I got a teen arrested last night for drug possession. Feeling a little bad about it.

[NickB79]

My wife and I took our 2 yr old daughter to the local park, and while I was pushing her on the swing, a police officer pulled into the park and went over to talk with some kids hanging out under the bridge. While he was distracted talking to a couple of them, another one walked away from the group, strolled over and threw something that was in his backpack into a public grill. After 20 min. the cop got in his car and the kids started to walk away. I flagged the cop down as he was driving away and told him what I saw, and described which kid it was that I saw do it. I pointed out the grill, and when he went over to inspect it he found a pipe in the ash. Boy, was he pissed! He screamed out the kid's name (small town, apparently he knew the kid) and the teen came walking back. After a few minutes of chewing the kid out, he put him in the back of the car and drove down the path into the woods where the other kids had quickly walked down. I don't know if he caught up to them; we left shortly thereafter.

I've never been a big fan of the police, and I feel bad that I put a kid in jail, but this was a park where families take their little kids to play! I don't care what people do in their own homes, but damn it this is where toddlers play. What if he'd just thrown it on the ground and my daughter found it?

Sorry, just needed to vent a little bit.

[Major Nikon]

1. Getting high in a public park around people's kids just isn't cool

I don't like to see drunks either. I wouldn't call the cops in either situation unless they were directly bothering me, but I don't care for that shit. If you want to get drunk or high, go someplace appropriate. Don't do it around people's families.

[leftyohiolib]

4. "drunk or high, go someplace appropriate" like the beach, sports arenas, restaurants

people get drunk at those places right in front of families. those places arent appropriate?

[Major Nikon]

8. The beach is no different than a park

As far as the other places mentioned, I'm not big on the idea, but at least I fully expect people to be getting intoxicated at those places. There ought to be public places which are free from it, and I'm not talking about someone sipping a beer, I'm talking about people getting fully intoxicated. That's why cops are quicker to bust people in parks for public intoxication. Most people don't want to put up with that shit.

[Brickbat]

55. Agreed.

[rug]

2. Was it a pot pipe?

[Major Nikon]

14. I can't imagine it being one of these

[leftyohiolib]

3. what if she did find it? would she become addicted to pot? or to anything? you probably did more

to that kid with a crimnal tools arrest then he could have done to your child. you didnt see them doing anything untill someone threw something somewhere.
did the police come back to tell you they found a pipe in the ash or were you close enough to see it? what do you think will happen to your child when the legalize pot and she see's people smoking it?

[NickB79]

5. Yes, I saw it was a pipe

Not sure what kind of pipe, though. Does a person use the same kind of pipe for pot, meth, and crack, or are they different? My first thought was that it was for something a lot harder than pot (all the pot I saw in college was smoked as joints, not in pipes).

The cop apparently thought they looked suspicious, which is why he pulled into the park. Then I saw one of the kids try to hide something. I didn't know if it was pot, meth, crack, a GUN! All I told the cop was that I saw one of the young men take something out of his backpack and throw it inside a public grill, which seemed very odd given that there were plenty of trash cans nearby. My concern was that, what would happen if a child found drug paraphernalia or a weapon lying around and brought it home, or to school? There is an elementary school that borders the park. With some of the ridiculous zero-tolerance rules around here, that could be horrible.

Like I said, I don't have a problem with people smoking weed recreationally (though I draw the line at hard drugs like meth and crack). When they legalize weed and/or when she goes off to college, I'll discuss smoking pot the same as I'll discuss drinking and sex. Just don't do it in a park where there are little kids playing.

[KamaAina]

6. They are different

Meth and crack pipes are made of glass. Pot pipes are similar to those used for smoking tobacco. And yes, people do herb in pipes.

[Maine-ah]

51. pot pipes can be made from glass too.

I've seen plenty of them

[riderinthestorm]

30. I hate to break it to ya Nick but I'd have the convo about drugs, drinking and sex a LOT earlier

than 18 years old.

Like maybe 12 years old. Trust me on this. Waiting to have those conversations until she's heading to college is way too late....



(says cynical riderinthestorm, mother of two daughters - a trusty 24 yr old and wild 15 yr old).

[kurtzapril4]

34. I'm not saying they don't exist....

but I've nemover seen a pot or crack smoking device that looked like a GUN.

FFS, I don't know how old you are, but when I was in college I saw people smoke pot as joints, and in water pipes, and in bowls. You over-reacted. Own it.

[hobbit709]

7. Well you now have a reputation as a snitch.

you couldn't just say you saw a kid throw it in there, you had to give the kid a record.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

10. +1

Plus, the kid would have retrieved the pipe anyway as soon as the coast was clear.

[schmice]

13. Yup. Plus who would let their 2 year old near those grills.

[schmice]

12. I agree with you.

[GumboYaYa]

9. Tell those damn kids to get of my lawn.....

total old man move.

