If you had married your first (significant or memorable) childhood crush -- Would you be better off?

[KurtNYC]

Common advice for taking written tests is if you are unsure of an answer go with your first choice. Well certainly in grade school I was unsure of who to pick for a life partner but I strongly remember 2 crushes from that period.

My first crush later joined a cult (Children of God) and has had issues in their adult life. So that's a "no."

But my second crush now lives on 400 acres of lake front property and has a pilot's license and is generally happy and well adjusted. So that one would be a "yes."

[LynneSin]

1. He's on a sexual predator list now

So my guess is absolutely hell no!

But in second grade he was a cutie.

[KamaAina]

25. Can you show us on the dolls where he touched you?

[pscot]

44. DUZY

[TwilightGardener]

2. High school boyfriend--he's still a good guy, doing well for himself, he wouldn't

have been a bad choice at all (except that he dumped me, LOL--so it's not like I had a choice). But I have had a good and interesting life with the guy I married, no regrets.

[OriginalGeek]

3. My first "real" girlfriend

I thought I was in love. She was my GF in high school when I got my first car. Our first date was our first real, by ourselves, no chaperone date. She said she'd marry me when I asked her at the roller skating rink....

Fortunately, we both realized high school was no time to decide such things and, unfortunately, she took that to mean cheat on me with another guy.

She's still married to that guy though. Raving right wing loonies. I won.

[seabeyond]

4. god... no. lol. nt

[Arkansas Granny]

5. I've not seen him in over 40 years, so I can't say for sure, but I doubt it.

He was a nice enough guy and all, but he was all looks and not much sense.

[Xyzse]

6. First Significant Crush?

Uh, do celebrities count?

[KurtNYC]

8. yes

[Xyzse]

10. LOL Ok.

Celebrity crush - Miss Saigon. She was a kid when I was a kid, I even met her once when she was a child star.

First significant crush never materialized, and there are reasons for that.

The first person I was with, we're decent friends, we sometimes do races and events together. Would not be a bad thing, but I don't see a future of such a thing there. It is possible that we both would be better off now if we were together, but I don't see a relationship with her being a temperate one. It would be chaotic with a lot of strong passions. Meaning, epic fights and epic sex that would last hours on end. I kinda miss that but things that burn too hot don't last long... So, hypothetically if we were able to keep at it together, sure things would be better, though I don't know if my nerves could handle it. We really are much better as friends that have a once every few years intense encounter.

Yep, I have never married but I am in my very early thirties. No rush.

[onehandle]

7. Childhood crush? Raquel Welch, Ann-Margret, or Barbara Eden?

They wouldn't have me.

My first 'girlfriend' was in Kindergarten. I have no idea what became of her. She had a unique name, but a quick search produced nothing.

My first real girlfriend (High School). It would have ended in a murder-suicide.

I was an 'acquaintance' of my wife for 7 or 8 years before we got together. We figure if we would have gotten together earlier, we would have divorced. Neither of us wanted to marry young.

[Baitball Blogger]

9. Absolutely not.

My first boyfriend was absolutely wonderful as a first boyfriend, but we both had separate destinies. I'm so glad we had the time to spend together, as the song goes. I got to meet his wife and I was very happy for him.

Then there's my hubby. Each year it only keeps getting better.

[elleng]

11. Dunno; ask me next week.

Going to high school reunion this coming weekend!!!

[woodsprite]

12. I'm married to him now, so I guess we did OK :)

We met in middle school, dated through high school, and got married after college. We'll be married 27 yrs this December and have 2 kids who seem to be doing well. Hubby is director of a tech department at a school and I'm a web developer. We did all the money stuff on our own with the exception of a $2K loan for our first home from my in-laws. We have a close extended family, and unfortunately, most of them are republicans! It makes for some rather interesting/heated table conversations.

I had a brief date with a gypsy kid at one time in high school. His family is part of a traveling band of gypsies that the police dept actually have on their watch list, so I think I made the right choice My hubby had some dates with a mutual friend. She was pretty much of a tease back then. We seem to have done better or equally as well as some of the kids who gave us grief about dating exclusively in HS.

Our kids seem to be on the right track. We didn't push, but both kids have sought out the honors or advanced placement route in school. We have a daughter in her 2nd yr of college and a son who is in 7th grade. I'm floored when it happens, but we have had strangers (waiters, checkers, teachers, etc.) come up to us and make comments about how respectful or polite our kids are, and ask how we did it. I just say that we raised them with the expectations that they are civil, polite and know how to behave.

I'm happy with our life and proud of what we accomplish together (as a couple, and as a family). Just think, combined, we don't even make half of what Mittsy considers middle-income.

