Somebody smashed the glass in the front door to my apartment building today. Hold me.

[applegrove]

[NYC_SKP]

1. Dammit!

Just about three weeks ago I was at my parents (now empty) home with sister and a brick came through the big picture window.

[harmonicon]

2. Damn, you must live in a nice place.

I've lived too many places where that would be far more of a "meh" than a frightening occurrence. That said, I know it sucks. Sorry.

[talkingmime]

4. In '85 I had someone punch in the fly window of my car (remember those?)

I was getting ready to move at the time and had a bunch of empty computer and monitor boxes in the back of the car. The boxes were really large back then and were perfect for my needs. All they did was roll the window down (manual handle - remember those?) to open the lock peg (remember those?) and they rumaged around the boxes. They didn't take anything, just damaged the car. It wasn't the nicest neighborhood but it was all I could afford at the time and they allowed pets.

[magical thyme]

5. aaaackkk!!!

I moved to the country to get away from those kinds of things.

Now I have a nutcase neighbor who tried to lure my dogs into the street by leaving a moose liver on the corner of his yard. I kid you not. An effing moose liver. There was a hoof about 10 feet away. I think the moose probably got hit; they butcher them on the spot because they are too large to transport easily. But I know that an intact moose liver did not fall out of the moose by chance. It was left there deliberately. The black diarrhea all over my family room rug clued me in, so I followed my dogs the next time I let them out to pee and found them nibbling on it. There it was right near the road, next to his wellhead. I had to pick the liver up with a pitchfork and carry it 1/4 mile or so down the road, then toss it over the guard rail and down a ravine to get the temptation away from my boys.

He also tried to run my horses out into the street by opening the pasture gate and chasing them, but they were smarter than he is (they're smart, but to be honest a turnip is smarter than he is) and they ran to the furthest corner of their pasture. I found them cowering back in an area they usually avoid due to it being a coyote crossing. But they knew where the real danger was.

Now he's really freaking me out by trying to be nice. Note the word "trying." He is incapable of being nice, so he eff's that up too. But it's freaked me out enough that I start pricing surveillance cameras this morning. I want them in place and functioning before I put up the no trespassing signs. The signs will likely cause an uproar in the neighborhood and attract all kinds of pissy people.