Should you work with your spouse

[Nuclear Unicorn]

in a non-porn industry?

A few months back my old boss retired. He gave me a generous severance and my husband makes good money so we're not hurting but I've been looking for work to no avail. I'm going stir crazy around the house. I don't think this place has ever been cleaner and I've been brushing up on my cooking (Lover Boy hasn't had his stomach pumped or filed for divorce, so so-far, so-good). I've gotten a lot of home projects done and I think I've become quite the chicken wrangler.

Not long ago Lover Boy's boss gave me some temporary work getting their records in order and to be perfectly honest I wonder why he keeps paying his current front office help when it was her job to take care of things things up front. Whatever. Once I finished that project he offered me 20 to 30 hours a week on a schedule of my choosing.

Now, I wouldn't exactly be working *with* my husband. He's a crew leader and they work out in the field. With the schedule flexibility I could pick 2 or days a week to ride in with him so we would save on commuting costs. Still, I've heard horror stories of couples that don't get enough breathing space.

Thoughts and comments would be appreciated.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. It sounds pretty ideal to me.

You wouldn't really be working with him, since he isn't there.

I think you'll have plenty of breathing space. Go for it!

[rurallib]

2. just an opinion but in my travels

couples that fight, fight wherever they are
Couples that don't fight con't fight wherever they are.

those that get along at home can work together.
You two wouldn't even be actually working together. Personally think things would work out fine.
He's not obsessive about keeping his work life totally separate from his regular life is he?

[Nuclear Unicorn]

5. He's not obsessive about separating work from leisure

but he is fond of saying he works to live not vice versa. We make a dedicated effort to spend time with each other on our off-hours. Sometimes we go to a cabin in the woods, sometimes its sitting amongst our critters in a backyard picnic, sometimes we just lounge about the house watching movies or playing video games (actually, he plays, I like to watch).

We're a damned good fit and I feel like I won life's lottery.

[rurallib]

6. should be good then.

[bluedigger]

3. I've worked with a lot of couples doing field work.

Some of them liked to work together exclusively, and some of them chose not to if they could avoid it. There is no "right" answer, but I always thought it would be easier to spend time together after work if you had something new to talk about.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

4. There's a big difference between

working for the same company, in entirely different areas and working with your husband where one of you might be in a position of
'authority' shall we say? What does your husband think of the idea? That would be my first concern.

[Rowdyboy]

7. My partner retired 5 years ago (I was already retired). He was concerned that being together 24/7

might be a problem but it really hasn't been at all. He did work for about 6 months with the Census but I really missed him and was thrilled when the job finished.

I would think, considering your comfort around each other, you guys would be fine working for the same company-especially if you work in separate locations. Just something else in common to share.

[pipi_k]

8. I think it's less

about "should you" and more about "can you".

I've seen some married couples work fine together, and others who drove each other nuts.

Although if you and hubby aren't actually going to be spending hours together in the workplace, I don't see a big problem.

[In_The_Wind]

9. It didn't work when I tried to involve my husband in my escort business.

He got pissed at something he heard on the CB and almost broke my windshield.
I was able to finnish a rather dicey job escorting an oversize trucking load through a snowstorm into Maine.

He is no longer allowed to ride-along with me.
Plus I took him to his doctor to get help handling rage issues.


Nw about you: If will probably be good for the business but look for new staff so you still have your freedom.

[Maine-ah]

10. I worked with my husband for 13 years.

We were side by side - it worked for us, but it doesn't work for everybody. We're still together almost 20 years now I say give it a try!

[talkingmime]

11. Go for it. You might sneak in a smooch here or there to boot!

If you can work together at home you can work in a business setting. It sounds ideal. I'd work with my wife at her place of work but I'm not certified so I can't even apply. Just go for it. You can always back out if it isn't working right, but I doubt that's the case.

[Spike89]

12. A big factor is the job environment

I do agree with the many who say it depends on your relationship to a large degree, but I think a bigger factor is how Lover Boy feels about his job. My wife and I met at work, then worked together (at that job and later as our own company) and it worked well. However, she has applied to work at my current company and I have mixed feelings.

Job security is a huge issue when you both work at the same company--if one of you is threatened or unhappy. Turnover in the position my wife is looking at has been high. If she takes it and a) hates it, b) can't do it well (it is a tough position), or has other problems with the company, will that affect my position in the organization? Can they lay-off/fire one of us without losing both of us? What happens if the organization fails and we both lose our jobs simultaneously?

The company we both worked for was actually huge (1000's of employees) and pretty stable, plus we worked on different magazines in different groups. The current company is much smaller (less than 100 employees) and there are more connections between all the employees.

Good luck if you choose to do it--it can work well, but be sure you're aware of all the risks.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

13. UPDATE -- I'm gonna do it.