Out of work and majorly depressed

[Robyn66]

I have been out of work for almost 4 months now. (I know, lots of people have it worse) I spend my week looking for the four jobs I am required to apply for to receive unemployment which is getting harder and harder to do. year Don't get me wrong, I spend every day looking for work and would apply for 10 jobs a week if I could find them. There is practically nothing in my field out there but I have had two interviews (out of probably 100 applications) both went well and I just got my rejection letter from one of them yesterday. The other one I haven't heard from but I have a feeling I didn't get it so I slog along. I do go to church and the whole place has been praying for me, and everyone I know is telling me how good it was that I lost my job because it was a toxic environment.

Long story short, I worked for 8 years somewhere, ran the department with no support for one year with no support but had no complaints either. When it came time for me to get the job for real I was passed over and put out of work because they hired someones daughter in laws friend who didn't need benefits and took less pay than the minimum. So I killed myself for a year and my reward was being thrown out on the street. They gave me a letter of recommendation that made me look like the second coming, which was even more insulting.

So everyone is telling me God has plans for me, well what if I am just one of those good people that bad things happen to? I am selling jewelry and silver and anything I can just to get by and i am running out of that. And its worse because I know I am not getting what the jewelry is really worth.

I am just tired of telling me I have to be positive, like that is going to have any impact on whether or not I get a job. And I feel bad because who the hell am I to be depressed. I have a wonderful husband and kids, a beautiful house (that I hope I wont lose) and less reason to complain than most people but I still feel like crawling under the bed and dying.

[LaurenG]

1. I am so sorry Robyn66, losing your job is awful

I greived until I got another job so I know how hard it is. All I can say is I want you to find a job and I am wishing you all the best to get where you deserve to be.

[fizzgig]

2. being out of work sucks

i was unemployed for six months in 08 after i was let go from a terribly toxic job. i decided that i no longer wanted to work in journalism (i was a reporter for the local rag), but that was a terrible time to be making a career change.

i had a few interviews, but nothing that came to anything. i finally took a job at an outbound market research call center, now i'm second in command there. not glamorous, don't get killer pay, but i make enough to pay the bills and i've got health insurance and plenty of pto, so i can't complain too much.

it's ok to feel depressed and feeling stressed is more than understandable. wallow for a bit, cry if you need to, but try to keep at least some manner of positive outlook. putting out positive energy does no harm as far as i'm concerned. it sucks, but keep your chin up.

good luck to you

[lovemydog]

3. Robyn66, I know that feeling

So do my sister & brother, who have recently suffered long bouts of unemployment. I hope you find comfort from family & friends around who love you. I'd be a wreck without friends (who I see day to day) & family (with whom I talk on the phone). The value of friends is that we can discuss the challenges with family. Good luck, keep us posted.

[AngryOldDem]

4. You're not alone.

And sometimes the "always look on the bright side of life" philosophy just doesn't work. I'm fighting something very similar this week, so I know exactly what you mean.

I have no words of advice, but just please know that what you wrote resonates with a lot of us. You're not the only one who feels this way right now, and I hope that knowledge helps.

[Robyn66]

5. Thanks guys!

I do have some awesome (and tolerant) friends who have listened to me break down and rant and rave like a crazy person more times than I care to think about. Without them I don't know what I would have done. I am trying to keep a positive attitude but my lows are incredibly low. And what makes it even more fun is I live in the town I lost the job in so I am met with well meaning people who tell me how screwed over I was daily if I go to town events, so I don't. I stay home or away from town. I have missed the 4th of July festivities, I cant go to the Farmers market all because I worked for the town and everybody knows me and knows how screwed over I was. I mean there were stories in the newspapers about it. I am being such a whiny bitch about this I have to stop. I know I should be seeing someone but our insurance really sucks now so we cant afford for me to go to a therapist! You know, therapy should be part of unemployment benefits! But it would be cut rate crappy therapy I'm sure so forget that!

Anyway, thanks for being there!!!!!

[dixiegrrrrl]

10. "my lows are incredibly low."

What you know in your head
and
what you are feeling are 2 different things.

Your feelings are real and it does not matter "why".
If you are having really really low moods,
I echo Hope Hoops' suggestion.
Our identity and self esteem are very wrapped up in our jobs.

Lots of "fears,terrors and bewilderments" for quite awhile. Quite common, but yuccky all the same.

