Your situation maybe solitary, but certainly not unique. Your "guilt" may come from an admirable source, but let your soul shine through. I am fulltime caretaker--solitary caretaker--for elderly wheelchair bound mother. 24/7--I get to the farm when I can--as much for my sanity--(I know that's dumb, to love broken machinery, dirt, and physical labor--but it's MY LIFE) Right now, as has been the case for 3 years--and will be the case long after COVID is a distant memory--there are things more important too me then just me. But mom's the best example--retired nurse--50 yrs as nurse--25+ as head nurse of clinic--wants so bad to go help--but as we both say, "the best thing she can do to help is to stay healthy and not take up a hospital bed" If you can CREATE, you can INSPIRE---ART IS BEAUTY-- even this dumb redneck knows that. Create if you can, give it as a form of therapy for yourself and others if you can. My late father taught us during the depression, people still found ways to laugh, to smile, to feel joy, and to finally feel resilient. That doesn't come from sadness, but rather from joy, love, and our fellow humanity. These all lead to HOPE, that is always ultimately our strength. (Saw me thru the 80's farm crises as many neighbors went broke--we got BADLY bent but managed to get thru) your ability to find joy, which is as contagious as any emotion--even more so then any virus (think of people laughing with complete strangers) will be sorely needed in the weeks and months ahead--may I ask of you to practice now (after the booze of course) for your sake and ours--"a chain which is 1 link short of the length needed is useless no matter how strong the links are. The chain must be long enough and ALL the links must hold" GOOD LUCK TO YOU!
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