Veet for Men, the Amazon reviews

[intaglio]

Text only but possibly NSFW

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

Samples

I live in the countryside and watching the lambs gambol in the fields I pondered that they would need shearing soon and from there turned my thoughts to doing a little thinning of my own undergrowth. On a trip into town I saw a tube of Veet and the product description seemed ideal for my purposes. I didn't read the instructions because I'm a man ...

snip/ I took off from the deckchair like Usain Bolt out of the TV adverts. Within 12 seconds, the bathroom was filled with steamy fetid barse broth, and I had the clock weights, biffin's-bridge and Sherriff's badge under ice-cold running water at the tap end of the bath. This did not please the missus, as she was relaxing in there at the time surrounded by floating petals and candles,

I drifted in and out of consciousness for the next two weeks, after which I awoke at the bottom of a railway embankment surrounded by the lifeless bodies of several species of local wildlife which had succumbed to their curiosity and strayed too close to my horrendously super-heated pubic region. The unimaginably wicked stench of the singed fur of a short-tailed weasel will haunt me for the rest of my now severely diminished days.