I once completely cleared an Air Force Technical Training classroom. I don't remember a lot about what I had eaten the night before, but I'm pretty sure it had involved a lot of beer and greasy late-night food, and then some eggs in the morning at the chow hall. Whatever the overall combination was, everything had combined in just the right proportions and had created a noxious blend of ingredients that had a chance to ferment in my gut throughout the evening and up to about 9:00 in the morning, when my internal gas volume and pressure exceeded my intestinal capacity. I was feeling sort of like one of those Macy's Parade balloons, or perhaps Violet Beauregard in Willie Wonka after she chewed the gum. I felt a rumbling in my gut, realized what was going to be happening, and shifted around in my chair a little bit, intensely concentrating on the schematic we were going through - and then I deflated.
I was sitting in the back row, to the far left corner. The classroom door was to the front left, and the windows were all along the right-side wall. It was a relatively small class in the very technical aspects of electronics repair for an avionics system on a then-current aircraft - probably 6-9 students at the most. I thought I had gotten away with my semi-controlled (and totally silent) release, but as the toxic cloud spread it caused a bit of a stir in the back of the class.
The stir spread. Eyes were beginning to start watering.
By the time the all-encompassing green cloud of pure stench had reached the front of the class, those in the back were starting to gag.
The instructor stopped his lecture, looked around the class, and I'll always remember his words of wisdom on the situation: "Oh, my God!!! What the hell is that?? 15 minute break, outside, starting NOW! Go - go!" as he made sure that all of the classroom windows were fully open.
Probably one of my finest moments - and nobody ever knew the cause or the perpetrator.
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