The (Nearly) Complete List
• He lives vicariously through himself.
• He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
• His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
• When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.
• His shirts never wrinkle.
• He is left-handed and right-handed.
• If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
• The police often question him just because they find him interesting.
• His blood smells like cologne.
• On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.His hands feel like rich brown suede.
• Cuba imports cigars from him.
• Mosquitos refuse to bite him purely out of respect.
• In museums, he is allowed to touch the art.
• His business card simply says “I’ll call you.”
• He has won the lifetime achievement award, twice.
• If he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him.
• He bowls overhand.
• He is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks.
• He tips an astonishing 100%.
• Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut.
• Panhandlers give him money.
• He divorced his wife because he caught her littering.
• His passport requires no photograph.
• When he drives a new car off the lot, it increases in value.
• He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.
• He never says something tastes like chicken – not even chicken.
• He’s been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room.
• Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
• He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.
• His shirts never wrinkle.
• He has amassed an incredibly large DVD library, and it is said that he never once alphabetized it.
• You can see his charisma from space.
• He does Calculus in his head.
• He once punched a magician. That’s right. You heard me.
• If a monument were built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close… due to poor attendance.
• His organ donation card also lists his beard.
• On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
• He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
• His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
• His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.
• The pheromones he secretes have been known to affect people miles away, in a slight but measurable way.
• His hands feel like rich brown suede.
• He owns three sports cars and rents five.
• He once taught a horse to read email for him.
• He once brought in $13 million at a charity bachelor auction, which was a lot of money at the time.
• Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.
• Midgets look up to him.
• Ghosts fear him.
• When sailing, the wind is always at his back.
• As a toddler he taught others to walk.
• His passport requires no photo.
• Athletes seek his autograph.
• He can keep one eye on the past while looking into the future.
• When fishing at some point he has to call it quits.
• His 1913 Duesenberg still has that new car smell.
• Though he can't walk on water he's never slipped on ice.
• Dolphins love swimming with him.
• His mother has a heart tattoo that reads, "Son".
He is... the most interesting man in the world.
Stay thirsty, my friends 
