Wife thinks our new coffee table is gaudy. Asking for Lounge lizzard input

[Major Nikon]

[rsdsharp]

1. She's right.

Send it to me. I have no taste.

[lapfog_1]

2. why would you have such a fire hazard in your living room?

you should hire a specialist to remove it immediately... oh, did I mention that I happen to be qualified in the removal of hazardous material?

[redwitch]

3. I would call it ostentatious rather than gaudy.

And someone should paint the pallet.

[csziggy]

23. The pallet should be gold leafed to make it properly gaudy

Then Dolt45 would want a coffee table just like it!

[Glorfindel]

4. I'm afraid she's right, Major Nikon. However, I have an antique cherry-wood heirloom

Queen Anne style table that I'd be willing to swap. It would go beautifully with your sofa and carpet. I could throw an old sheet over your current too-tacky-for-words coffee table and use it as a bedside table.

[getagrip_already]

5. maybe if you painted the pallot a nice green......

it's way too rustic.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. It would be gaudy if the bands around the bills were gold ribbons

and the pallet were covered in gold leaf. As it is, it's just ostentatious.

[California_Republic]

7. I'll take it off your hands

[yonder]

8. No, not gaudy as long as you lose the pallet and the guacomole.

Come on, what were you thinking?

[msongs]

9. if u spill dip on the money you will have to .... launder it lol nt

[irisblue]

10. I can help with that.

[Docreed2003]

11. Nah...that table looks like a million bucks!

[Glamrock]

12. Her name wouldn't be Skyler by any chance....

But you do what you want Mr. Heisenberg..

[democratisphere]

13. Add a glass table top and you are good to go!

Isn't that from the Fort Knox Collection of Wayfair?!

[NBachers]

14. I'd advise keeping the windows closed, to avoid unwanted visitors.

[AJT]

15. OMG I was wondering where my pallet of money went....

it must have fallen out of my pocket. Where did you find it?

[rurallib]

16. not sure if it is gaudy, but it seems a bit low

needs another million or so.

[PJMcK]

17. Did you get that from Phil Mickelson?

https://www.golfdigest.com/story/despite-massive-audience-for-tiger-woods-phil-mickelson-match-turner-likely-lost-millions-on-pay-per-view-snafu

[dawg day]

18. Yeah, it's gaudy.

I have a very discreet and decorous coffee table. Let's trade.

[Baitball Blogger]

19. Let's just hope you don't take the term, laundering money, too literally.

[MiniMe]

20. Looks a bit pricey

[MyOwnPeace]

21. Maybe she'd rather have a "Man's Table!"

https://www.amazon.com/Engine-Block-Coffee-Table-Style/dp/B013TKW4F6

[red dog 1]

22. If those are counterfeit bills, then your wife is right

If they're real, then "What a unique coffee table!"