When you were a little kid what things did you not understand or misunderstand.

[texanwitch]

I was about 5 years old and and went with my Grandfather to a Western Union office.

I couldn't understand how they could wire money thru a wire.

[turtlerescue1]

1. Didn't understand much period.

But about six or seven went with mom to the butcher shop, the old kind, and I truly thought the sign said "Lion Chops", and asked. Nope, it was LOIN of course. DUH? So much for being a spelling whiz eh?

[boston bean]

2. A PuPu Platter...

don't ask....

[trof]

8. My daughter ordered this every time in a Chinese restaurant.

When she was little she thought it was REALLY funny.
Just crack herself up.
POO-POO Platter!

[boston bean]

9. I was mortified at the thought of it!

[blueamy66]

90. lived on Oahu for a few years as a kid....

Dad used that term til the day he died....scared some of my buddies in Arizona....I still use the term to this day.....

[Manifestor_of_Light]

3. Docket call in court.

My dad was a lawyer, and he would get up early and go to the courthouse to 9 o'clock docket call.

That is where the judge reads a list of cases set to be heard that day, either for a motion or a trial, and the lawyer announces "Ready" or "I need a continuance".

They do this every day in criminal court, because of the case load. Generally in civil court, they read the trial docket at 9 o'clock on Monday, for the rest of the week.

The list is called the "docket".

I thought that because it had the word "dock" in it, that he had to go to a dock. Like stand on the end of a pier.

[rrneck]

4. I thought people kept growing their entire lives.

And didn't understand the concept of death. So I figured George Washington would have to be a hundred feet tall.

[pipi_k]

5. The baby doctor

Our family doctor had a practice in a real cool old Victorian house. Up the stairs near the entrance was, my mother told us, "the baby doctor". I always wondered how a baby could be a doctor.

Hotdogs. I associated them with those weiner dogs and wondered which end of the hotdog (which must have been the weiner dog's tail) had been closer to the dog's ass. So I cut them both off and refused to eat them. I mean, let's face it...they do look like assholes. Anyway...my parents never knew WTF was up with that.

Egg yolks. Could not eat them. Still can't, even though I know they are NOT liquid chicken. Hey...baby chicks were yellow, right? Liquid chicken. I rest my case.

Strangely enough, I don't recall ever wondering where babies came from when I was very young. In fact, I didn't give it much thought until the 5th grade when I figured it must have something to do with boys and girls being near each other. I sat next to a rather objectionable boy, and I was always careful not to touch him or let him borrow my pencils or anything. I was afraid it would somehow result in a baby in my desk when I got to school the next day. Or maybe his desk. I was never quite sure how that would work....

[elleng]

6. 'What's wrong with MINERS? Why can't they buy beer?'

Saw a sign in grocery story long time ago; was with sitter, after Mom had passed on. Sitter was of German descent, and surely didn't understand either the issue or the spelling.

[elleng]

7. FLEA MARKET!

Who wants to BUY THEM???

Garage sale???

[Archae]

10. Yard sale?

[trof]

11. I got words confused.

'Shoulders' for 'soldiers'.
'Germs' and 'Germans'.
This during WWII.


The first time I saw the word 'Pennsylvania', the best I could come up with was 'Penny-stein-villa'.

[monmouth]

15. My Irish immigrant great-aunts were "in service" which I thought meant the military...LOL..n/t

[Iggo]

64. What DID it mean?

If I may show my ignorance.

[From The Ashes]

75. it means that they were servants.

like the old PBS series, 'Upstairs, Downstairs'

[Iggo]

76. Oh hey! That makes sense.

Thanks.

[monmouth]

81. They were "maids" in the wealthy homes. Servants were considered "in service."

[Iggo]

82. I did not know that.

Thanks for the info.

[monmouth]

87. You're very welcome.."In Service to Others" I believe is the saying..n/t

[Tobin S.]

12. I thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.

I thought human females peed out of their butts.

I thought my grandpa's chewing tobacco was like gum. Boy was I in for a surprise when I got a hold of some when I was 5.

I didn't understand that a glowing red stove burner was hot until I put my hand on one.

[trof]

13. 'Ipsy dipsy, soda cracker. Does your granny chew terbacker?'

