Hey married womenfolk, I'm getting married in a month...

[libnnc]

And I have NO idea what to look for in a wedding band. My partner and I are getting hitched and neither of us has ever thought about stuff like this. I don't know what I want, where to get it, how much to spend etc.

What say y'all brides out there? HELP a couple of lesbians out here!

[noamnety]

1. Higher quality gold is softer

my ex got me a ring that had a high percentage of gold and it got incredibly scuffed up, it looked like I wore it while shoving my hand down the sink disposal.

My current husband got me one with a diamond, but it sticks up and gets in the way all the time, so I don't normally wear it.

My suggestion, having been through a few rings, heh, is get something that's comfortable, above all else. Lightweight, rounded edges, not too expensive in case you have weight gain or loss and want to swap it with something that fits better. The ring I wear most now is one I got for myself to wear in place of the real one. I got it at big lots for about $3.

[fizzgig]

2. i got my husband's wedding ring for 13 bucks at a head shop

he works with his hands and we didn't want to spend money on something that would likely be damaged or lost.

congratulations and good luck with the search

[angstlessk]

3. Right now the price of gold is going down, down, down

so besides what the other poster said about it being easily dinged..you might pay 500 today for a ring worth 250 next year...try platinum or sterling silver..and like the other poster said her diamond ring got caught...I too had a birth stone ring, and sometimes it got caught and it felt like my finger was being ripped off my hand...a band is the best...

GOOD LUCK! And happy wedding for you both!

[a la izquierda]

4. I got titanium.

I love it, but it is not re-sizable.

[angstlessk]

5. Isn't that radioactive?

[mrmpa]

6. I read the posting wrong...........

I thought you meant a musical group, for the reception. It's late here on the east coast. lol

I'm wearing the wedding ring my mother got in 1952 from my dad. It's art carved white gold. I recently took it for an appraisal and the jeweler said that he couldn't begin to appraise it, because he would probably low-ball it. He was a reputable jeweler, but he suggested taking it to New York.

Interesting story as to how mom got this ring. My parents married while dad was stationed at Parris Island with the Marine Corps and were married on base. Dad told mom to go to town, pick a ring and they would go together on payday and pick it up. Mom fell in love with this ring and was told it was $25. She asked them to hold it till payday.

On payday mom & dad go to town to retrieve the ring, the owner of the store, tells dad that the wrong price was quoted to mom, that it was actually $50. Mom showed disappointment, so the owner said, Sergeant, my clerk was wrong but you shouldn't be penalized, it's yours for $25.

There is not a mark on this ring at all. On their 30th anniversary dad gave mom a new gold band, that ring is very worn and marked. Dad died in 2000, but mom is still going strong at 83, and the ring is going strong at 61 years of age.

on edit: Congratulations & may your love last 61 years.

[noamnety]

8. Oh! Maybe it is the other kind of wedding band!

I didn't think that it might be music. What if I accidentally derailed the whole thread, and they wake up to a big talk about rings that they have no interest in?!

[R B Garr]

7. Congratulations to you both! What an exciting time for you.

I noticed you didn't mention anything about stones, so it's just the bands you want. If you still want the sentiment or formality of a set stone engagement type ring alongside the wedding band, you might want to consider two bands for each of you -- one being a smaller, everyday type of band that can be worn in all kinds of household/gardening activities without a fear of harming or losing it, while the other can be a more formal look and slipped on next to the everyday band when you're going out to business or other daily activities where it won't get so exposed to wear and tear.

Newlyweds usually don't like to take their rings off for quite some time, so having the smaller, everyday band that you also wore in your ceremony is a nice option.

About cost, you'll probably know within the first couple of rings you look at where you want to go with that. Anywhere from $50 to $150 for somewhat ordinary bands...? Getting them engraved with initials and dates isn't that much more, so you might want to look into that, too.

Enjoy!

[politicat]

9. Congratulations!

Mine is an antique, a late Victorian oval cabochon garnet set in rose gold. It was possibly an engagement ring (it is inscribed & dated to August, 1889). My partner's was a 1920s white gold band which ended up being too big. It did not resize well, so we replaced it with a really geeky d6 ring. (The ring serves as a 6 sided die.)