[RebelOne]

6. So sorry. I know the feeling.

I was laid off my job in 2010. I had been there for 13 years. The company downsized and I was among the ones who were shown the door. The company was generous in its severance package. I got 6 months pay. and when that expired, I was able to collect unemployment for a year. Fortunately, I was already collecting social security. I am 73 years old and there is nowhere I can find a job at my age. And I am not about to be a WalMart greeter. I am having to rely on only the social security check each month. But I know of others who are worse off, so I can't complain because at least I have a steady monthly income.

I hope your conditions improve soon. I know the feelings of hopelessness you are going through.

[turtlerescue1]

20. Have you access to Experience Works/SCSEP?

They do have an online website.

For my 48 months in the program it was my sole source of income, it is minimum wage and part time hours, and yes it was a challenge and an adventure.

Type of jobs: first was a librarian at a county library; then came a horrid few months as a actitities co ordinator at a senior center; most of the 4 years was a cook at a school kitchen and the last was as a mayor's assistant.

Worth a shot! Here in Ark, there is a waiting list, but still-its a thought.

[Robyn66]

22. Thank you

I checked Experience Works but I am only 46 so I dont think I will qualify.

[RebelOne]

27. Thanks, I will give it a try. n/t

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. My dear Robyn66...

I'm so sorry, sweetie...

Look around and see if there are therapists who work on a sliding scale. Sometimes they exist. I needed that years ago, and it really REALLY helped.

Or perhaps they're in school, and need to work a certain number of hours before they get licensed. That works too.

[HopeHoops]

8. Been there. Get some meds. Celexa is quite effective. Talk to the doc. Hang in there.

I tried suicide by vehicle (not a pretty story) but fortunately survived. I wrote a thank-you note to the state trooper who saved me by pulling me over. Trust me, the medications help. They can make you a BIT too happy, but at least they take the edge off. Celexa isn't the only one out there, but it is a common one and it is of the SSRI (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor) varieties. Just see your doctor and be totally frank about your feelings. Please.

[applegrove]

9. Try volunteering for a month at the exact type of firm you are looking for a job at. The exact

type job you want. Write a letter to the manager, tell them you'll work for free on a project for a month. Adds to your resume and you get references.

[Yavin4]

11. Fill Your Days with Volunteer Work

One, it will look good on your resume as it does count as work experience.

Two, it will give you something to do and improve your self-esteem.

Three, it's a very good networking tool. People will come to know you and your work ethic and will recommend you for jobs.

[LiberalEsto]

12. You have every right to be depressed and angry

It sounds like you were screwed badly.

Unfortunately, a lot of people who have jobs have no clue what to say to someone who is unemployed.
A job is part of a person's identify, and being without a job leaves you adrift. It pulls the rug, and the floor, out from under you.

What you might think about is connecting with other people who are out of work, because you all understand what everyone is going through.

It was a huge relief when I joined an unemployment support group last year. The group just disbanded, because the other person in this 2-person group started a new job this week.

I've been out of work for nearly four years, and because I am female and 60, and not in the best of physical health, I doubt that I will ever hold a job again. My husband has a job but he hates it, and is afraid to try changing jobs because the economy is so bad. He is angry about being stuck there, and resents my being home. I'm miserable being at home, unable to help with the household expenses. I've been seeing a therapist weekly to cope with depression.

Other than setting up this tiny support group, my church did nothing in the way of being supportive. Nobody calls or emails to see how I'm doing, so I've stopped going to services.

Please consider asking your minister or fellow church members if they can help you with getting a support group going, or if they know of one you could join.

Good luck!

[Robyn66]

13. You have all been so incredibly helpful!

Something I should also share is that I am Bi-polar and have been on Wellbuterine, Lamictal, and Topamax for about 10
years and I think I am still stable but I do know the depression is worse.

I have been afraid to commit to anything like volunteering because I have been afraid of anything getting in the way of an interview, but I do need to do this because staying home is doing a terrible job on me. I had breast cancer in 2008/2009 and I worked just about every day through chemo.

I will definitely look around and see if there is any volunteering I can do and I will call unemployment and ask them if they have any information on support groups or therapists.

I went to an event in the next town, but I stayed in one part of the place with my head down because I was afraid someone I knew would see me. I know there are problems.