[Tobin S.]

11. I would have looked the other way on that one

I always look the other way unless someone is getting hurt.

[schmice]

15. Sorry NickB79 but I think you overreacted. You should feel bad.

You asked what if he just thrown it on the ground and your daughter found it. Well, he didn't just throw it on the ground he tossed in into a grill. Would you have let your 2 year old daughter get into that grill? No. But you did more than just flag down the cop. You said the cop was pissed and started yelling. It doesn't bode well for him because cops don't like to feel that someone put one over on them. How old were these kids anyway? I'm sorry that you dimed him off. Live with it.

[woolldog]

16. wow, you should be ashamed of yourself

First for contributing to this stupid war on drugs.

If you had a problem with it (and why would you it wasn't hurting anyone) you should've manned up and talked to the kid personally. What good does it do to throw the kid in jail? Now he has a criminal record and is much more likely to become a career criminal....thanks to you.

[Chan790]

19. and he's now ineligible for federal financial aid for college if charged and convicted.

Including any plea deal, even if it includes expungement.

You done f**ked that kid.

[TheMightyFavog]

36. I thought they could regain eligibility by attending a treatment program.

[Chan790]

43. Not to my knowledge.

It's like the one thing they ask you on the FAFSA form that is not about finances..."Have you ever been convicted of a drug-related crime?"

I was told once that they can waive ineligibility for any felony except those involving drugs. They may have softened it in recent years but I know for a while, if you were caught with drugs...you were f**ked on financial aid.

[riderinthestorm]

61. No, he's still eligible for federal aid

You are eligible/ineligible according to the following:


Possession of Illegal Drugs
1st Offense 1 year from date of conviction
2nd Offense 2 years from date of conviction
3+ Offense Indefinite Period

Sale of illegal drugs
1st offense 1 year from date of conviction
2nd offense Indefinite Period
3+ Offenses Indefinite Period

If this is a first conviction (and I certainly hope its the kids first time getting caught, or else he's a dumbshit walking around with pot and/or paraphernalia), then he'd be fine.

[TorchTheWitch]

47. No, that kid done fucked his own self

He knows that drugs are illegal and was doing them anyway and right out in public. He also tried to conceal it for the police by lying and hiding the evidence. Sorry, but this kid made bad choices and fucked his own self however anyone feels about whether or not drugs should be legal. The kid is responsible for his own actions, and in this case he made the wrong choices knowing full well what he was doing and the possible consequences, and the blame for that lies solely on him.

[GermanDem]

57. Absolutely!

Better now than later! Maybe this will be a wake-up call for the kid. I have no tolerance for this kind of behavior, and the kid should be appropriately punished. Teenagers are old enough to know what they do has consequences. I have two teenage-daughters, so I know what I am talking about. What we can argue about is if the current legal consequences are indeed appropriate. But to me there is no question that what the kid did was wrong, and that it was the right thing to do to report what you saw to the cop. How do we know if they are "just" smoking pot? Maybe they are dealing, too? And how about meth, too? Heroin? On a playground? Believe me, I am all for the legalization of pot, but as long as it is illegal, you better stay away from it, especially as a teenager!

[sad sally]

17. Maybe he'll get locked up in the juvie for an appropriate number of months, or longer if you're

lucky, and you can support his stay thru your taxes. If you're really lucky, maybe he'll be locked up long enough to become a hardcore "criminal." Sorry, but imo your actions aren't going to make life any safer for you or your toddler.

[Populist_Prole]

18. Boo Hiss

Last edited Tue Sep 18, 2012, 02:17 PM - Edit history (1)

It's one of youths indescretions that just may hound him for the rest of his life as he applies for jobs etc.

[Chan790]

20. only 7 years on jobs.

It will probably keep him out of college though...you can't receive federal financial aid if you have a drug conviction.

[CherokeeDem]

60. No...it's not...

some companies claim to ignore anything over 7 years, but I'm in HR and I have seen applicants rejected due to older crimes, even when the company says they are not interested in anything past 7 years. I'm currently working for a non-profit that assists people with barriers to employment and I hear this everyday.

Very sad that we don't allow people to serve their time and then rejoin society without stigma.

[Chan790]

64. I was on the impression that most states didn't even require disclosure of anything over 7 years.

I mean I'd never hold it against anybody...I was all kinds of a fuck-up 7 years ago. I think most 20-somethings are, though most manage to never get arrested.

