REVEALED! MFM's secret to being Fucking Immortal.

[Brickbat]

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0595094724/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

Book description:

I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make #### three times in succession without drawing out.In addition, he also can have burned a strong beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration. If you don't know concentration which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell.

[Xyzse]

1. Holy F...

I may just buy this for kicks and giggles.
I just don't want it associated with my Amazon account...
Any one here I can paypal the funds to, that live close enough to me for me to pick it up?

[Baitball Blogger]

2. Anus kegeling. Thank God there's no video.

[Major Nikon]

3. I figured he just used a cork

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-barnes/repurposing-ideas-5-new-uses-wine-corks_b_2277640.html

[Brickbat]

4. *constrict* for the morning crew

[hack89]

5. "Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock,

you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus."

[MiddleFingerMom]

6. OMG!!! I've always read that as "Constrict your anus 1000 times a day".

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And I'm STILL not full of vigor, happiness and joy. My complexion is kinda shitty... and my
eyes DEFINITELY don't sparkle (although they HAVE changed from blue to brown).
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It has helped me accomplish 3 things, though.
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1. I can blow out a candle with it at 50 feet.
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2. I've won the Mr. Univass competition 8 years running.
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3. I get all the personal space I want -- including always getting my own seat on the bus -- "I'm
sorry, but I can't talk right now. I have to constrict my anus another 485 times. HEY... where ya
goin'?"
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And, unless I want 'em to know... no one EVER knows that I'm doing it right in front of them!!!
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485
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484
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483
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48
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Um
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48
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Oh, CRAP... now I have to start over. Thanks a LOT!!!!!
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[Baitball Blogger]

8. Women know what the kegeling exercise face, looks like.

When you see it, it's like they spotted a spider on the ceiling and they're monitoring its movements.

[Arugula Latte]

7. Everyone -- *clench* *release* *clench* *release*

Ah, my dirty stickiness is indeed burned out now.