How the Internet Started (according to the Bible)
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take
unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to
town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel
load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send
messages saying what you have for sale, and they will
reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and
delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he
had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot
devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum
Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures
- Hebrew to the People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to
camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or
NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound
of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising
drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.
Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates'
drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.
He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious
Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate
things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all began and that's the truth.
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