Ahhhhh, shit!

[Coyote_Bandit]

So Mom and Dad called tonight. They've been doing their annual medical check-ups this week. Seems that Mom's bloodwork has warranted an appointment with an oncologist. Lymphoma is suspected - but not yet confirmed.

Tell me what I need to know. Not medical advice gobblyd gook that I don't understand. Tell me your experiences. Give me your best advice.

[applegrove]

1. Vibes to your mom.

[Coyote_Bandit]

2. Thank you

[snappyturtle]

3. As hard as it is....wait...until you get a confirmation.

AND, keep your mom calm....no sense excessively worrying
about a diagnosis that has yet occurred.

In the meantime...go to Mayo's website and look it up. It
will help if you find out she indeed is diagnosed with lymphoma.
Mayo's site explains conditions very plainly. Good luck to you
and I hope you will keep us informed.......

[Coyote_Bandit]

4. They have spoken to their family physician

The have known him for many yars and Mom used to work with him. He's personally reviewed the slides and seems to believe that Mom has lymphoma. But he won't make the diagnosis. Only the referral. That's appropriate since it isn't his specialty. But, well, he seems pretty sure of his assessment. At least according to my folks.

Mom has been unusually tired for the last several weeks and has not been eating well.

I've already been to Mayo's website. I still feel woeflly uninformed and unprepared.

Thanks for the well wishes.

[snappyturtle]

6. Waiting is the worst. Let's hope her physician is wrong...it happens. nt

[Coyote_Bandit]

9. Yes. Let's hope so.....

[Chan790]

7. For yet more information...

try the page of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I linked the page on Lymphoma below but there's way way more information on the LLS page than just that...including discussions of the different types and treatments.

http://www.lls.org/#/diseaseinformation/lymphoma/

Edit: About 4/5 down the page, there's a link to their phone support number...you should give them a call if for no other reason than they can tell you what questions you need to ask your mom's specialist that you may not know to ask.

[Coyote_Bandit]

8. Thanks!

I'm trying to figure out what it is I need to learn. A call would be in order it seems.

[GoneOffShore]

20. Mayo Clinic and NIH are your best bets

Stay away from the cancer discussion boards and WebMD(over run by ads and occasional woo).

Don't be afraid to ask questions.

Sounds like your mom has a good doctor.

[Coyote_Bandit]

21. Thanks

Their family doctor is a good doc - and a genuinely good, decent, caring man. A couple of years ago my brother died suddenly just a couple of weeks before Mom and Dad's regularly scheduled annual exams. Doc cleared his schedule and spent an hour talking with my folks.

Personally, I suspect that the stress and grief following my brothers death weakened Mom's immune system perhaps contributing to her condition. The stories of my brother's wife/widow falls into the "you can't make shit like this up" category and some of it is just jaw dropping. No doubt it has taken a toll.

Thanks for the suggestions.

[crunch60]

22. I don't agree not to go on a good informative chat line, talking a wonderful group of people who

are going thru the same illness, can be an incredible source of information and comfort. I mean a chat group that is specific to a particular cancer. NOT the web Doctors.

Many Dr.'s do not accept Medicare, it is a huge delima for many elderly people, even if you have a supplemental insurance. It sounds like you have a wonderful Doc, hopefully he can advocate for you, and guide you in the right direction.
Remember, one step at a time, so you aren't feeling overwhelmed.

[crunch60]

10. Make a list of questions you want to ask the oncologist. Turn yourself into a medical secretary.

Some doctors even let you tape record the visit (ask first) so you can refer back to medical terms you might not have understood at the time of the visit. Then you can research it later on the internet.

Make sure someone is with your Mom when she talks to the Doctor. An unwanted diagnosis can be a shock, so one person has to have the ability to listen carefully and take notes. Things can seem overwhelming , so take it slowly one step at a time.

If you have to wait two or three weeks for a particular test, try not to think about it until you know the results of the test, because this is the most stressful time. In other words, "don't think about it, until you have to think about it".

Good Doctors don't mind if you get second opinions.
John Hopkins has a wonderful medical oncology staff, you could also ask them for advise.

Sending healing vibes to you and your family.

[Rhiannon12866]

13. I agree that Mom should have family/concerned friends with her anytime she sees the doctor.

I had three surgeries over seven years and if I hadn't had someone with me when I saw the doctor(s), I was so freaked out that I wouldn't have remembered anything. Also, I researched where was the best place to treat what I had. I checked US News & World Report's list of the best hospitals in the country for different conditions. I'm in the Northeast and the highest rated hospital for women's issues was Mass General in Boston, so that's where I went. It's a teaching hospital, so what was a big deal in my neck-of-the woods was fairy routine for them. Best of luck to Mom...

[Coyote_Bandit]

16. I plan on being there

Mom is retired and on Medicare with a Medicare supplemental policy. We are already finding that some medical providers are unwilling to take her as a patient based on that.

I'm looking at various providers. There aren't any teaching hospitals in the area. The nearest one would require a long drive and an overnight stay for each visit. I'm not sure she's up for that - even if the additional cost were not an issue.

Thanks for the good wishes.

[Coyote_Bandit]

14. I've started reading up on stuff

I plan to go with Mom and Dad next week when she sees the oncologist. I know she is overwhelmed. Who wouldn't be? And sometimes Dad doesn't hear real well. Nevermind that he is the professional worrier in the family.

Mom and Dad are retired and have Medicare and a Medicare supplemental policy. We are already finding that some medical providers will not accept her as a patient.

Thanks for the good vibes.

[fizzgig]

11. no advice

but you have my best

[Coyote_Bandit]

17. Thank you

[irisblue]

12. best wishes to your family

Get copies of the lab results and xrays, almost like a second med chart. Suprising some times that drA didn't know/ get results from Dr D.
Depending on where she is and her insurance carrier, the medical billing tracking can be almost a part time job, invest in some notebooks.

[Coyote_Bandit]

18. I know someone who has an as yet undiagnosed illness

She has spent the last 3 or 4 years being shuttled from one specialist to another. She is one of the most organized people I know and she has had difficulty tracking the medical billing - and has often provided copies of lost lab reports to various providers. Good advice.

Thanks for the good wishes.

[Vincent89]

15. Spam deleted by Violet_Crumble (MIR Team)

[Coyote_Bandit]

19. Indeed

Thanks.