Can online dating work during the pandemic?

[Rizen]

I've been trying online dating for a year and a half and haven't gone on a single date. But I've improved my profile a lot. The pandemic sent all my social activities to a screeching halt. I'm high functioning autistic and not good at communicating with people. Would it be a bad idea to send messages to women asking if they want to be pen pals until it's safe to meet again? I'd really like someone to talk to.

[Hoyt]

1. Met my long-term lady friend online, and I'm not that good at communicating

until I know someone, either.

If I were still online and wanted to contact someone, I’d probably just say something like “Saw your profile, and while this is a strange time, would love to talk or email until things improve.” You might even put something like that in your profile.

I think it is sort of a given that now is not the time to be going out, unless maybe walking in a park or something. Plus, I think some ladies might be relieved you’re not another guy looking for a short-term hookup.

This might even be a good time for someone like us as far as online dating. Good luck.

[customerserviceguy]

2. You may actually have an advantage at this time

A lot of people are of the attitude, "It's not real until you meet the person." I met my lady online in 2005 (and she's still putting up with me!) and she made the first move to fly across the country from NY to WA state to meet me, just because of that belief. But, we did do a LOT of communication by email and phone before that point.

Right now, you both have a valid excuse to not have the first meeting too early in the relationship. You have the opportunity for a potential partner to really have a chance to get to know something about who you are on the inside. Of course, exchange pictures and all that, but postponing a physical meeting could allow you to show the great person that you are before that point arrives.

Do you have a sister, sister-in-law, or female cousin who could work with you a bit? On the dating site where my lady and I met, I gave a guy's eye on a lot of women's profiles, and helped them look more appealing. Some people actually use their profile as a way to complain about their ex, and that's a turn off to anyone thinking, "So, what is this person going to say to others about ME someday?" Also, their profiles showed that they were obviously displaying that their devotion to a pet or their kids. Yes, that's a good quality, but it is a sign to a potential date/mate that the new person will always be a clear second in their life.

I was good at helping women improve their profiles, several wrote back that my tips really worked for them. Find a good woman in your life who can give you helpful, but honest advice on how to put out a profile that really gets people interested in you.

[Rizen]

4. I don't have anyone like that in my life.

[customerserviceguy]

5. Perhaps you have a male friend

who has a sister, sister-in-law, wife, or female cousin to help. Women seem to like to help in this situation, in my experience. If you don't have anyone like that in your life, then maybe the thing to do is to work on being a friend before trying to be a partner.

But, even without that, use the opportunity to begin a dialogue with women online. Even a potential relationship that fails to launch will make you better able to communicate.

Also, one book really changed my life, I'm sure you can find it cheaply on the Internet, even if a library is unavailable to you because of the coronavirus situation. It's called, "You Just Don't Understand, Women and Men in Conversation" by Dr. Deborah Tannen. It will really help you communicate better with women.

[FM123]

3. So here is an older person's advice - maybe skip the pen pal route and videodate instead?

Here is a great article about dating online during the pandemic so I am including a link. Hope it is helpful, good luck!
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/24/how-singles-are-meeting-up-on-dating-apps-during-the-coronavirus.html