[emilyg]

15. Hugs for you.

[dixiegrrrrl]

18. I am so glad you did share your history....

As a retired MH therapist, I was concerned, but knowing you are on meds, and have access to whoever prescribed them
(hopefully a MH doc) I am not as worried.

Btw..if you are volunteering and you get an interview, it is ok to take some time off for "personal reasons". Our agency used lots of volunteers, no one thought anything about someone having to change their schedule or not come in.
Usually you will know ahead of time and be able to give some notice, so it should not be a problem.

[turtlerescue1]

21. Ahhh so glad to see you post this.

Our sense of self worth is so connected to being a wage earner. As for the screwing you got, don't be hiding. If you can't overcome it in reality, play the part of having done it-and laugh inside while doing so.

THEN I have to ask: WHAT would you like to be working in/at? Go back to school if needed.
Don't take out a loan to do it.

If nothing else is available for volunteering, see if there is a church that needs cleaning.
A library that needs a reader for children's stories, and if there is no story hour, see about starting one. You are creative, use that tool

Are there parks nearby? Hmmm what could you do at a park?

Sure this post is for you, but it is also for the CommonUnity's benefit.

Also have to say: WAIT one day you retire, and you have no idea what to do to fill in those 24 hour days. Three months and I am not sure yet what to do with the time.

All these responses are healthy and that is wonderful. Big hugs from an old broad to you.



as the poster with the cat reads: HANGETH IN THERE!

[Robyn66]

23. What I love

Unfortunately my passion is what I was doing! I was a municipal planner. These jobs are few and far between. I have also been looking for Executive Assistant work which I am excellent at but have not even gotten an interview for. I have signed up for a couple of agencies so hopefully I can at least get some temp work. I am looking around the house for more stuff to sell and it looks like my only option is going to be my mothers engagement ring unless some miracle takes place although that is an option of last resort.

My difficulty about being in town is I am afraid of bursting in to tears if I see any of the people responsible or worse, the kid (and I mean kid) who got my job. I am involved with my church and I am going to do more with them. I am going to offer planning services as a volunteer to a local town one day a week and maybe that will develop in to something. Who knows. I am trying like hell but I still feel like my guts have been torn out.

[turtlerescue1]

24. Its that urge to work!

Sorry you're too young for SCSEP. Kept me semi-sane, maybe, maybe not.

Have no doubt I certainly understand selling everything. I left MN with not the largest rental truck but the next largest, cost was why. Had made a trip down to Ark. to bring the motor home and a utility trailer with all of my mate's big tools. Sometimes I have to laugh, out of nowhere something appears and I realize "Hey, I wonder what happened to....?" Dat's what happens when you fall for a nephew's line when you KNOW he has been a druggie for over 30 years, things just disappear. The motorhome, to keep it from being any more ransacked, it was parked in the woods on some new friends 30 acres of woods, yep, take a chainsaw to get it out. So, its gone as well.

What was left mostly small articles harder to "find", were all pawned to survive. The hardest was my mate's gold wedding band. But needed gas to get to work, and the paychecks well, they weren't what had been "normal"-no way to keep hocking the band and then paying to retrieve it, not when gas went up to over $4 a gallon, and I had 20+ miles one way.

So there is an understanding Robyn66. Of course now there is nothing left to pawn, 'cept my soul, and I'll die first. Never had to steal, commit fraud, but there were times when the idea did surface. Didn't have to sell my body on the streets, so survival is more about endurance.

As per the "incident", yeah me too. Only this one was outright belittling and bullying after.
Frankly with the last six years my personal thought was "I've had enough, period." HA, only in my dreams. I worked at City Hall, small town under 800! Took my tear stained face and intended to just leave, only had two months left with SCSEP, what the hey, hey? BUT my beloved Mayor stepped in before I got out the door. Wrote a "memo", yeah, a memo, covered my butt and left "guidelines". STILL every day a friend or two had to chide and tease me into going back "there". About three weeks ago I got kind of an apology. Hmmm.
About her working on her mouth...oh really. The ONLY way this old broad endured was HUMOR, what can she possibly say to me today that is meant to hurt? Will I be able to reply, "Its okay, God loves you too. Right now He has to love you for me as well." You KNOW that you have the experience the person who replaced you lacks, you also know that that will be an issue or two or three down the road someplace. Wait for it, then smile and do something you don't want to do, be KIND.

Take care. AND find the humor...its there.

