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LuckyCharms

(17,441 posts) Tue Oct 30, 2018, 08:16 AM Oct 2018

I didn't poop yesterday, so I had to take a day off from work today.

Just called the boss...

I'm not coming in today.

Why?

I'm pooping today.

What do you mean?

I didn't poop yesterday, so I'll be pooping today. I'm calling you from the bathroom.

How long will that take?

8 or 9 hours.

Why so freakin' long?

Because I didn't poop yesterday.

Can't you work from the bathroom?

No, I'm reading stuff.

OK, you'll be in tomorrow, right?

Maybe, if I'm done pooping.

OK, see you soon then.

Time and a half for pooping, right?

Uh...

Great, see you when I decide to come in. Bye.