I like the cabochon stone because it is smooth and doesn't have prongs or edges that catch. I'm not great with jewelry -- I fail to take it off when I paint, for example -- and this is the only serious piece I've bought, but almost 13 years later, it's still sound. If I had a prong or channel set stone, it would probably be ruined by now.

We don't do diamonds or any stones, really -- too much potential for supporting slavery. That's why we went antique -- no new blood spilled. I think we spent around $400 for our pair, significantly less than if we had bought new. We did get lucky that we found rings we liked.

[hedgehog]

16. Go for platinum for prongs - I lost two stones before I found this out

(fortunately - not diamonds! )

Also - if you go for two bands - engagement and wedding band - have them discretely tacked together or they will wear against each other.

[yankeepants]

10. Ask for "comfort fit"

The edges are smooth and rounded. Great for everyday wear. Ours are gold bands with tiny beading on the edges.

Congratulations and All best.

[winter is coming]

14. +1. n/t

[pipi_k]

11. What the

Mr and I did...

we went to a jeweler and asked to see a catalog of bands.

We each picked out three we liked, to see if, and where, our tastes overlapped. The one we both liked was the band we chose. No fighting... That's pretty much how we choose anything major, really.

Anyway, we both like white gold. The band we chose had diamond shaped facets cut into the center all around, with a narrow groove and tiny beading on each end along the edges. Simple enough, but it did give a bit of "sparkle" in the proper light. I think they were $400 each, 18 years ago.

Some friends of ours got bands with turquoise stones, and some other (lesbian) friends of mine got silver/white gold dolphins, who mate for life.

The choices are endless!

Which is probably the problem...

[libnnc]

12. Thanks everyone for the responses!

We're leaning towards 10 or 14K yellow or two-tone gold wide bands. Something traditional. Gonna go to the big box jewelers to see what they have. This is all happening so fast, we're in a bit of a panic!

After 21 years together, gettin' hitched! Holy cats!

[LNM]

18. I had a wide band (custom made) and I couldn't wear it.

When I washed my hands, water would stay under the band and my skin split and cracked. After a year we bought a $30 gold band from Penney's and I've been happy with it for over 30 years.

Congrats on the wedding!

[pipi_k]

22. Last week at this time

I was recovering from having my engagement and wedding rings cut off.

They hadn't been off in the 18 years we've been married, and I gained weight, and just never thought about it, and when I did I knew it would hurt.

But a few days before the removal, one of the prongs on my diamond got smashed down flat, then got caught on something so it was raised up and very pointy. Needed a new setting, needed to be cut off, so why not have the band cut off too.

Holy cow. It took at least 15 to 20 minutes and I had sweat pouring off me, and the poor jeweler (a family friend) was highly distressed at causing me pain, but it was the only way.

I measured both rings after they were off. My band was a size 7. I measured my finger...it's a size 9, and still not even fully puffed out from the trauma of being squeezed all those years.

It will probably expand another half a size before it's done and I can be resized for an enlargement.

Anyway, before that, there was room for soap and stuff to gather, where it would irritate my finger like your ring did to your finger, no matter how well I rinsed.

[tavernier]

13. Congratulations!

Don't sweat it. Jewelry does not a marriage make.

[hedgehog]

15. Depending on how you use your hands -

you may want to avoid an elaborate design that might catch on things, get scratched or cause scratches.

[cliffordu]

17. Gum ball machine.

Or one of them thingies that has a claw you manipulate with the little stick.

Seriously, though, congratulations on your nuptials and all the best to you and your future wife.

I'd go with white gold - it is indestructible - pretty much ..... Mine lasted for 30 years and I still have it.

[Earth_First]

19. Congratulations!

My fiancée and I are tying the knot on August 3rd.

As for wedding bands, lol; we are in the same boat!



Good luck!

[riderinthestorm]

20. We went with plain gold bands but took a LOT of thought into the engraving

on the inside.... We both work outside every day and needed something that didn't stick out like a gemstone and was smooth and comfortable.

The message we put on the "inside" was more important to us than what was on the "outside" (yup, the analogy was purposeful).

Congratulations!!

[Neoma]

21. Rose gold.

[antiquie]

23. Felicitations!

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