Questions about how people react upon someone's death.

[Bertha Venation]

Why do folks say they're praying for the dead? The dead are dead. They don't need prayers. They're beyond help.

Dammit, I have a lot of questions but that's the only one I can think of right now! My brain is swiss cheese. I'm sure I'll remember more questions later and I'll post them.

[HarveyDarkey]

1. Never did understand the "logic" of prayer

[MiddleFingerMom]

2. Some religions believe in purgatory concepts -- where you weren't bad enough to go to hell...

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.
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... but not good enough to go straight to heaven. It's not the screaming hellfire type of
punishment, but it is unpleasant. Some of these religions believe that prayers for a person
who lands there are like extra bonus points and will shorten their stay.
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Otherwise, you're right -- I can't think of a single reason to pray for the dead either.
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.

[hedgehog]

10. I have a slightly different understanding of purgatory - less a place of punishment and

more a place where people who need to work on themselves or to resolve issues prepare themselves to move forward.

I don't understand prayer, but I pray.

[olddots]

3. death is a mystery , people are uncomfortable with mystery

they " pray " .

[Neoma]

4. Because it's much easier to handle grief if you believe that person is somewhere else.

To continue in that context, I think the prayers are really just wishes that they are in a better place than where you are. As in hoping that they're not as miserable as you are at that moment. Edit: or because you know they're not suffering from pain anymore.

[elleng]

5. Don't know,

can't explain or understand prayer generally, but my husband just passed, coffin was open (not my wish,) and many visitors kneeled and prayed at the coffin. I avoided that room while coffin open.

[Bertha Venation]

6. oh, god, elleng, I am so sorry

So very sorry to hear of this. I wish you comfort.

And I'm sorry you had to deal with the open coffin.

[elleng]

8. Thanks, Bertha.

I'm OK, daughters not so much.

He and I had been estranged, separated since 2006, recently on better terms helping daughter, and me helping him with health matters. For that, I am grateful.

I found him deceased in his apartment, didn't step over the threshold, and am trying to remember him the last time I saw him alive (as I did with my parents. Daughters etc did look at them before services, during which coffins were closed.) We watched Kentucky Derby together, so a good late memory.

[fizzgig]

7. i am so sorry, ellen

[elleng]

9. Thanks, fizz.

[dr.strangelove]

11. Lots of reasons

The biggest is obviously personal comfort. When someone dies, if there is still some way that you can hlep that person, it is indeed appealing to many. So the idea that by praying for their soul or however you define that which is left after body death, can give great comforst to one who believes the person still exists and that their comfort can be impacted. I think also people pray for the living, so that the deity they subscribe to will bring something to that living person, be it peace or something material.

There are a lot of faiths, and within any faith lots of beliefs on what happens. Get a group of 10 Roman Catholics together and you might get 10 different reasons why each prays for a deceased person. I think at the end of the day it is to cope with the grief of losing someone you cared for, but however they color it, it is what it is.