Excessiveness
Nadine's thread about alcoholism got me thinking about my own excessive ways. It used to be that when I found something I liked I engaged in it in a slovenly, exorbitant way. By the way, I'm in college now and I'm learning about all kinds of cool, big words. 
I'm fortunate not to have become addicted to anything stronger than cigarettes. Lord knows I should have an alcohol problem as well, but I've managed to dodge that bullet somehow. I guess I just don't have that gene or whatever it is that makes you go until you can't go without it.
I kicked the cigarettes about 4.5 months ago and my drinking started tapering off shortly before I met my wife. I was down to a twelve pack on the weekends and I gave that up a month ago because I wanted to lose weight. And my weight is my last hurdle; my excessive desire for food. You know what? It's proving to be the hardest one for me. Initially, the smokes were harder, but abstaining from that got a lot easier after a couple of weeks. Now I don't have much trouble with that. But food? Ah, yes, that's my first love. Before there was tobacco, beer, and dope there was food.
What's getting me is the thought that if I want to remain healthy and lose weight and keep it off, I have to restrain myself for the rest of my life when it comes to food. Now days I consume what it would take to maintain my weight at 200 pounds. That's what I want to weigh. It's hard for me right now even though I'm getting good results. I didn't realize how bad I was getting as far as my eating went. I was at 321 and climbing. To do that, you have to consume 3500 calories a day or better. I think I was well on my way to 400 pounds.
I don't know what it is about my psyche that makes me behave that way. Maybe I should go to therapy for it. I have bipolar disorder and I takes meds for that. I've done the talk therapy for that and have gained insight into many things about my myself that were mysteries before. I suppose that my excessiveness could have something to do with the extremes of my illness even though I don't suffer from any other symptoms anymore.
Whatever it is, it looks like I'm destined to just grin and bear it. One cool thing just happened to me, though. Before I sat down to write this I was struggling with not snacking until supper. Well, I've almost made it to supper time. Maybe these words are a part of the solution to my mystery.
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I hear you about food!
But, like you, once I get involved in writing here on DU, or writing a poem, my appetite falls away. It's almost as though I can only want one thing at a time.
Whatever it is, it's working. I want to lose weight too, and staying distracted is key.
I hope everything is going well there.
I just got word that one of my poems will be published.......in 2014! It's OK; I can wait, LOL!
That's got to be a great feeling. I'm happy for you and maybe a little jealous.
It is a great feeling......And don't be jealous, sweetie.....Your turn IS coming.
That's something very admirable about you, Tobin. You never stop trying to improve.
IMHO, your medications may have some effect on your appetite. Some meds are well known for causing people to gain weight--some by increasing appetite, some by decreasing metabolism, some do both!
It might help, also, to get some more talk therapy. Some people have used eating as a way of soothing themselves.
Good luck! 
Just teasing.
I do tend to shovel it in especially if I have a lot of my plate. I think just dishing up smaller portions makes me appreciate the food more and eat slower.