[lovemydog]

35. Just a quick thought

People burst into tears occasionally around me. I give them a hug and tell them I know how they feel. I have a couple of close friends who I've occasionally burst into tears around. They don't mind. It kind of draws us closer.

I'm so glad you're getting good vibes & thoughts & advice here. You're not alone. Many I know are going through similar things now. Most everyone has been been through it at one time or another.

[Robyn66]

36. Yes I definitely like it here

I ge me my ass handed to me in GD. Apparently I cant communicate very well over there. And they are mean! Reminds me of high school! You all have been wonderful here!

[Flaxbee]

39. Can you also try places like eLance, oDesk, etc.? I think you can be

a virtual assistant. elance.com, odesk.com

There are a lot of people at both sites, and you have to build up a reputation, but you'd be working and building your resume.

Do you like to go thrifting? Garage sales? Do you have a hobby that maybe you can use to turn into some cash at eBay or somewhere like that?

You may need to really change gears, change focus.

I hope you feel better soon. It sounds as if you have supportive friends and family, which is very very good.

[Honeycombe8]

14. I've been unemployed, so I feel for you. PRAY, ask others to pray for you. You WILL find a job.

It's the WHEN that you don't know.

Four months is a long time. The longer you're unemployed, the harder it is to find a job, they say. OTOH, since four months have passed, maybe that means it's time. Maybe it means you'll be getting a job soon.

Stay in bed and cry, feel sorry for yourself, every now and then. You owe it to yourself. Then get up, get dressed, put your makeup on, and hit the job market again. Get enough sleep. Do some yoga, if you can.

It's hard work looking for a job. BE CONFIDENT! Don't look down in the dumps, or come across as desperate. You're a WINNER and a GOOD EMPLOYEE, even though you're temporarily w/o a job. Hide the fact that you're depressed, and no one will know. But don't be TOO happy when you interview, or that'll look fake. Be pleasant. Be CONFIDENT! Believe you have something to offer, really believe it, and make your case.

I was lucky. I got a job fairly quickly. And I'm over 50! If it could happen to me, it can happen to you! I got my Bible out, blew off the dust, and read the Bible. I actually got the call offering me the job, when I was reading the Bible. I also asked my Dad and his wife and their church to pray for me, which I think they did.

I am now very happy in my new job. I got a job past the age of 55. If it can happen to me, it WILL happen to you. Hang in there. It's hard to continue to believe in yourself when you're getting rejected, but work on that (that was hard for me). Your husband can help.

This bad time will pass. You will value your future jobs all the more because of it. And someone out there will get a wonderful employee when they hire you. Hang in there. (it doesn't hurt that the economy is getting better) Let us know!

[Rowdyboy]

16. Just don't forget that you have friends here who support you....

DU is my only source for rational intellectual friends because I live in rural Mississippi

[tjwmason]

17. It's a horrid experience

and there's no way that we can make it any better for you.

From my own experience staying positive is the hardest part, but can also be the most critical. It's very easy to tell you to stay positive and I know it can feel like a slap in the face every time.

All I can say is that people can and do get through this, in the meantime we're all behind you.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

19. A little advice from the guy who's been there....

Depending on your skill set, find an organization that can use your help and start working for them on a half time (and free) basis. It will do wonders for your mental health and will do wonders for them, as well. It's also something that you can put on your resume and (you never know) there might be someone involved with that organization who knows someone, etc. I also gives you a chance to keep using and developing your skills until a job comes along. Look upon this as a chance to become ever more skilled at your job, because you don't have the time constraints of employment keeping you from professional development.

[hedgehog]

25. One thing that may help - (that I wish I had done) is to set a certain time for job hunting,

then let it go for the rest of the day and do other things - housework as needed but also something for yourself- even if it's only a walk around the block. It's so easy to sit down at a computer and be tied to it all day, but in reality you're only doing productive work for a couple hours at best. Check your contacts, check your web sites, then go do something else!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

26. Don't let em tell you you are a filthy sinner.

I stopped going to church and quit Christianity altogether because I got horribly depressed when some half assed preacher who doesn't know me would tell me I'm a sinner, from the pulpit.

Christianity is a death cult. I asked the ministers of two large churches to give me a job because I needed a job. I didn't want charity. I wanted a JOB. They said they couldn't do it. I believed that God works through people on earth. If they were so damn greedy that they couldn't give me a job, helping them spread their message, then god does not exist.