Yes my granny chews terbacker, ipsy dipsy soda cracker.'
One of my childhood forms of 'eeny-meeny'.
Last one out is IT!

[Iggo]

65. Other than the chewing tobacco, same here!

[Nikia]

14. I did not understand why "sleeping together" was such a scandalous thing

I mean maybe the man's wife ended up sleeping with someone else because they were watching a boring movie together and just happened to fall asleep. Things like could happen, you know.
I had no idea that it was a euphemism for having sex.

[grilled onions]

16. The Sign That Said...

No Outlet. I was convinced no one living near by could not plug anything in, like toasters,electric coffee makers, radios etc!
Also Post No Bills. I could not understand why anyone would post "dollar" bills on a construction site wall!

[Gidney N Cloyd]

17. I assumed the turn signals on the dash told my dad which way to turn.

They always started blinking before he turned so obviously the car knew how to get us home.

[Arugula Latte]

42. I thought that too.

We were ahead of our time in that pre-GPS era!

[Tom Ripley]

18. When I heard about "gorilla" fighters during the Vietnam war

Hey, it was the jungle and I had not seen the word "guerilla" in print yet. I just pictured big monkeys wearing berets and carrying machine guns.

[murielm99]

39. My son thought that, too.

We were listening to the radio, and there was something on the news about guerilla fighters in the streets. He said, "Hear that, Mom? Gorillas!"

I just said, "Yes, Tim."

I think he was about four.

[Tom Ripley]

41. LOL! That was the same age I was when Huntley and Brinkley were putting fantastic images in my head

Tell him that I said "hi"

[hifiguy]

86. Glad to know I wasn't the only one.

I had a hell of a time trying to figure out how gorillas could be in an army though I thought it was a pretty cool idea.

[myrna minx]

91. Me too! I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one.

[RiffRandell]

19. If you swallowed a watermelon seed it would grow in your stomach.

That tormented me until I cried about it and my Mom told me it wasn't true.

[HopeHoops]

20. What a pussy was. It just looked like a slit (playing doctor).

I know ALL about it now, but back then it was a mystery. Girls had it easy - it's a bud with a couple of almonds under it. It's a lot harder for guys to figure it out.

[becca da bakkah]

21. I Used To Get "Wedding" And "Welding" Mixed Up

Riding with my parents in the car, passing a mechanics garage with a welding sign in front, I used to wonder.....WHY would anyone want to get married in such a greasy, filthy, smelly place!? The bride would get her beautiful gown all dirty!

Still...I guess it was the right place for the honeymoon escape car!

Another was "Speed Limit" signs. I thought that was the name of a town, and it was 35 (or 45 or whatever) miles away! Or "Not A Thru Street". I thought that meant they hadn't FINISHED with it; it wasn't through!

Yeah, I was a weird kid!

[oftheforest]

23. I was also confused with "Speed Limit' signs.

I never understood why we never got there.

[Broken_Hero]

22. The word

"Whatchamacallit"

The way my dad would use it mainly was when he was trying to remember a family's name, or persons name...."You know who I mean, the Whatchamcallits"

I would always sit there thinking, Damn...That Whatcchamcallit family is hugh!!!

[Aristus]

24. The road signs that read "Do Not Pass."

And I wondered why we always passed the sign...

[Baitball Blogger]

25. My little sister would say, slubbit up your butt.

For, "shove it up your butt."

When I was a kid, up to the age of 48, I really believed that crime does not pay.

On edit: Oh, and I absolutely took everything literally. No concept of sarcasm when it was coming from an adult because of the abject obedience instilled in a Catholic upbringing.

[HipChick]

26. I couldn't figure out where babies came from

I thought planes brought them, because it would seem that storks would have dropped them

[Populist_Prole]

27. Couldn't understand how gas pumps at gas stations could hold so much fuel to fill so many tanks

I thought the bottom stanchion below the rotating meters held all the gas. Even at 5 or 6 years old I was thinking critically and analytically.

Oh, another one, and I later found out my mother thought the same thing when she was young: When I was in my very early years of elementary school, I honestly thought teachers were kind of automatons that sorta' lived there at the school. Like we went home, they just faded into the closets or cinderblocks or whatever. I was surprised the first time I saw one of my teachers in a restaurant. My first thought was: "Teachers eat??!!"

