My mom is sick--UPDATE BELOW
Last edited Thu Apr 9, 2020, 11:42 AM - Edit history (1)
Over the weekend we got the news that a member of the direct-care staff on the ward of the nursing home where she lives tested positive for coronavirus.
Yesterday, we got the news that a resident on her ward tested positive.
During the night, we got a call that Mom is having trouble breathing. As of yet, there is no fever. She has been placed on oxygen therapy.
Mom is 86 years old, has high blood pressure, a-fib, and Alzheimer's Disease.
YEARS ago, she designated my oldest sister as her health care proxy and expressed wishes for DNR and no ventilators.
I'm terrified.
= new reply since forum marked as read
When my father lay dying, far away, the nurses would hold a phone up to his ear so I could say "I love you."
Maybe, with newer technology, they will be able to do some kind of limited face time, anyway.
I am so sorry this is happening. 
...one of the more difficult things in my life was when my father was in the hospital (he had DNR) and the doctor asked me to say yes or no to intubation... one of the others was when my son was in the hospital last year with TBI and the doctor was asking me about life and/or death matters
it is not easy and takes much strength... 
I hope your mother gets better
MissMillie.
I don't have any words of wisdom, just
My mother also has Alzheimer's and is in a facility just outside of Detroit. I may well be writing a similar post before long.
all of my love.
Sending virtual huga & healing vibes to your mom, you & your family.
We understand. Thinking of you and your mom.
Ten years ago my wife was in the end stages of metastatic melanoma. The monster had spread to her lungs and her brain. I was her health care proxy, and we had discussed her wishes. Her oncologist actually came to the house to visit her, imagine that! An oncologist doing house calls!). After she told him, in no uncertain terms, that she just wanted for it to be over, he turned to me and asked what I wanted. I said that what I really wanted was for her to be cured so that we could grow old together, but that I recognized that that was not an option. I said that I wanted her suffering to be over. She passed on a bit more than a week later.
I am sorry for the pain this causes you. Please know that you are not alone.
Crossing my fingers that she comes out of this okay.
Sending strengthening, healing vibes to your mom and family.
about some of the precious times of your lives.
Remember when........
We hope she recovers and you are reunited...........
I sang nursery songs to him and told him he was a great dad and it was okay to go if he wanted to. He wasn't really there, either, just...waiting.
If your mom has dementia, that might be comforting to her.
It's not easy. It was 8 years ago, and I'm still crying.
Harle
Remind her of some old times when you were little and climbed in her lap to feel safe and warm. Embrace her with your words...
Allow her to go in peace. 
Peace to you
Take a deep breath and try to feel the lounge vibes around you.
So sorry you are going through this under these circumstances. Peace to you, your Mother and your family. Saying good-bye to a loved family member isn’t easy during normal times. Give each other strength.
she knows you love her, though.
