So I go to the liquor store this afternoon...

[KansDem]

As I approach the door, I see a sign that reads:

Please take off masks before entering
And have a Happy Halloween!

I figure that's a good idea! I mean, I imagine folks are wearing costumes that include masks as they pick up liquor on their way to Halloween parties this evening. And if I were a clerk in a liquor store, the last thing I'd want to see is someone entering my store with a mask on.

"Not a bad idea," I said to myself as I entered the store. But once inside, the clerk looks at me and says, "Hey, pal! Didn't you read the sign?!!"

[GoneOffShore]

1. Ba dump.

[ellisonz]

2. You must have some mug!

[KansDem]

5. Are you kidding?

When I was growing up, my mother used to tell me that if the family dog had a face like mine, she'd shave its butt and teach it to walk backwards!*

________
*[font size="1"]With apologies to the writers of M*A*S*H*

[Major Nikon]

3. It would work better if Rodney Dangerfield did it

Come to think of it, I think he may have

[KansDem]

4. Yes, I was channeling the Master

One of my favorite lines:

My father hated me! He used to give me my allowance in traveler's checks!