[Tom Ripley]

28. Someone once said the first time a child sees his or her teacher out in public , it is the child's

first celebrity sighting

[Populist_Prole]

79. Good one!

[sarge43]

29. Adults

When I was a youngin', I thought they were strange. Over 60 years my opinion hasn't changed much.

[Iterate]

30. Easter Seals

The March of Dimes for polio made sense even to a five year-old, but Easter Seals? Those little stamps aren't money...maybe there's medicine on the back in the glue.

On a longer scale, I gave up physics and engineering and such because trying to understand people seemed the ultimate difficult problem. It still is.

[Amaril]

31. "Bridge freezes before road surface"

My kid brain always read that with "before" meaning "in front of" (like "standing before the king&quot vs. "sooner than". I can still remember the aha! moment when I finally got it.

[grntuscarora]

32. The song "Winter Wonderland"

has a line "In the meadow we will build a snowman, and pretend that he is Parson Brown," which as a kid I misheard as "...and pretend that he is parched and brown." I thought it was kind of strange, but sang it "parched and brown" for years. Odd that no one bothered to correct me

[Tom_Foolery]

33. I was always confused by "Hark the Herald Angels Sing"...

I thought it was about a guy named Harold.

[becca da bakkah]

46. Or The Line From The Christmas Carol, "Silent Night".....

...."And lead us not into Penn Station!"

[Populist_Prole]

51. From 'Jingle Bells'

"bells on cocktails ring, making spearmints bright"

[BrendaBrick]

68. From Rudolph

as he shouted out with fleas.

[nolabear]

71. And mytake on Silent Night

"Round young version" I had no idea what a virgin was. I couldn't figure out a version of what, but I just figured whomever wrote the song knew something I didn't.

[Populist_Prole]

78. It was a mystery to me too

When I found out what it really said and meant, I was like "what stupid-ass, inane lyrics"

[LeftishBrit]

99. My friend thought that God's name was Harold..

because in the Lord's Prayer, it says 'Harold be Thy name'!

[mucifer]

34. I thought in olden days everything was in black and white. Because there was no

color in old movies and tv shows, I thought the world had no color back then. I was born in 1965.

[pipi_k]

37. HAH!

So did I!

I was born in 1952.

[Populist_Prole]

44. I honestly thought the same thing, that the whole world was in black and white "in the olden days"

Now in my great grandparent's days, not only was the world in black and white, but everyone walked/moved with a speedy jerkyness, and somehow, loud ragtime piano music permeated the whole atmosphere.

[eppur_se_muova]

85. But it's true ! As explained in this documentary ...

[benld74]

94. I give answers like that to my 10 year old sometimes, just to get a reaction of of her,,,

which usually goes something like this, 'NO IT DIDN'T!"

[WolverineDG]

35. I thought the first two words to "California Dreamin'" were

Mona Lisa Brown.



I also thought it was the law that a couple be married for an entire year before they had a baby. And that the bride married the "broom."

[Rowdyboy]

36. My cousin and I had an argument about where babies come from. I said from kissing, he said it just

happened randomly to married people. When I found out the truth I was horrified-how could the Pilgrims have done something like that?

[OmahaBlueDog]

38. Patents Pending

I'd see this on various toys.

I had thought that "pending" was some kind of industrial process. I had no idea what it was, but I simply assumed that there was a large factory with big smokestacks where the important, mysterious industrial process called "pending" took place. "Patents" was obviously the world's largest "pending" company.

[AsahinaKimi]

40. When I was very young... I was confused

because all my Chinese~American classmates were bilingual and I only spoke English. I didn't know how they could speak in another language..and I didn't know it, after all, to me as a kid..I looked like them. So I went home and asked my mom, "Am I Chinese?" and she said "No Honey, you are Japanese and Korean" and she took down a world globe and showed me where those places were.

I asked her how come I didn't speak another language like the other kids. She said, "When you grow up you can speak as many languages as you want!" My parents refused to teach me their native tongues and wanted me to learn English, because this was the language of the United States.

I didn't learn Japanese till much later in life. (and I am still learning!)

[frogmarch]

43. fired=burned alive

When I was about 4, I thought that when someone was fired from a job, they were thrown into a fire and burned alive.