Don't let the Christians put you down. It took me a lot of courage to walk away. The congregation was nice but the preachers want money and power. So if the congregation is nice to you and you feel supported, stay connected with them.

Nobody should put up with the lie that is Original Sin and the fake solution, Substitutionary Atonement.

[turtlerescue1]

28. Part of me says don't respond, but the other part demands

I say I am so sorry for your horrid experiences. Had I endured them likely my feelings would match your's precisely. Please do not judge all us Christians by those who are hate filled, self righteous and tend to condemn. That is not the way the training manual teaches.

A good pastor is a gentle shepherd. Not an abusive orator.

But did you ever find work? I hope so.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

29. nope.

I will not live long enough to go to hundreds of churches and ask them to give me a job. I have a good education (three college degrees) and plenty of skills.

However, since the starting premise of Christianity is original sin, and substitutionary atonement as the answer to the problem of original sin, I am convinced that first of all you have to have low self-esteem to believe that you are a sinner just because you are breathing. That is not respect for oneself. That is letting somebody else, or something else, an ancient book with primitive superstitious ideas in it, rule your life and destroy your self-esteem.

I had the strength to get up and walk away. But just barely.
Christianity is a cannibalistic death cult.

I refuse to have anything to do with a religion whose symbol is an ancient Roman torture device that people proudly wear around their necks. YUCK!!!

[Robyn66]

30. Well this took an unintended turn

I am so sorry you have gone through this. It sounds just terrible. I know that there are some religious sects that in my opinion very unkind and frankly screwed up.

I will say to you what I said to my brother who has almost exactly the same opinion of religion because a stupid minister told him God didn't hear his prayers because he didn't believe strongly enough. Brilliant man!

If you can put the mystical part of Christianity aside and look at the philosophy of Jesus Christ, you can see the potential for good that Christianity has. I have had my bad experiences with bad churches. I was declared a "witch" by one and they wanted me to submit to some special cleansing prayer service thing which I absolutely wouldn't do. (that was the last time I saw my sorry ass) and I wasn't back to church for about 10 years.

Then we moved and I was told about the Congregational Church in our town, which I still didn't go to, until my mother in law had a cancer relapse and was dying. In a moment of weakness I came in off the street and the entire and I mean entire congregation just embraced me like you cant imagine and the pastor was the kindest person who helped me through a lot of things. Plus, just having a bout of breast cancer myself I was heading in for reconstructive surgery. These people didn't know me from a hole in the wall and they scheduled meals to bring our family and people to come sit with me.

Currently we give monthly free suppers to anyone- no questions asked and they don't sit through a sermon either. We just make sure everyone is fed and take donations if offered but there is no pressure, the point is to feed people. We have a food pantry that is looking for more space because we have more food than we can handle, and our kids are always looking for opportunities to volunteer.

We just had a new minister start and he was the head of an Easter Seals chapter and a community organizer who figured out how to get countless people through the system and get services, food and safe places to live.

As far as my situation goes, they have all been very supportive and have been very clear that if we need ANYTHING we just have to let them know. No one has ever said anything about my deserving what happened to me.

So even if the rituals and symbols are repellent there is a philosophy at heart that CAN work and CAN be very positive. I am so sorry your experience has been so negative, and I completely respect your right to believe or not believe what you choose, but I want you to know there are good Christians out there.

Take care of yourself!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

31. I know some good Christians.

They usually have nothing to do with a church.

That is fine that they are doing good things. They could do all those good things without being Christian. So there is no moral reason to use a church to do good things. It's not necessary. You can be a secular humanist and do good for people (see Bill Gates, philanthropist and atheist). They could feed people with a freestanding non-profit organization.

However, Jesus never existed in the historical record. The only reason Christianity is so popular is that Emperor Constantine became a Christian and wanted to unify his empire with everyone in the same religion.

There is nothing unique about Christianity. It's a mix of ancient pagan cults. None of the ideas in Christianity are new.
"Love your neighbor as yourself" has been around for thousands of years. Christianity is a total failure in dealing with the 21st century and the changed attitudes. Women and slaves are chattel. We have moved beyond that. Ministers try to make Christianity hip and it will never deal with reality because it's the ramblings of a bunch of illiterate superstitious goat herders who knew nothing of science or inquiry. There is no place in the Bible that says you should be intelligent, learn things and ask questions. On the contrary, you are to be obedient or Gawd will zap you out of existence and send you to hell. Of course you don't have a body in Hell, if you're dead, so how can they torture you?? Never got an answer.

