I can not get into the spirit to celebrate this year.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

I see the lights, see the people running around. I feel I am outside looking in. Last year was my first Christmas with nothing, save Dave. I was able to keep busy with finding work and doing my work at the Homeless shelter. This year, since I have used many places help, I can't volunteer with anyone. It is the Holiday season, but I can't get anyone to hire me even part time.

I can not afford a Christmas Tree or even a dinner. It will be a Roman Christmas. It is hurting a lot. It all is making me feel like a failure. if it is making me feel so bad, I can imagen what Dave is going through. He has always been Mr. Fix it, the go to guy. It is one of the things we have in common. Now we in an area financially and emotionally that hurts deep inside.

I know many are going through a bad time right now. And I sound very selfish, but the hurt is real in me. I keep trying to look on the bright side but the hurt won't go away. The lights, the decorations, the happiness that is all around just hurts.
What to do is something out of my reach. I don't see my feelings getting any better till after New Years.

Holiday's Stinks.

[hedgehog]

1. I'm sorry you're having these troubles.

[eugene jones]

2. I'm sorry, LFR.

I dislike the holidays lately.

But, I changed my way of thinking to this... a simple Christmas keeps to the true spirit of the holiday.

You don't need to give gifts...remember the saying, people don't remember you for how much money you had...they remember you for how you made them feel.

If you can brighten someone's day during the season, you have kept to the intent of the holiday.

If you see a stressed out cashier or other worker, smile at them and tell them they are doing a good job. It will make them feel good, and it will make you feel even better.

[love_katz]

3. I am in the same boat.

I have not had money for gifts for my family for @ 6 years, I think.

This year has been the worst year for me since 1990. I am not even earning enough money to pay my bills and still have money left to live on. Last month my bills exceeded my income, and I had to put gas and food on my credit card (which means I spent money that I did not and do not have.)

2012 has really sucked, and with years of suckage piling up, that is saying something.

I find myself wanting to crawl into a hole, and pull it in after me until the holidays are over.

I need a second job...but my last attempt at that ended disastrously.

All I can do is hope that 2013 will be much better.

I will have a good 2 weeks of unpaid time off coming soon.

I am fighting some kind of bug right now...but I hope to work on a 30 day release challenge during that time. I have tons of clutter and junk/trash that needs to be cleaned out and released. The idea is that by doing the best that we can with the release challenge, we open the pathway for new stuff and a better, brighter future in the next year.

I am so sorry you are hurting, that both of us have had a rotten year.

I wish for you a Better, Brighter future in the coming year!

If you want a link to the web site with the release challenge (it is free), then please PM me. Maybe connecting with other people who are doing this together would help? No pressure, no worries if you don't want to/feel like it. It is just a thought.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

4. I think the memories of what was is what hurts the worse.

Last year I was busy trying to survive. This year, things are bad, but not the same way. With nothing to occupy my mind the "what was" can creep in.

[pipi_k]

5. Oh, the dreaded

"what was".

I know it well.

And it hurts. It's actually a physical pain.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I hate Christmas every year. People who don't have depression or who don't hate the holidays can't fathom how much this time of year can hurt.