[Iterate]

45. Some would have it that way.

Have you ever though about writing for TV?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

59. holy crap!

[grntuscarora]

47. Remembered another one.

Every month my parents would have serious "grown-up" talks when my Dad payed the bills. They would shake their heads and mutter darkly about being "in the hole again."
I literally had nightmares of my parents, my sister, and me being tossed in a deep dark pit.

[murielm99]

48. I though elbow grease was a real product.

I pictured it in a tin, like paste wax. Once, when my dad said, "Use a little elbow grease," I said, "We don't have any!"

I thought sealing wax was a product used to polish ceilings - ceiling wax. I supposed that my mom was too short or too busy to wax our ceilings.

[Populist_Prole]

49. Just remembered another from when I was about 5

My father was taking me fishing, which I looked forward to with much anticipation. On the way though, he stopped at someplace in town ( bank or post office, I don't remember ) and told me to just wait in the car and that he'll be back. Well to my disappointed 5 year old mind, he might as well just said: "We're not going fishing, again, ever". When I expressed disappointment, he said "I have to drop these off, or they're going to come and turn off our lights".

At that point I literally thought, and pictured this: We're all in our house, watching TV or whatever, and then some big sedan screeches to a stop in front of our house. Out come pouring several grim looking men in black trench coats and hats, and then they enter the house and rapidly and wordlessly fan out throughout the house and literally turn off every lamp, wall switch etc, and leave just as fast, leaving us all in the dark. I truly thought that.

[DevonRex]

50. I thought cats were girls and dogs were boys.

Made sense to me. Cats are pretty and clean. Dogs are kinda rough looking and messy.

[Populist_Prole]

52. Only one rec? This is the best thread on the net I've seen in days

What a crack-up. I'm laughing so hard my eyes have tears in them.

[LNM]

53. My mom told me our family doctor "delivered" me.

WTH does that mean? He "delivered" me from the hospital to my parents house in his car?

[yewberry]

54. Department store mannequins were people who'd been to Hell, and this was their punishment.

I used to hide in the centers of the circular racks whenever we went to a department store, thanks to my brother. That same dear brother told me that bees lived in electrical outlets. "Here, you can touch them!"

Also, remember when everyone got TV Guide? When there was no program scheduled for a time slot, it always read, "To Be Announced." I thought that "To Be Announced" was a show. I even watched it once, didn't like it, and never watched it again!

[texanwitch]

58. Mannequins always made me feel creepy.

Remember the old Twilight Zone episode where mannequins would come to life after the store closed.

I thought that really happened.

How many nightmares did Twilight Zone give little kids.

[caraher]

55. I heard a lot about "mixed marriages..."

I thought that meant when people with different hair colors wed.

[caraher]

56. Fire drills

In kindergarten I was told we were going to have a fire drill. The buzzers went off and we all marched outside, and I was looking all over for the drill. I expected to see some huge vehicle with an enormous drill bit whose job was to drill a hole in the side of the building to let people out who were trapped by the fire...

I also thought that once you attained a certain age (somewhere in the teen years) you automatically became a hippie. (I turned 5 in 1969.)

A neighbor kid would periodically ask whether Alice Cooper was a boy or a girl. He always got me on that one, because I figured that it would only be an interesting question if Alice were male, but since it's obvious that he was trying to trick me clearly Alice is female. DOH!

[FloridaJudy]

84. A "Broken Home"

Was a house where the roof had split in two, or something like that. I felt really sorry for kids who were from "broken homes" because I thought they'd get really cold and wet when it rained.

[DeeDeeNY]

57. When I heard that someone got fired

I was about 5 and thought the person had been set on fire.

[Pool Hall Ace]

60. I used to think that only men were allowed on the Isle of Man.

I mean, why else call it that, right?

[chknltl]

61. Was in utter disbelief that our German landlady hadnt heard of Christmas.

(btw this was in a very small town in Germany back in the early 60s I was maybe 6 or 7) She spoke only very little English and my mom spoke very little German. She brought us a plate of German cookies, (she was the town baker), it was my first taste of Lebkuchen which I later found out is a traditional cookie popular in the early winter. Being polite, I thanked her for the cookie and said Merry Christmas to her. She got this puzzled look and said "Weihnachten?" And I said, "No C h r i s t m a s! very slow. When it appeared that she still wasn't getting it I wrote the word 'Christmas' on a piece of paper and showed it to her. She kept smiling at me and said; "Ja, Weihnachten". I walked away defeated and utterly dumbfounded, who would have thought that the Germans didn't know what Christmas was.