And the Christian Bible is a complete and total mess. I took a course in Old Testament in college. I went to a Presbyterian university where the professors in the religion department had gone to Harvard and Princeton. I found out what the Council of Nicaea was ordered to do--basically throw out reincarnation and keep the racist, sexist, authoritarian stuff to control people.

There is nothing in Buddhism that says "Oh Siddhartha Gautama said we should kill our disobedient sons, or that we should slay or enemies, or that people who don't like his preaching will go to hell, so we need to ignore that part of the scriptures."

I will have nothing to do with a religion with a hateful & inconsistent Jesus that they use to justify their actions. Jesus is a real psycho in the Gospels. They were not written when he lived. They were written 50-100 years after he died. The only parts of the Abrahamic religions that I can tolerate are Reform Jews. They are pretty sensible.

I went to a Congregational Church in a wealthy part of town. I felt totally isolated because it was like a social club that I was not part of. I joined the choir and felt like everyone was in a country club that I would never be invited to. Yes, they were liberal. The only church I will set foot in is the Unitarian Universalist church, because they have no creedal test and the vast majority of the people there are atheist, agnostic or pagan or just asking questions.

They have nothing to do with Christianity except as far as studying it as one part of their studies, and not using it for their whole theology.

www.uua.org

[mysuzuki2]

32. I don't know your background or location but I have a suggestion.

I worked for Social Security for 31 years. It was frequently a PITA (hey if it was fun we'd have to pay THEM) but all in all it was meaningful work and a better place to work than most. If you want to apply, skip the OPM and internet websites. Send a resume and cover letter to your local office or offices. I know from experience that most offices keep them on file. Federal hiring is a bit goofy. Frequently the authority to hire comes down unepectantly with a short time frame. SS offices are often quite understaffed so managers want to keep a good pool of potential hirees on file so ther don't miss out.. And in my experience SSA was a very family friendly place to work. Good luck.

[Robyn66]

37. Thank you !

I will do it

[Major Nikon]

33. Please don't let your depression become a self fulfilling prophecy

It sounds like you're doing well so far with trying to keep things in their proper perspective. Just remember that what you're going through is one of the toughest things to do for many people. Most people identify themselves by their occupation. Losing a job and not being able to find another readily can cause a feeling of losing one's identity. This is a very common thing that can be treated quite effectively via a psychologist, psychiatrist, and in many cases even your family doctor. There are even generic drugs which are quite effective in treating short term depression.

[GoCubsGo]

34. Been there, doing that.

Although, I am way past being eligible for unemployment. I was at my job for 20 years. Today, I got the latest reject letter after having gotten a reject call from the same agency a couple of days ago. Slapped in the face twice. Yippee. I also got a letter stating that since I haven't contributed to my pension for 5 years, it will no longer accrue interest. It's been one hit after another. At least people are caring enough to tell you to be positive, etc. (I do agree with your point about it not helping find an opening, however.) Most people I know here, particularly the ones who got laid off with me, don't even bother to talk to me any more, or ask how I'm doing. I'm sure they avoid me so that they don't have to face all the discomfort of knowing they were the ones lucky enough to catch all the breaks, and it's not their lives that are the ones that got devastated. Fuck 'em.

I don't know what field you are in, but if you haven't visited Indeed.com, you should check it out. It's one of those jobs aggregators like Career Builders or Monster, only it's better. It allows you to search by location and key word. I am in a field where it's hard to find jobs, too. I had weeks when I couldn't find any jobs for which to apply, and woman at the UE office didn't hold it against me. I think most of them understand your situation, especially given the current jobs market. I don't think they will hold it against you if you can't apply for four a week. And, if they do make an issue of it, apply to some that are somewhat related, even if you don't stand a chance at getting them. Anything to keep them happy.

BTW, 2 interviews out of 100 applications is actually pretty good for right now, so don't take it as some kind of personal failure. And, don't be surprised if that second interviewer doesn't contact you. Many of them don't offer the courtesy of a reject letter, even after an interview. I am sorry you are having to go through this shit, too. I know how much it sucks. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this hell will end a lot quicker for you than it has for me.

[linux80386]

38. i understand

been down that road before.