Friday Funny: The Sperm Count.

[ohiosmith]

A 79-year-old man was requested by his Doctor a sperm count as part of his physical Exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
 
The next day the 79-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
 
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained,
'well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
 
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
 
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing..'
 
The doctor was shocked!   'You asked your neighbor too?'
 
The old man replied,   'Yep, none of us could get the lid off this damn jar'.

[Baitball Blogger]

1. Well done, well done.

[becca da bakkah]

2. Oh! THAT Count. I Thought You Meant The Guy From Sesame Street....

....One little squirmy, squiggly thing! Two little squirmy, squiggly things! Three little squirmy.....

[Gidney N Cloyd]

3. Never saw that one comin'

[AnneD]

4. I usually ....

whack it with the handle of a knife or pound it on the floor. I works for me.

[Dr. Strange]

5. I'm reminded of a Benny Hill sketch.

He's in a doctor's office, and the doctor points to a specimen jar on top of a cabinet, saying, "Can you fill that?"
Benny replies with, "Not from here."
After a brief pause, he then says, "I could try!"

[krispos42]

6. So I was looking for a picture for my reply...

...and I did this GIS: "naked gun 33 sperm sample leslie nielson"


2nd and 3rd rows that popped up were "My Little Pony" screen grabs.




Anyway...