Lounge, I have a problem. I don't know what to do about it.
I also don't know how much information I dare divulge, so I'm being rather cryptic and vague.
I apparently have a medical condition that I am afraid could negatively impact my ability to earn a living.
I am afraid to go to a doctor because I am afraid that, if diagnosed, the rug will be pulled out from under me and then I'm screwed. I am already struggling to do things in my job that are "normal" because it affects my ability to do routine things efficiently to some extent. I just shrugged it off for a while, thinking it was normal aging or I was just overly tired or whatever. Now symptoms have progressed so that I am pretty sure I know what the condition is -- it was something I had before and was treated for. I think its back, but worse. It is a treatable condition, with a good prognosis overall, but I don't know 100% I'm right, it could be one of several other conditions with worse prognoses. Or it could be treated but not with a good outcome.
I can't really afford to be off work very long. And, even if its short-term, what if I lose my job? I couldn't fault my employer if that happened, he needs someone there to do the work, and it's a VERY small business environment, the boss and 2 employees. What would I do without any income? No one in this society seems to care how hard it is to get a job these days, especially if you're not 22 anymore. I don't think you qualify for unemployment if you are let go because your employer has to fill your position while you're incapacitated, only if you are laid off for economic reasons.
However, if I don't go see a doctor, I risk the condition getting worse to the point that I know I'll be screwed for sure. Because it is definitely progressing.
And, there are no guarantees my self-diagnosis is right. it could be something else that is worse than what I think it is.
In hindsight, this has been coming on for a while now, at least a few months, but I didn't really put 2 and 2 together until just the past couple of weeks.
And, to add insult to injury, my insurance stinks, because its all I can afford. Anything I do will be pricey, because I have to pay every dime until I hit 5K.
This isn't the type of condition that will kill me or even cause my overall health to decline, but would definitely cause serious quality of life problems. Let's just say that I could end up disabled and miserable. I of course, am in a quiet, secret panic where I am imaging all kinds of worst case scenarios. Most of them end up with me living my final days in a cardboard box in an alley, foraging in garbage cans.
I am constantly reminded that there is no such thing as a meaningful social safety net. I guess if you're all but dead, you MIGHT qualify for some kind of social security disability. I don't know much about the process, but I understand it takes years to get it, and its denied time and again before its finally approved.
I know, I'm putting the cart before the horse to some extent, but I believe this is a recurrence of a condition I had about 30 years ago that was treated at the time.
I just don't know what to do.
= new reply since forum marked as read
. Go see your doctor, tell her/him that you're paying in cash, that is a big financial burden, and could there be a discount for cash at time of service. Many will work with you, but bring it up to the doctor, the office manager may/may not be able to help. Again 
Second - GO SEE A DOCTOR!
Third - Not sure I understand why everyone is saying "pay cash" - it's not like the doctor nor insurance company will tell your employer.
Fourth - How's the public health in your area?
Fifth - if it's a small company and you've worked there for ages and your boss knows and needs you and likes you, can you work out a part-time or work from home or train and job share compromise IF there is the problem you think you might have.
Do you have Short term or long term disability? Probably not, but I thought I'd ask. It sounds like you're too small for any of the other safeguards, but still - if you don't get it taken care of - then what? The longer you wait, the worse it could potentially be. And it could be something treatable and you've worried for nothing (well not nothing, but you know what I mean.)
Even IF this is "what you had before" medical science makes advances every single day. What there was no treatment for last week, there is today.
Get thee to a doctor first. Find out what's wrong. Find out your treatment/prognosis. THEN we'll worry about the job and everything else.
