When real world politics rears its ugly head in the gaming world

[MynameisBlarney]

Some guildies and I started running with a few new people in DDO (Dungeons and Dragons Online), that were introduced to us by a mutual friend.

One is transgendered and the other is a lesbian. One if the people I've known the longest in this game, apparently is not too cool with that.

He totally made an ass of himself while we were running quests with our new friends.

I actually felt sort of embarrassed for him. He's 53 years old and was acting like a 10y/o brat.

So...if there is ANYONE who could possibly give me some advice on how to mediate/mitigate the conflict that is sure to come over this new situation, I would greatly appreciate it.

Also...I realize I'm probably on my own here, but I felt I had to at least try.

[Xithras]

1. Whose the guild leader?

If someone in your guild is making anti-LGBT comments in the game, take it to the guild leader and make sure they know that it's going on and is unacceptable. The loudmouth needs to learn to either keep his mouth shut, or find another group.

I've been through this a few times in groups ranging from Quake/Quake2 clans to WoW guilds. If someone doesn't confront the loudmouth, he'll just keep doing it. Just be aware that doing the right thing can be painful, but bigotry can't be stopped if we don't step up.

Personally, I try not to associate with people who are anti-LGBT, even when playing videogames. Now that this person has revealed himself to be a bigot, I wouldn't worry much about his feelings. I would confront him out in the open, in front of the guild (remember that his actions reflect on everyone in the group), and let the chips fall where they may. If he leaves, so be it. If the guild takes his side, I would leave myself...I wouldn't want to be part of a group of people who actively defend homophobic bigots like that.

on edit:

Oh, and remember that this isn't just about "politics". He's attacking PEOPLE, not a political opinion. How would you react if the guy was dropping n-bombs and talking about "aryan pride" while you were playing with a group of African Americans? Attacking LGBT people while they're right there in the game is no different.

[MynameisBlarney]

2. He's not attacking, or saying anti-anything

actually...he's just been acting like a little turd ever since we started running with these people.
And the guild leader is his sister.
I think he knows better than to say anything overtly bigoted, but is just making needlessly snarky comments since we began running with them. It's like he's showing his disapproval by acting like a damn child.

I will leave the guild if he gets nasty. If he doesn't know my politics by now, he will if he goes there.
But I like his sister, she is nothing like him.

He may just be jealous for some reason, and his odd attitude may have nothing to do with LGBT thing.
I hope that is the case.

[MynameisBlarney]

12. I talked to his sister/our guild leader last night

She said she'll talk to him.
He was in our group last night and was just being an all around cranky bastard for no reason.

After talking with his sister, it's more likely he's got something going on in his real life as opposed to having a problem with the LGBT community. Though the timing of those two showing up in our group of friends and his sudden crankiness leaves me unsure at this point.

[talkingmime]

3. Um, what's the URL for DDO? I go back to the original three-booklet set.

I usually play a half-elf wizard but to be honest I haven't played in over 20 years. I'm good at Magic The Gathering, but while similar, D&D is a completely different experience. And I'm almost 50 but EVERYONE acts like a 10 year old when playing D&D. That's part of the appeal.

[MynameisBlarney]

4. Here ya go

https://signup.ddo.com/ddo.php?ftui=DDOBlackDragon&abrs=221_1362594208

Well, some 10 year old kids are better behaved than others, lol.

[talkingmime]

6. Thank you. I'll give it a whirl.

I'll assume the rules have changed in the last 25 years (since I last played).

[MynameisBlarney]

8. COOL!

I'm on the Orien server. Character names are Brewtolomus, Steenky, Brooo, Hurpaderp, Daesy, Huugh, Moidah, Bruzey, Tarhooties and some other one I can't ever remember.

I will probably be on my artificer, Steenky tonight, as he just hit lvl 20 and is working on epic levels now. I have some lower level toons as well, lowest is lvl 7 I think.
Look for me and I will give you what shineys I can and some moneys to get ya started.

And yes, they are definitely not using classic D&D rules.
I think they're on 4th edition rules or something.

[talkingmime]

9. Okey Dokey. I might need a little nursing here. I started with version 1.

I still haven't adjusted to the current version of Magic (whatever version that is) so we just stick with version six rules that we originally learned, well, right after version six came out. We have house rules too. I recently learned that the new rules do not have a 60 card limit on deck size. We've played 500 card decks and found that it was better to use a 14 card hand and start with 40 points instead of 20. It makes things more interesting.

My dungeon maps are in a special box in the basement along with a wooden box that holds my dice. I was usually the DM and ran hundreds of games. One of the other guys invited us to his house so he could be the DM and the very first room we entered (all level one creatures) we were confronted by a beholder - that's like an 8th level or so creature. We had no choice but to obey instructions. Needless to say (but I'm going to anyway) we didn't invite him to be the DM after that.