[hobbit709]

68. Like the guy that lost his job for something he did as a teenager in 1964?

[kurtzapril4]

21. Yes, you should feel bad about it.

What did you think was going to happen? So what IF your daughter had found it? If she is a toddler, you could have just thrown it away and not made a big deal out of it. What the hell does a toddler know about pipes? It would only be a big deal to them IF YOU MADE IT A BIG DEAL. And you did. Congratulations! You know, when I was younger, I went to a park with a friend and her toddler. I'm from inner city, Chicago. Older kids at the park were playing basketball and smoking pot, and when they left, they forgot their ganga pipe! The toddler found the pipe in his journeys around the park, and brought it up to us. All we said was...well thank you! Now go play! and the kid did just that....and it was never mentioned again.

The kid grew up just fine. He's now a stable, employed husband and father in the midwest. Even though he picked up a pot pipe at a park when he was 3.

I REALLY dislike helicopter parents. YOU wrecked a kids life. Congratulations.

[woolldog]

23. wait a minute

he wasn't scarred for life from finding a pipe at 3 y.o.?

[kurtzapril4]

35. apparently not, LOL!

He grew up into a really cool person. A liberal. And so are his kids! And grandkids.

Yep, he found a really pretty bowl in a public park when he was 3 and he SOMEHOW managed to skip that whole teenage drug taking thing. Imagine that!

[Brown_Boots]

27. Seems like the kid caused his own damage...

His choice.. His consequences...

OP was in the right

[kurtzapril4]

32. Yep. That's right.

And the OP had a choice to make, too. He/she could be a helicopter parent, OR he/she could have minimised the incident by not saying a thing about it, and just gone on with his/her life. The OP made the wrong decision. The OP made it a big deal. Believe it or not, the whole effing world does not revolve around toddlers, and the wants and needs of toddlers. The world has sharp corners. Parents need to cushion them...not the rest of us.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

22. but he didn't throw it on the ground

he threw it in the grill. You could have taken it out of there and thrown it in the trash.

[surrealAmerican]

25. ... and even if you didn't ...

... no toddler with an adult watching is going to be allowed to rummage in a barbecue grill. The kid, even in a bit of a panic, didn't do something that would endanger small children.

[IVoteDFL]

24. Dick move, IMO

I hope that kid doesn't need federal aid for college.

[kurtzapril4]

33. Total Dick move. n/t

[RiffRandell]

78. Total, total dick move.

Kid may have to get a lawyer (that his parents can't afford) do community service, has it on his record, yet you never saw him somoking it, he just threw away paraphenelia.

Nice. Like I said TOTAL DICK MOVE. And I have kids.

[Duppers]

50. + 1

Would you like someone to bust your kid to the cops and hurt his/her chances later in life?

Many smart kids have tried weed, kido. It's not the gateway drug you may think.


On edit: my comments were directed at the OP.

[hifiguy]

53. +1

Shitty thing to do. No one was getting hurt.

[Posteritatis]

62. Yep. Or any number of other things in the current climate.

He'll be barred for life from a lot of foreign travel, most forms of employment that enjoy "have you at any point in your life" type questions about drug offenses, etc. Permanent second-class status, because a passerby went out of his way to cause that to happen.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

66. yup. real dick move.

[Brown_Boots]

26. Good on you...

[tomm2thumbs]

46. yep, there's a time and place for everything

and that wasn't either

btw, welcome to DU

[Union Scribe]

48. +1

[Auggie]

28. You did what was right for you at the time ...

my suggestion: let it go and move on.

[REP]

29. How did the cop prove that particular kid threw it away?

Or that he didn't pick it off the ground and throw it away to protect tiny tykes like your kid?

By the way, cool story, bro.

[CBGLuthier]

31. Oh where would america be without the willing citizen narc?

[EastTennesseeDem]

37. Damn, man.

Just...damn.

[tonekat]

38. Great you defended your family

Happy now?

[Llewlladdwr]

39. Nice job narc. NT

[Brickbat]

40. Who said he got arrested and put in jail?

Especially in a small town, it's possible the cop just drove the kid home and handed him over to the tender mercies of Dad.

[rug]

42. Since Dad was out simonizing the Packard they had to throw him in jail.

[Brickbat]

45. Hee! Simonizing or no, the cop driving the kid home with a scare and a talk with the parents does

happen. I just can't figure out why all of a sudden everyone assumes JAIL, ARRESTED, CHARGED AND NEVER GOES TO COLLEGE.

[pipi_k]

52. Can't help but

agree, and especially if there was absolutely nothing IN the pipe to begin with.

How the hell do people take a thread of a story and weave such complicated horror stories with absolutely no proof whatsoever?

So...let's see...

He's arrested, put into a jail cell with hardened criminals and in the course of 12 hours or however long it takes for him to be processed and bailed out, he's sodomized 70 times by 10 toothless Bubbas, who also manage to teach him how to crack open safes and drive getaway cars.

After getting out of jail, he tries to get into college but is thrown out on his ass, after which he takes up with a woman named Nasty Nell and together the two of them wreak havoc across the country raping and pillaging and murdering the innocent citizens of our country.

