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Bad sex award 2018: the contenders in quotes
Scoundrels: The Hunt for Hansclapp by Major Victor Cornwall and Major Arthur St John Trevelyan“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.
Female authors have managed to avoid including bad sex scenes in their novels this year – at least according to the Literary Review, which has announced an all-male shortlist for that least-coveted of literary prizes, the Bad sex in fiction award.
Haruki Murakami, often named as a contender for the Nobel prize, makes the cut for passages from his latest novel Killing Commendatore in which impossible amounts of semen are ejaculated by the protagonist. The controversial US novelist James Frey, who was exposed for inventing parts of his memoir A Million Little Pieces, was selected for a scene in his novel Katerina described by judges as “almost like wish fulfillment”.
Haruki Murakami, often named as a contender for the Nobel prize, makes the cut for passages from his latest novel Killing Commendatore in which impossible amounts of semen are ejaculated by the protagonist. The controversial US novelist James Frey, who was exposed for inventing parts of his memoir A Million Little Pieces, was selected for a scene in his novel Katerina described by judges as “almost like wish fulfillment”.
No women made the shortlist for this year’s prize, which exists to “draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction”. In the award’s 25-year history, just three female authors have won: Rachel Johnson, Nancy Huston and Wendy Perriam.
The Literary Review’s Frank Brinkley would not “officially” admit this meant that women wrote better sex scenes than men. “There has been some great bad sex from women in the past but this year men are the prime offenders,” he said. “There were a couple of women on the nominal longlist, which we don’t publish, but we decided they weren’t bad enough.”
The Literary Review’s Frank Brinkley would not “officially” admit this meant that women wrote better sex scenes than men. “There has been some great bad sex from women in the past but this year men are the prime offenders,” he said. “There were a couple of women on the nominal longlist, which we don’t publish, but we decided they weren’t bad enough.”
Guardian is wild today.
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/nov/30/bad-sex-award-2018-the-contenders-in-quotes?CMP=fb_gu&fbclid=IwAR0f1T7kEB2HYXmHOBFfU6GPY7BsPMo15ttxA9I3LGU2yzWAFahYvltSZew
10 replies
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Wow. That's some real sad dirty talk.
I just have a drake smiley 
Last edited Fri Nov 30, 2018, 12:55 PM - Edit history (1)
instead of just icky and weird. Bad writing meets bad sex. Eww. "Pleasure cave"? Seriously?
