Please help me select a new avatar. The winner will receive a Major Award.
All submissions will be given due consideration and participants will receive a lovely Parting Gift. 
= new reply since forum marked as read
This was the first one I thought of. I don't know why.
It is dead quiet, and I just snorted out loud.
Thanks ever so much.
Just bring my gift over. They still have issues at the post office.
Kind of conveys your smart-ass attitude.
Then there'd be two of us/me
or this
Ginger or Mary Ann?
Huntley or Brinkley?
Shindig or Hullabaloo?
Dum!
Fiddle Faddle or Screaming Yellow Zonkers?
Stevie Ray or Steve Vai?
Audrey or Katharine?
Williams or Ruth?
Ali or Marciano?
Betty Crocker or Aunt Jemima?
Lone Ranger or Zorro?
Tarantino or Peckenpah?
Jack!
Howdy Doody Show or Mickey Mouse Club?
Skitch or Doc?
Broadway or Sunset Strip?
Spicoli or Floyd?
Acapulco Gold or B.C. bud?
Sam Phillips or Phil Spector?
Peter Noone or Howard Hughes?
Vermont Maid or Log Cabin?
Chester or Festus?
Maidenform or Playtex?
Liners!
Olives or onions?
Okay!
Peking or L' Orange?
Freddie Blassie or Gorgeous George?
Denzel or Billy Dee?
Highland or Lowland?
Brie or Camembert?
Bird's Eye or Swanson?
Braces or belt?
T-Bird or Corvette?
Davey Crockett or Daniel Boone?
Peter and Gordon or Chad an Jeremy?
Rob Roy or Brave Heart?
Spurs or crop?
Hat!
Glinda or Elphaba?
Wavey Gravey or Abbie Hoffman?
Keds or PF Fliers?
Panty hose or bucket seats?
Marlowe or Hammer?
Black Beauty or National Velvet?
Pork pie or stingy brim?
Mother of pearl or ivory?
Nine and one half weeks or body heat?
Soccer or Rugby?
Lou Reed or iggy pop?
Hawthorne or Poe?
James T. Kirk or Peter Q. Taggert?
Harvard or Yale?
Sunrise or sunset!
Vodka or Gin?
Straight or Draw?
Civiche or Tartare
Roller or ice?
Wing tip or cap toe!
Clarice or Hannibal!
Universal or Disney?
Sarong or moo moo?
Ointment or salve!
Two Lane Blacktop or Vanishing Point?
Tennessee whiskey or Kentucky bourbon?
Scalloped or au gratin?
Two in the bush,....or one in the hand?
Shooters or on the half shell?
Four square or tether ball?
Tommy or Dickie?
Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
Jules Vern or H.G. Wells?
Tattoo or piercing?
Benedict or Florentine?
Album or LP?
Blue or Bleu?Up a tree or down a hole?
Head cheese or pigs feet?
Roy Batty or Rick Deckard?
First Communion or Last Rites?
Hiawatha or Hawkeye?
Immaculate Reception or Hail Mary?
Two left feet or all thumbs?
Henry Drummond or Atticus Finch?
Deja vu or flashback?
Race the moon or follow the sun?
Boston baggies or banana hammock?
Crest or Colgate?
Headphones or earphones?
Three on the tree or four on the floor?
Elmer Gantry or Jonas Nightengale?
Fred Sanford or Archie Bunker?
Maude Frickert or Aunt Blabby?
Six pack or sweet cheeks!
Paisley or plaid?
Pitbull or poodle?
Lean and mean or fat and sassy?
Tack or Jib?
Miles Bennell or Mathew Bennell?
Miles or Mathew?
Miles
Mathew
Monkey Shines or Monkey Business?
Andromeda Strain or Captain Trips?
Sky dive or Scuba dive?
Low and out or High and in?
Pancakes or Waffles?
White clam or Bolognese?
Foot rub or Head massage?
Kildare or Casey?
Wurlitzer or Rock-Ola?
...world's ugliest watch:
or the ribald wit of W C Fields
or keep the literary theme and go with Walt Whitman
Of course, you could just use a pic of yourself... 2 outta 3 ain't bad!
Do you want to say "I'm a Buddhist" ?
Or do you want to say "I'm a space-science kinda guy"?
Perhaps you want to make a fashion statement
Or you might want to share your love of bacon with the world
Maybe you want to attract economists to your posts
Or perhaps you just want to explain what you're looking for in a relationship
It is everything.
Here are some more female and femaleish
Can there be any other avatar?
...huh, huh... huh?
and it looks like you have tons of real good avatars to choose from, but how about a signature line photo?
hee hee!
Lead with an ace:
Phil Rivers derping
Olly Moss F-Bomb
Recipes for your coworkers
The Pride of Missouri
Can't Beat This Classic
Nice suggestions!
How about this one (original image courtesy of ashling - http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018395513):
