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(27,677 posts)geardaddy
(24,931 posts)I'm stuck!
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)geardaddy
(24,931 posts)TrogL
(32,822 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)bluesbassman
(19,379 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Is that you?
Incitatus
(5,317 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)LeftofObama
(4,243 posts)You'll have to come over a bridge. I'm not sure where it is, but Ashling can tell you!
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)trof
(54,256 posts)Wait...OK, I got up.
Oh hell...I fell down again.
Maybe I should quit getting up?
jeez
Now what?
Just stay down?
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)Click!
trof
(54,256 posts)Aristus
(66,478 posts)n/t
I understand this sometimes actually happens...
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)Liberal Veteran
(22,239 posts)And try getting onion rings made from fresh Vidalia onions and deep fried in olive oil.
"Have it your way?" I think not.
antiquie
(4,299 posts)so-called radical leftists like Obama
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)whistler162
(11,155 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)Kennah
(14,337 posts)Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)Kennah
(14,337 posts)Liberal Veteran
(22,239 posts)Brigid
(17,621 posts)1. Find car keys.
2. Drive to grocery store.
3. Purchase tarter sauce.
4. Drive home.
5. Prepare fish sticks according to package directions.
6. Put previously purchased tarter sauce on them.
Problem solved.
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)My trike is uncovered!
[IMG][/IMG]
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)Grantuspeace
(873 posts)Lol
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)[img][/img]
many a good man
(5,997 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)BTW,...that's one of the funniest pics I have ever seen!
Brigid
(17,621 posts)On so many levels.
RedCloud
(9,230 posts)Do I have much time left?
Kennah
(14,337 posts)Frosty1
(1,823 posts)Kennah
(14,337 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)I recognize that voice. Is that you, "Peggy"?
I think I want a different emergency operator...
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)rrneck
(17,671 posts)And I'm using a set of deer horns to look for it.
kurtzapril4
(1,353 posts)That doesn't belong to anybody. It just showed up in the living room on the couch Could it be yours?
rrneck
(17,671 posts)Just kick it over in the corner and I'll grab it next time I come through. Everybody says I wouldn't know what to do with it if I found it anyway.
kurtzapril4
(1,353 posts)until you need it again.
shadowrider
(4,941 posts)rrneck
(17,671 posts)But I keep getting shit in my shinola box.
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)I have no idea where your brother in law is!
Ptah
(33,044 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)LiberalEsto
(22,845 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)Joey Liberal
(5,526 posts)HELP!
lol
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)Bucky
(54,087 posts)The last one turned out to be workable
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)littlemissmartypants
(22,839 posts)I want a boyfriend. Please don't put me on hold.
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)Please hurry!
Kennah
(14,337 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)Inside joke with my doctor who seems to like to schedule my annual probe near my birthday!
Happy holiday season, pinboy3niner!
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)I won't say 'Happy Birthday' because that probably makes you jumpy.
NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)...and then I smile!
I'm like a frakkin baby boy!
Kennah
(14,337 posts)NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)Happy Birthday, he once said!
Kennah
(14,337 posts)... so it's only fair that an annual Birthday present later in life be something involving our ass.
I'm on an annual colonoscopy cycle now, after 10 years with UC, but I need to call the scheduling nurse and see about making it a Birthday present.
"It's my Birthday, doc. Gimme a hand."
"HEH! Not the WHOLE hand, dammit!"
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)Kennah
(14,337 posts)ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)Kennah
(14,337 posts)krispos42
(49,445 posts)Oh god, oh god, oh god, why won't the floor stay down there under my feet, where it belongs?
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)krispos42
(49,445 posts)It can only be waited out.
Took me 8 hours, and vomiting in the sink. Yay?
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)There's nothing better than a good Irish whiskey. Just ask Will.
ohiosmith
(24,262 posts)MiddleFingerMom
(25,163 posts).
.
.
... when a drunken soldier came in who had zipped himself up in his zipper.
I mean -- he had zipped him SELF up in his zipper... zipped it up REAL good.
.
I knew what had to be done, but since I was alone, didn't want to chance
something going very wrong, so I sent him to the nearby hospital with a
driver. I called the ER and said, "Look... I know it's April Fool's Day, but
this is no shit..." and proceeded to explain what they should expect to see
shortly.
.
The medic on the other end dropped the phone laughing... and I heard him
call out to others, "YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LOVE THIS ONE!!!"
.
.
.
Some emergencies were MUCH funnier than others.
.
.
.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)MiddleFingerMom
(25,163 posts).
.
.
.
.
... and virtually no man has done it TWICE!!!
.
.
.
siligut
(12,272 posts)Then the teeth just separate, you don't have to unzip (ouch!).