Class is now in session..."How Clients Will Fuck You Over 101." Please be seated for today's lesson.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

1). I told the client "This is 8 hours worth of work, so that's $70 times 8, $560, but I will charge you $500.

2). They said "great, thanks."

3). I said "I will also do the work up front, let you test it, see if you like it, then I will finish it and you can pay me then, rather than half up front, half when I'm done as we usually do."

4). They said "great."

5). I did the work last weekend and asked for a check on Monday morning. I was told they could probably do a check "this week." I said "That would be great, I'd appreciate it."

6). I called the client today at 1:30. No check (they were supposed to call me so I could go pick it up). He said "I'll call and find out what's going on."

5). It's 7 PM. No call back, no check. That means I'll be calling him again bright and early Monday morning.

6). From now on, no more special favors...half up front, half when I'm done, just like everyone else.

Class dismissed.

[Turbineguy]

1. You too eh????

[HipChick]

2. I waited 3 months for a cheque once, and then when I got it..it bounced

[riderinthestorm]

4. Aren't you an IT guy? Can't you pull their website or something?

Maybe I'm misremembering who you are....

Really sorry to hear this.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

6. The only thing I can do is withhold the work they haven't paid for

That's why I can never allow them to pay when the work is finished again...back to half up front, half when I'm finished

[petronius]

5. I remember that restaurant! The food was terrible, the waitstaff was

surly and incompetent, and I saw a rat run through the door into the kitchen. I just can't think of the name - remind me, will you, so I can get my review onto Yelp?

Seriously, that really sucks. Hope you get some resolution Monday...

[Amerigo Vespucci]

7. If only it were that easy

THIS client wasn't a restaurant. I AM going to file away your idea for the next time one of my restaurant clients steps out of line, though.

[elleng]

8. That's the way to do it.

No special favors.
(I worked for govt. and firms, and never had to deal with that, and when I recently retained counsel, that's how he/we handled it.)

[mrmpa]

9. I worked for a company for a few months..........

a courier service. We got paid every Friday. If you weren't at the bank by 9:15 a.m. your check would bounce. I'm not kidding, 9:16, 9:17, etc. it would bounce. You could try again Saturday, but usually by Tuesday it was good. Why he didn't make payday every Tuesday, I don't know.

My last day of work, I was given an order for a pick up at a building downtown. I get there, there are 6 bags of mail..each weighing at least 60 lbs. I was driving a hatchback. I got on the radio, told the dispatcher where he could stick these bags, drove the car to the yard and quit.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

10. I learned never to do a large job for a first-time client

There are a lot of shady translation agencies that will solicit a big job from some end client, hire a bunch of translators, and then not pay them, keeping all the money from the end client for themselves.

If some unknown potential customer (and by this time, I've heard of most of the major agencies) e-mails me and says, "I have a 50,000-word translation for you to do," I first ask for a physical address, a phone number, some names, and the names of other translators who have worked for them. If they can't do that, I turn them down, even though a 50,000-word translation could be very lucrative.

The more scrupulous agencies either give a short (sometimes paid) test or start by sending short assignments, since they want to check the translator's abilities as much as the translator wants to check their honesty.

Right now, there are a bunch of translators and other professionals who have been stiffed to the tune of thousands of dollars by one particular agency. Fortunately, I never worked for them.

However, one agency that was soliciting a lot of translators out of the blue gave an address in downtown Minneapolis. I went to the location, and it was a rent-an-office place. The receptionist said that the translation agency had rented an office but no one had ever shown up to use it. Cross them off the list.

Another time, there was a lot of concern about an agency in Portland that was not paying people and not answering phone calls or e-mails. Since I was living in Portland back then and had some idea where the address was, I went to the location and found an empty office with still-attached phones sitting on the floor.

So yes, free-lancers have to be careful. I've had seriously delayed payments, but I've never been completely stiffed.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

11. I've had this client for several years, but...

...my initial contact...a 100% straight arrow, stand-up guy in every regard (especially paying me in a timely manner) has been ill and as a result cut back much of his direct involvement. The work I just completed was coordinated through someone else and compensating me for my work is not among his top priorities. I'd NEVER let a NEW client pay me when the work was finished. I've done the opposite...I've raised my prices by 15 to 20 % for new clients so I could offer a 15 to 20 % discount if they chose to pay the full amount up front.

So this was a matter of trusting a long-term client who dropped the ball.

[Mopar151]

12. Waylon Jennings had this problem once

Billy Joe Shaver tells the story:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

13. Billy Joe's the real deal...

...really enjoyed him in "The Apostle."

[NV Whino]

14. I had a client who devolved into 90 days or longer payment

I had just finished emailing him a past due notice (again) when I got a phone call from a potential creditor of his asking for a credit reference. Oh yeah, I gave him a credit reference, but I don't think it was the one he wanted.

[HopeHoops]

15. Curiously, I've never had that problem. I charge when the job is done or on a periodic basis.

If you work with that client again, I'd ask for everything up front (as in $560) and then send them a check for $60 after the job is done just to fuck with their heads.