If I could go back and change 3 things, they would be:
1) I would have put more money aside for college. We're fixing that for our son.
2) I would have been more serious about investing in our retirement at an earlier age and maybe tried to live solely off hubby's income and invest mine as salaries increased.
3) I would have had our kids closer together rather than 7yrs apart, but not much we could do about that one. As it was, it took IVF to have our son.

[ohiosmith]

13. No! She wore white lipstick. No good could come of that.

[texanwitch]

14. He was a spy and much older.

It would have never worked.

[mnhtnbb]

15. No, but he's been stalking me for years...well, not quite stalking...but every few years tries to

reconnect. Sends me long e-mails. Wants to get together.

No thanks! He's a tea party supporter! Ew!!!!

[Populist_Prole]

16. After some thinking, I would have to say no

It would have resulted in me getting married too young and I know I'd surely miss out on all the cool places I went and things I did in my 20's and 30's. Of course If I did get married then I would have no idea what I missed, so I'm speaking in parallel universe terms.

[HopeHoops]

17. I can't really say, but I'm happy now. My first was in kindergarten (and serious).

The next was in 3rd grade and she and I later met up again in high school (after we'd both moved a few times) and she was dating the drummer. My third was in Jr. High and I offered to take her out of an abusive marriage and marry her some years later. A few years after that, she showed up at our place in NW PA (wife and mine) with her boyfriend and two sons - they were on the run. We probably committed a felony by assisting them, but you never stop loving someone.

I had a few others before meeting my wife, but I wouldn't trade her for anything. She's my best friend.

[bluedigger]

18. Hard to say.

My elementary school girlfriend doesn't like boys anymore, so she's out.

I haven't seen/been in contact with my hs crush for over 30 years, so who knows?

[davsand]

19. Not just no, but a resounding HELL NO!

We dated for years--off and on all through high school and part of the way through my college years. Our entire relationship was one long series of ups and downs with all the classic patterns of early domestic abuse, including attempts to isolate me from my family and friends. He put me upside a wall one night and I kicked him out of my life. The little SOB stalked me for a couple of years after that, and I endured my own personal hell because of it. It took me a long time to get past several years of being told, "Nobody will ever love you like I do."

Without a doubt, I am who I am now because of what happened, but do I think I would have been better off to stay? No.

My husband is an amazing man who truly is a life partner. He's a wonderful father to our daughter, and I am elevated by my choice of partners. I can't imagine not having him in my life, he really is my best friend as well as my husband.



Laura

[Chan790]

20. No.

She's a nice enough person, but she's exactly the same person she was then: a small-town townie with no ambition to be more in life. Married young, had two kids, divorced that guy because he was an ass. Remains unmarried. Works in a factory.

The second one would be a bit worse off. Became really religious and conservative...or always was and I didn't notice. I never really took a shot on her because despite going to HS together, I spent that entire time thinking I was taking a roman-collar.

The third one is the one I regret. This super-amazing girl I went to HS with (see above for why HS was a problem.), kind of nerdy and geeky. Super well-read and worldly. Was a communist. Really just a nice person. Never one of the cool kids, probably because she was a scholarship-kid. (In coed private prep school, that's the kiss-of-death for being accepted.) Sometime around July after I graduated from HS, figured out she had a thing for me. By that time she had disappeared into the ether, 10+ years and she's not in contact with anybody from HS. She's probably a museum curator or writer or activist or something neat, I like to think she outdid us all...maybe moved to Europe.

The fourth one was the one that made me realize that I'm just not interested in relationships, marriage or kids. Unfortunately, after convincing me of those...she decided she wanted them with someone else. She was super-inept at life, subjected me to the worst breakup anybody I've ever discussed it with has ever suffered (Really, cheating would have been preferable.), took all of our mutual friends and stole my phone-charger. I have no idea what happened to her but I'd like to think she's dying of syphilis.

[Nikia]

21. Can't find info on my elementary school crush

He has a not so uncommon name that is shared with a famous person. My middle school crush didn't like me much, but a quick search reveals that he is an accountant for a major corporation.
My first high school boyfriend does similiar work as I do now but in a different industry. He likes many of the same movies, music, and movies as I do. He moved to a different state, which I see as a good thing because his father was a patriarchal jerk. He did get married and has one child. From his Myspace page and that of his wife though, they divorced recently and his ex wife commented that she was married "too long". I don't think that is a big endorsement for changing for the better.

[CherokeeDem]

22. Yep...

I'd be divorced from a doctor now, instead of a loser...

[MineralMan]

23. It's almost impossible to know.

My first real girlfriend in high school was my only girlfriend in high school. We drifted apart after I graduated and went off to college. That happens a lot. Almost 50 years later, we got back in touch. We're both married to people we consider to be our soul mates, and neither of us has any interest in changing that. She's still a very lovely person, and we got all caught up on what our lives have been. It was nice. But not tempting for either of us. It was great to hear from her and to laugh about those old days and find out what had become of each of us. I'm glad she found me on Facebook.

