Name something America needs

[jmowreader]

I will start: Low-piss beer. The problem with beer is, you go to a sports bar to have a pitcher with your friends and watch a game or a race, and the winning touchdown or the pass for the win always happens while you're in the men's room. We need a beer that doesn't do that to you.

It would help if it didn't also taste like piss.

[HopeHoops]

1. An enema.

[Major Nikon]

5. careful

http://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2012/09/wine-enema-hospitalises-student/

[HopeHoops]

2. If the name starts with "Lite" or "Light" - get something real instead.

[TeamPooka]

3. legalized pot and hemp nt

[bluedave]

27. A ding dong

to have with my illegalized hemp

[Major Nikon]

4. They already make that. It's called whiskey.

[cloudbase]

6. A good five cent cigar.

I'm getting old.

[trof]

9. "A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke." - Rudyard Kipling

I have no idea what that means.

[Moondog]

16. "The Betrothed" by Kipling

It makes more sense, like so many things, when read in context. The quote in question is at the end.

Here's the whole thing -

http://www.readbookonline.net/readOnLine/2738/

[Moondog]

18. Ah, I see by another post

that you've already found this. My apologies.

[DaniDubois]

7. Honest politicians.

[larocks4552s]

13. +100

A mere pipe dream, unfortunately

[trof]

8. Solution: TVs at the urinals.

[trof]

10. A gizmo that disables a cellphone when you start a car's engine.

I'm no electronics expert, but I know it could be done.
As long as the engine's running, the phone is useless.

[Kennah]

20. I was gonna say 24 volts delivered through the phone or BlueTooth, but we can do it your way.

[jmowreader]

26. Not overly difficult...

Engines produce a lot of electrical noise. Phones have GPS, which can sense motion. Set up the phone so it won't work if it sees motion over 5 mph plus electrical noise strong enough to indicate you're in the car.

[MiddleFingerMom]

11. My favorite bar ever was in rural Pennsylvania -- a huge rambling building right next to...

.
.
.
... what HAD been the oldest covered bridge in Pennsylvania (the bridge was still there,
but the "covered" part had been gone for some time).
.
This bar, probably back in the 30's or even farther back, used to be men only in the bar --
though women could sit in the parlor or the dining room. It had a big rectangular bad and
it used to have a slightly inclined small trough with running water that circled the bar.
.
If you had to go, you simply stood up (or sat forward) and urinated in place. I think it also
served a dual purpose as a spitoon.
.
This was not a common feature, but not an unheard of facility in a number of stag bars
from the 19th century on.
.
The trough was "gone", though the bar DID have a footrest that might have been put
in place to conceal it.
.
.
.
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/midnight_sun/blog/2010/04/thats_not_just_any_foot_rest_i.html
.
.
.

[hobbit709]

12. Brains

[Special Prosciuto]

14. A Precode Pissless Pilsner.

[Odin2005]

15. High speed rail.

I can't drive and I consider the lack of decent mass transit to get from Fargo to elsewhere is a disgrace.

[Brother Buzz]

17. A seven-cent nickel

The nickel today is not what it was fifteen years ago. Do you know what this country needs today?…A seven-cent nickel. Yessiree, we’ve been using the five-cent nickel in this country since 1492. Now that’s pretty near a hundred years’ daylight saving. Now, why not give the seven-cent nickel a chance? If that works out, next year we could have an eight-cent nickel. Think what that would mean. You could go to a newsstand, buy a three-cent newspaper and get the same nickel back again. One nickel carefully used would last a family a lifetime!

[ohiosmith]

19. More cowbell!

[Kennah]

21. An energy policy that really addresses Climate Change

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. America needs Health Care that is NOT contingent on Employment.

[BlueMan Votes]

23. a progressive collective mind.

[Angleae]

24. Calvin says it best

[littlemissmartypants]

25. ...

[LiberalEsto]

28. Sanity.

and/or more Prozac.