild blackberries growing along the trail, stopped at a couple of gas stations to buy and slam down 1 liters of Dasani.

I got home around 9 am. 60 miles and a morning of exercise, fresh air, and pure enjoyment behind me. And, it was Fucking Amazing. I was Fucking Amazing! I loved every single minute of it.

Because, the me of 2013 is so different from the man I was in 2012 that I don't even recognize who he was. And, every single change has been a change for the better.

Do something every day to amaze yourself. Embrace life for what it is, a gift. Be good to yourself. Figure out what you want, and go for it. And never, ever listen to anyone who tells you that you are less than amazing. We all have the potential within to be as bad or good, as sad or happy, as we choose.

I think Pink says it well in this song (video is not really safe for work):

Namaste.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. That was GREAT, my dear Denninmi!

Thank you.

I am proud of you! You have wrested success from failure, and are so much stronger and better for it!

I'm doing that too, although not as aggressively. Besides, I hate mornings!

[grantcart]

2. Namaste and congratulations

[Tobin S.]

3. Sounds awesome, Dennis

I'm in the process of doing for my intellect what you did for your muscles.

I feel like qualifying this sentence from your post, though, "We all have the potential within to be as bad or good, as sad or happy, as we choose." My qualification would be, "Sometimes we may need more a little more help than our will can provide." Or something to that effect. But, yeah, a good deal of health, both physical and mental, is attitude.

[Denninmi]

4. Oh, so very true.

I had a great deal of help getting here, you being among those who did a lot for me. Part of strength is knowing when you are at the limit and need some assistance in carrying the load.

[elleng]

5. Thanks and CONGRATS, Den!

Kind of why I've decided to take cottage by the river, be closer to daughter, maybe rescue some of my old habits/skills (like cooking for family,) and maybe do some photos. Time to stretch, get out of myself, and back to family. (Retirement, not entirely voluntary, took me out of what had become a challenging and enjoyable part of my life, and as that happened, family situation deteriorated, so getting something of myself back, renewed, and reinvented feels like a good idea.)

[Bertha Venation]

6. thank you, Denninmi

You paint a great picture of a lovely morning fully enjoyed by a free man. And you delivered a message I need to study.

[mythology]

7. I'd say keep up the good work

but I don't think that's necessary.

The road to self improvement is long and hard, but it beats the hell out of despair.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

8. good reminder. we have the ultimate power to change our destinies immensely

and it often starts with attitude. how we choose to see the world even when bad things happen.