He is caught in Texas, where he's executed by the state by a guy wielding a dull pizza knife.

Because some guy ratted on him twenty years before.

The End.


Or...maybe the kid has a problem, or is on the verge of having a problem that his parents aren't aware of, and they are good parents who get the kid into treatment before he fucks his life up (and the lives of all his family members) by killing himself with drugs. People might know, or know OF someone who did just fine even though they took drugs, but that doesn't always work out for everybody.

Either way is a possibility, I suppose.

It's just too bad people choose to shame someone based on assumptions rather than fact.

[littlewolf]

44. that is what I was thinking ...

1. small town ..

2. the cop didn't see it .. the OP did ...
did the OP make a signed statement
or just tell the cop ..?

3. no signed statement ... no case ..
cop can not PROVE it was the kids ...

4. good chance cop chewed kid out
or gave him over to parents ...

IMHO of course ....

[Honeycombe8]

41. No...I wouldn't have done that. The kid DIDN'T throw the pipe on the ground,

as you rationalize as one of the excuses.

I understand you feel bad, and you did what you thought was right, but...no, I wouldn't have gotten the kid in trouble over pot. What if he'd been drinking a beer? And he threw is can in the grill? Equally as illegal. But some would view as more acceptable (I would not; just the opposite).

I'm uneasy about ratting. You didn't actually see him smoking it, anyway. It's just paraphernalia that he may not have wanted to get caught holding.

[Duppers]

49. I'm a parent & would never

have done that....unless the kid looked under 14, perhaps, but nope, don't think I would even then.

I smoked a bit in my 20's & 30's, so I think you'd have busted me too!!

[Brickbat]

54. I'm sorry you're getting a big pile-on for this.

[HopeHoops]

56. Most likely he was released to his parents and got royally chewed out by them.

I doubt he'd do jail time over a pipe, but he'll probably have to be humiliated in front of a juvenile judge and his record will be purged when he's 18.

[Tom Ripley]

58. You should feel a lot bad about it

[bigwillq]

59. I would've just minded my business on this one.

Doesn't seem like the kid was a threat to anyone. Lots of "bad" things can happen in a park or on a bus or on a street or in a school or in a library where toddlers may be. That's life.

If the kid was a threat (was openly holding a weapon, making threats, trying to persuade a child to come with them), I would certainly try to do something, call the police, etc. But that doesn't seem the case here.

I would've just left it alone.

[Tsiyu]

63. And the War on Drugs gets another warm body

The For-Profit Prison industry thanks you heartily.

After all, indiscretions in one's teenage years SHOULD destroy your life forever.

Way to go!

[GoneOffShore]

70. Rec + 1

[dogday]

65. Congratulations on your crowning achievement

not

[Taverner]

67. I wouldn't have done that

IF your daughter found it, there are a number of things you could have said

I would have gone with "that's really dirty - don't pick it up!"

[Kali]

69. probably should have minded your own business

if your kid found this pipe, you could have told her not to play in bbq ashes or something.


getting the police involved is not generally the best way to do preventive drug education for teens

hopefully the sensible post above by littlewolf (#44) is how it all went down

[GoneOffShore]

71. Way to go - NOT.

But, but, but, think of the children.

You did not do well here.

[mythology]

72. I don't have a problem with what you did

The kid obviously knew drugs were bad as he tried to hide the pipe. Smoking drugs in public is a pretty stupid thing to do. Without being there, I don't know if I would have turned the kid in or not, but I don't think it's inherently wrong to do so.

[Walk away]

73. Wow! If somebody did that to me when I was a teen I would think they were...

kind of an asshole.

[alphafemale]

74. If he was white he'll probably get off with a scare and a warning.

Maybe a couple of hours in custody until someone comes and bails him out.

Kids that aren't white usually face a harsher consequence.

[Honeycombe8]

75. He won't get in serious trouble, I think. No direct evidence.

Even though there was a witness...it's just paraphernalia, and the kid can say he put something else in the grill....witness is mistaken. Whatever the kids' races.

The cop just picked them up to scare them, I think...maybe go talk to their parents, or take them to the station and call the parents down there.

Still, I wouldn't have gotten the kids in trouble over that. We all did stupid stuff when we were kids. It's a wonder I'm alive.

[Momgonepostal]

76. I have a teen who is/has been a drug user...

If she had been the one trying to stash the pipe, I would have wanted a bystander to rat her out, too. JMO, but as a parent of a user I think you did the right thing. I wish fewer people would turn a blind eye to things like that.

I don't know where you live, but in my city the juvenile hall is so overcrowded, you pretty much have to kill or rape someone to get sent there.

[Logical]

77. Jesus, I would be too embarrassed to admit I did this. I guess you wanted to be a hero?

[RiffRandell]

79. More like a total tool.