Last edited Wed Dec 12, 2012, 04:10 PM - Edit history (1)
Review by Wisconsin Willifrieda:
*****
Like any normal Cheesehead, I love my brats. But until now, I’ve been struggling to discover a way to keep them impaled on my sword, bite after bite, long enough to totally finish one. Every time I eat one halfway through, the remaining part falls off the sword and tumbles to the floor, rolling in cat and dog hair until it’s completely dirty. Then, one of the animals pounces on it, devours it, and later hacks up a disgusting hairball on my bed. The bed is now covered in hairballs, and my grossed-out boyfriend is sleeping on the couch. Not only am I hungry, but I’m getting sick and tired of the same nightly routine.
Then I discovered the Hutzler 751! I realize that it was developed for bananas, but when I first saw one, I immediately realized its possibilities. With a little squeeze here and a firm poke there, I can wield the Hutzler 751 in such a way that a delicious bratwurst is sliced into perfectly even segments that balance perfectly on the sword tip. This enables me to eat a slice in one chomp, though I have to be extremely careful the point doesn’t catch in my dentures and dislodge them, resulting in an animal pouncing on them. Now I can enjoy an entire brat – no more waste! However I’ve had to resort to dead pigeons to feed the dogs and cats. This still results in hacked-up featherballs, but I can easily brush them off the bed onto the floor with the side of the sword. My only complaint, if you can call it one, is that I would like the Hutzlers to design a slicer that would work on a whole bloodwurst, which is a couple feet long. If you think eating an impaled brat on a sword is tricky, you should try balancing a two-foot-long pig intestine filled with cooked blood and barley groats on your sword and trying to eat it without the other end smacking off your cheese hat. Please, Hutzlers, have pity on me!
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