Would she have been a good life partner? I'm sure she would have been. But, there's more than one potential life partner out there for most people. Teenage romances don't usually end in lifetimes together.

On the other hand, my sister married her high school boyfriend, and they're still married and happily, so such relationships certainly can work out.

[KamaAina]

24. Yes

I'd be married.

[pipi_k]

26. What a strange life

I would be living now if I had married my first childhood crush:

[Bertha Venation]

27. Probably not.

Beth. She was a year ahead of me in high school. We had the chorus in common, then over a summer she taught me field hockey. I sucked during my senior year while she excelled as a freshman on scholarship at CSSJ. We lost touch. We're now nominally in touch by Facebook, but with 30 years between then and now, it would be like strangers meeting. Not that I wouldn't at the chance.

But I think that if we had become an item during high school, even the summer after she graduated (which is what I innocently wished for (not exactly coming out to myself) before she left for San Jose State), it probably not would have lasted.

Edit: as sweet as my memories of Beth are, I would trade nothing for my marriage.

Pragmatism beats wistfulness. Still . . . <-- just so you'll know, Bethie.

[benld74]

28. Oh heck no! Vowed a long time ago, NEVER to look back. Always shut the door on getting back.

Worked for me. Maybe not for others

[KurtNYC]

31. I have no regrets. Was more interested in that naive state of attraction

and what kind of choice it would have led to.

[Bucky]

29. Donna D. She broke my heart.

I tried to call her after we got back from summer camp, but she wouldn't return my phone calls. That set the pattern right there for the next 35 years.

[brooklynite]

30. I did...

...married my College Girlfriend; we've been together for 34 years and married for 24.

[LiberalEsto]

32. Heck no!

I connected with him on Facebook a while back through our high school. He is boring. Totally different interests.

[Blue_In_AK]

33. Well, I finally did,

but it was 40 years later. I probably could have saved myself some grief if we had stayed together back then, but I don't like to second guess. I'm happy now, that's all that matters to me.

[noamnety]

34. I'd regretfully have to say no.

I still think Alan Alda's a great guy and all, but if he'd gone out with me then that would have made him a pedophile. So that wouldn't have been good long term relationship material.

[nolabear]

35. Bugs Bunny? Probably not. Oh, human? Got me. No idea where he might be.

But ohhh, that Wascal Wabbit...

[RebelOne]

36. No way!!! n/t

[Xipe Totec]

37. She is now a world Tae-Kwon-Do champion and still drop dead gorgeous. So, yes.

Then again, if I had married Lucretia Borgia instead of the woman I ended up marrying, I would still be better off.

Would I marry her now; the Tae-Kwon-Do champion? Probably not.

[laundry_queen]

38. I don't know. I don't know about 'better off'

I left town with my now-ex, moved far away, started a family and meanwhile my first crush - he stayed in town, got married, etc. Then my husband (now ex) left me with 4 kids, so I moved back to my hometown where this crush still is. He seems like a really nice guy still. We have kids (both have 4 kids) that are the same age, that are even in the same class, so I don't think my life would've been much different except maybe I wouldn't be divorced (and hopefully he wouldn't have cheated like my ex).

[Odin2005]

39. I'd be in jail for bigamy because my crush was on the Olsen twins.

[HipChick]

40. I married my first boyfriend..

I've been happily divorced ever since...


and he's still a loser...

[AnnieBW]

41. I Found Out That Mine was Gay

I looked him up on Facebook by looking at a friend's friend list. I looked at his profile, and there were all of his wedding pictures (this was right after NY allowed same-sex marriage). Boy, was I relieved! Here, I always thought that he just wasn't interested in me... he wasn't interested in girls, period! Of course, back in the early '80's, a guy who liked show tunes and Diana Ross wasn't a big red (rainbow?) flag the way that it is now. I was a fag hag before I knew what a fag hag was!

Would I be better off? No. I'm happy with the guy that I've got, and I'm wishing my high school crush much happiness with his husband.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

42. yes.

[TuxedoKat]

43. Eew, no way

He was the coolest kid in 7th grade. I was pretty shy and quiet then. Years later when I saw him, he was definitely interested in me but no way would I have ever gone out with him then.

[Mr.Bill]

45. My high school girlfriend was bat-shit crazy.

I connected with her on Classmates.com a few years ago. She's a Psychologist.

[darkangel218]

46. I defenetly wouldve

Lived a more secure but hella boring life.

He dumped me for someone else who he married soon after.

[heysky]

47. Spam deleted by hlthe2b (MIR Team)

[MrScorpio]

48. No, we might have killed other

On the nice side, she was bi. So there could have been some possible ménage a trois in the offing.

But for the most part, we drove each other fuckin nuts. High school sweetheart and all that rot.