Oh for those of you who do not speak German, 'Ja Weihnachten' roughly translates to 'Yes, Christmas'. Furthermore, that little town I was in was just a few miles away from Nurnberg, a city which calls itself the Christmas capital of the world. It is somewhat of an acquired taste but try a German Lebkuchen cookie should you get the chance. I prefer the ones with the chocolate coating myself.

Lastly, should you be ghosting through here Misshonneychurch, I miss ya and hope things are going well. Here is a 'prost' to you and yours.

[Tom_Foolery]

62. My dad worked in an aluminum "plant"...

and when he'd go to work, I would envision that he worked inside a giant tree.

[BrendaBrick]

63. One time as a kid...

I accidentally swallowed a couple of watermelon seeds and so I thought - hmmm - as long as they are in my stomach...why not eat some dirt, drink some water and stand in the sunshine to see if I could get watermelons to grow?

I think I gave it about an hour...

[BrendaBrick]

67. IN 1966

when I was going into first grade in Miami, I kept hearing all this talk about *busing*. I didn't understand it. So, when the first day of school came...all I wanted to do was go look at this *bus* everyone was making such a fuss about...and saw nothing different.

Didn't occur to me at the time that it could be anything else.

[vanlassie]

69. My dad used to tell my mom "Well, I'm off to the rat race!" in the morning.

One day we heard my son tell his friend "my Grandpa races rats."

[BlueJazz]

70. I'd see signs in women's stores that said "Women's hose on sale"

...and I'd think, why do they sell garden hose in a clothes store??
..and why is it just for women?

[nolabear]

72. My granddaddy told me that if I kissed my elbow I'd turn into a boy.

I still kind of believe that.

[RagAss]

73. I was 4 in 1963...

and guess how I thought Presidents left office and new ones came in ?

[nolabear]

74. Not me but my sister thought my father could magically change the channel.

Our first remote control. She was prety little, five or so. He would dramaticcaly flourish at the TV and secretly push the button. She was convinced he had powers. Of course at the ripe old age of ten I was smug about being in on the deception.

[Lionessa]

77. Mine is long story, so I'll tell you one of my DDaughter's. Didn't get why kitties having sex was

against the law.

Kitty porn. She was in her teens before she connected kiddy(kitty)porn with pedophilia, which she did know what it was being a well informed, intelligent gal.

[Thegonagle]

80. I remember wondering if the state of Kansas really had no color,

as depicted in the "Wizard of Oz."

[FloridaJudy]

83. I once overheard my parents

Talking about hydrocephalus or "water on the brain", and thought it could happen to anyone any time. I was terrified my brain would fill with water, and my head would explode like an over-filled water balloon. It sounds funny now, but it scared the snot out of me as a child.

[Still Blue in PDX]

88. The PSA on TV that said that all aliens had to register.

Totally freaked me out. Between movies, DC comic books and my mom's short story books that I got into as soon as I learned to read, the only aliens I knew about were from other planets.

[Rambis]

89. Thought everyone shot on TV and the movies

died and that they were criminals sentenced to death.

[Shrek]

95. Glad I'm not the only one

[Rambis]

96. Cheers

Seems odd no one ever told me so what are we supposed to think. My kids know because I told them

[felix_numinous]

92. Toilet Water

I found a little bottle in a closet one time when I was little and when I worked out the letters I was horrified. I didn't like the smell,and I was sure I would get in trouble for finding it. I finally got up the courage to ask--but until then that bottle haunted my sense of reason.

[YankeyMCC]

93. I was Shocked!

When I learned we actually had to pay for water

[blueknight]

97. i thought

when my older sister turned on WSAI in cincinnati , that the beatles, the stones, elvis,etc, were all at that radio station playing music that day. had no idea they were records

[Ikonoklast]

98. I was appalled when I saw my Dad drinking a cup of coffee while driving to work one evening.

I was certain that he would get arrested and thrown in jail, because 'drinking while driving' was illegal.