There is special place in hell reserved for the inventor of the customer satisfaction survey.

[Initech]

Seriously, I bought a car charger for my phone, I'm not going to rate the performance of the guy who sold it to me. I'm taking a flight, I don't want to rate it. I don't want to like my rental car provider on Facebook nor do I want to rate it.

[AggieGal]

1. They are flawed.

The last time I bought a car from a big dealership, the salesman mentioned the survey. He said to give the highest marks to everything. Anything less was failure. Not failure on his part to provide good service to us, failure for him to not get all high marks. That was my impression.

I threw away the survey when it came in the mail.

[Initech]

2. I did the same thing. It's demeaning to employees and managers.

And they're everywhere - the airlines do it, everything I've ever bought anymore does it, any service I use does it, it's nauseating anymore.

[AggieGal]

3. My exception was for TGI Fridays.

I was motivated by the 1,000 points given for doing a survey. I am a points junkie.

[bluesbassman]

9. They are indeed. I spend more time explaining them than I do the product.

And sometimes it just boils down to one tiny incident in the process that rubs the customer the wrong way and they'll rate their overall experince an 8 or less which fails the whole survey even if I personally get all 10's.

[Denninmi]

4. I agree. I got that at Petco on Friday.

The cashier hands me the receipt, and says "there is a survey. It's very important to me that you fill it out, and give me all 5's on the survey. Have I done anything that would make you give me less than all 5's?"

C'mon, all the guy did was ring up a $10 bag of birdseed. Whoopee zip.

[Initech]

5. I know - I bought a car charger for my phone.

It's not like it's rocket science or anything.

[Ikonoklast]

6. Thank you for your post on this matter. Can you spare a few minutes of your time? You can? Good.

1. Did you find that the respondents to your OP stayed on topic?

A. Yes.
B. No.
C. My Grandmother used to be a knife-thrower in a circus act.


2. Is there a particular reason that use chose this specific topic to post on DU today?

A. No, not really. I have a long list of petty grievances that irk me; this is just the current one.
B. I am actually somewhat compulsive, and fill out every survey asked to IRL...AND I CAN'T STOP IT.
C. Even though the Chuckles the Clown had broken up with her only the week previous to the incident and was tragically killed by Grandma during one of her performances, his death was ruled as an accident at the inquest.


3. Did you find today's current posting experience to be a pleasant one?

A. Yes
B. No.
C. Grandma taught me how to roll my own cigarettes with one hand when I was twelve, and how to fashion a silencer for a firearm out of a tomato soup can and a roll of toilet paper.


4. Do you have any suggestions as how we could improve today's posting experience for you?

A. No, it's about as good as it gets.
B. I would like to have the ability to beat some posters over the head with a large hard salami. It wouldn't improve anything, I just like beating people in the head with cured lunchmeat products.
C. Mom said that it was up to us kids to help her keep Grandma away from Dad on her visits, because Mom said that Grandma liked to get "too friendly" with just about any man she laid eyes on.


5. Did you find that posting in The Lounge is a good value for your money?

A. You have *got* to be kidding me.
B. Absolutely. It's cheaper than boxed wine, with no blinding hangover the next morning. Most of the time.
C. Grandma taught us kids that the most important thing in life is to remember when it's your first day in prison to always pick a fight with the toughest inmate there, in order to establish your cred right away.


6. One last question, when was the last time you had an affair with a one-eyed woman?

A. Never.
B. Define "Affair".
C. Sorry, Grandma wanted me to ask you this. She said you'd hardly notice that she had only one eye after she got you good and drunk, then tied you to the bed.


Thank you for your time in completing our survey. We enjoyed your participation and wasting your time filling out something that no one will ever pay any attention to whatsoever.

Have A Nice Day!

[Initech]

10. LMAO!!!

[Duer 157099]

7. I especially like the ones from Kaiser

First they tell you how anonymous they are, then when you don't return it, you get a second one.

Yeah OK.

[UnrepentantLiberal]

8. Comcast has it right up front.

You learn to hit 2 before the message starts. Then on to the intentionally distorted muzak.

[Curmudgeoness]

11. I agree with you. I am totally insulted

when someone tells me that I will get a survey, and that I have to give the highest possible marks for every single question or they will fail. To me, that has zero credibility. I am not impossible to please, but it takes a lot to make me think that the complete experience was perfect.....I don't give a perfect score to very many people.

[Initech]

14. I wonder who originally thought this was a good idea.

We don't like working these crappy retail jobs for low wages and even lower working conditions and no chance for unionization, but why must we be stooped to begging for survey ratings? It's really really evil.

[Curmudgeoness]

15. It is evil, but I bet it didn't start that way.

Somewhere it started as "we need to get feedback to make improvements" then morphed into "we will penalize anyone who isn't perfect".

I do feel sorry for every employee who has to beg for perfect ratings. And I can imagine that there are a lot of people who would get jollies from screwing up a survey.

And I am just as sympathetic to the people who would really like to give fair evaluations so that the company can make changes that would improve the experience, but instead do one of two things----lie and give "excellent" on all questions (what a bunch of shit) or throw the survey away.

[Turbineguy]

12. By not anwering

you can get some low level employee fired and insure that an MBA gets an annual bonus for reducing costs.

[Initech]

13. That's just evil.

I would ultimately like to get my MBA but if I want to run a company, I want to run it honestly. Seriously, that's just evil.

[Turbineguy]

17. I don't seem to run into MBA's like you.

I would like to, but I don't.

[Initech]

19. Trust me, it's a long way off before I get my MBA.

But I definitely know what it's like to be completely screwed by an employer and if I run a business I certainly don't want to subject my employees to that.

[Curmudgeoness]

16. How is that possible?

How is it possible for them to hold an employee responsible for you not answering a "survey"?

This is important for me to know, since I have always refused to take any survey, no matter how many times they send it. I will not waste my time on a farce, and it is a farce as long as I cannot be honest on the survey for fear of getting someone fired.

[Swede]

18. On a scale of 1 to 10, One being very satisfied,ten being very unsatisfied