[MynameisBlarney]

10. I've never played Magic

But I know a few people that do.

As for DDO, most of us are old table top D&D players and we're all roughly around the same age.
You should watch a few tutorials on youtube, it will show how to avoid common mistakes at character creation...wish I'd known about them when I started my first character, lol.

Luckily, you can re-spec your character, or delete and start over.

Most of the DM's that I had the pleasure of gaming with were very cool and wanted us all to have fun.
Like you, we never invited the bad DM's back, lol.

[talkingmime]

11. I used an HP mini computer (two refrigerators and a beer cooler) to generate D&D characters in 78.

I was taking a class in Fortran at the time and while the COBOL people were using the punch card machines I got to use one of the four terminals. So what did I do? I got stoned all to Jesus and wrote a RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR for creating D&D characters.

At the time it was a big accomplishment, but I could write the same program in about 30 seconds now, including compile time. Then again, my main work computer makes that big ol' HP mini look like a four function calculator from the Dollar Tree. Curiously, my main work computer is also an HP, just a lot more powerful and in a container just slightly larger than a case of beer and it cost a very small fraction of what that mini must have cost. I also don't use Fortran anymore. I still know it. I just don't use it or even have a compiler for it. C# is a pretty nice language. Quite practical.

[MynameisBlarney]

5. I started playing the tabletop D&D

about 25 years ago.
I was never a regular player though. Only because there weren't very many people in rural NC that played D&D.
I tried to get back into it as an adult years later, and actually got to lvl 8 before my character died horribly after insulting a half-orc.

The online version is about as close as one could expect to the real thing.
Gary Gygax actually narrated as DM in a couple of quests. Very cool.

Let me know if you are interested, while you may not want to join the guild I'm in right now, I could certainly set you up with some decent gear and coinage to get you started.

[talkingmime]

7. Thanks for the offer, but I'll just start up as a half-elf wizard, level 1.

I've got four very well mapped dungeons I created in the mid to late 70's, 30 or so levels each. I was a serious geek. Wait, I still am.

We used pewter miniatures and spent hours painting them. I've even got fourteen pork orks (from the original "beginners" kit photo). I laid them out in foam rubber cut out with an exacto knife in a WW-II foot locker that's still in the basement. The foot locker was my grandfather's. We used pencils for hallways and the miniatures to show position so that "first person to walk through (blah blah blah) gets killed by (blah blah blah)". It worked well.

Now I use the D&D dice for Magic The Gathering, a similar sort of diversion from reality. I just toasted my wife with my rats and slivers deck this weekend - several times. Slivers are nasty if you have enough of them.

[MynameisBlarney]

13. I drew one dungeon in my table top days

It sucked, lol.

I had the pewter miniatures too, and tried to paint a few...the first ones....whoa...horrible.
But I got halfway decent at it once I got the right stuff to do it and practiced a bit.

Did you roll a character in DDO last night? I told my friends and guildies, and one of them has a lvl 2 toon and he can show you the ropes until you catch up to my lvl 7 sorc.

Then we can all run quests

[talkingmime]

14. Didn't get into DDO last night - watched the new "Ice Age" movie with my wife.

It's called something like "Continental Drift" - caused by the squirrel and his acorn of course. It's a really good movie. We watched one called "Brave" the night before (Disney/Pixar) and that's also a good watch.

As for the miniatures, my eyesight was a lot better 35 years ago. I used model paints and a 000 brush. Some of them are really intricate. It takes a lot of time with nothing better to do. I've got a little over 300 miniatures and only half of them are painted. I think I'll leave the remaining painting time to my future grandchildren. My kids were never interested in that, although they are all rather skilled in "Magic".

[MynameisBlarney]

15. I hear ya

Yeah, I want to see "Brave"...but I'm not too keen on the "Ice Age" movies though...the first one was hilarious, but they are beating a dead horse at this point IMHO.

I used to have a friend when I lived in NC that had a little barn he and his dad set up to play some game with larger pewter figurines that were from all major armies from every historical battle.
They had big, purpose built tables with landscapes and bridges and defenses...it was awesome....
If I ever have kids, I'm gonna build them (and myself) something similar.

[talkingmime]

16. Well, I have to say the new "Ice Age" is exceptionally well done - all around.

Sid's grandmother is a particularly colorful figure!!! It's certainly worth a watch.

[MynameisBlarney]

17. I'll probably end up watching

it eventually.

[talkingmime]

18. I personally think it's the best one they've done. Excellent story, suspense, conflict, action, love

They put a lot more into that one than any of the others. And yes, I have a weakness for animation, but my favorite isn't CGI, it's stop-action like Tim Burton's and Aardman's films.

[MynameisBlarney]

19. Yeah, I like animation too

I used to be a huge anime fan, but got kinda burned out on it.