"serious" topic in Lounge won't lead to Demerit? ---- Forgiveness.
So, I hold grudges, no wiggle room there. Reason/justification/rationalization: Uh, justice? Recent studies say our fellow animals sense when treatment is *UNFAIR* compared to their/our fellows.
Anyway, so this eve I brought up an ancient gripe with a confrere, who said, something like, I know I know you won't let it go!
And I said, something like, I only bring it up every decade or so because when something is not acknowledged (validated) it keeps on being there.
I added in a possibly passive-aggressive aside because this person is a semi-evangelical, "It's in the Bible." Haha. (Remember "Dr Laura" who was a thorn in our Lib side, who was (first?) an Orthodox Jew then a Fundamentalist "Christian"?) She said the Bible said that Forgiveness is not automatic, that it goes by stages: Acknowledgment, repentance, asking for forgiveness - which might or might not be granted.
So, in my life's circle, for better and worse, are some very "religious" folk who PRAY a lot - whether of the mainstream denominations (Catholic) or the evangelical (Pentacostals). I'm a sort of Secular Humanist or agnostic or who knows what. Lucky, ain't I?!1
So they pray a lot. My old sister goes to Catholic Mass every damned day. And one of my Pentacostals prays on the KNEES (I don't know how often).
***** At this point in this entry I'm not sure where this is going, was set off by *something*!1
***** ON EDIT, oh yes, I remember: To me, "apologies" are WORTHLESS. In social services training, perpetrators are known to go by a pattern: Slow build-up of anger, then emotional/verbal abuse, then the explosion of physical abuse, then collapse into APOLOGY plus abject weeping; with the victim accepting the "apology" and:: The whole cycle BEGINS AGAIN.
(Uh... )
= new reply since forum marked as read
I just say I'll take whatever help I can get. 
(is that what set you off?)
you have been here longer than me, and you are one of the good guys. pretty sure I know what flame war you speak of and I wouldn't worry about it. language is constantly evolving and at the same time people are in a hurry to find things to get offended over - but that is also how change happens so it is a dynamic that keeps people awake and paying attention. 
we can do more than one thing at a time. sometimes we need to lick superficial wounds before we bound out to hug the world. 
