What Jesus left behind - The foreskin and its powers

[packman]

Henry V — yes, that Henry V, the king of England who conquered much of France and inspired some of Shakespeare’s finest battle speeches — heard a rumor in 1421 about an object of great power in one of the French villages now in his dominion. Henry’s new wife, Catherine of Valois, a daughter of the defeated French king, was pregnant with their first child when Henry learned of the holy prepuce of Coulombs.

A prepuce is a foreskin, and “holy,” of course, signifies one of divine origin, which meant that the holy prepuce of Coulombs was none other than the foreskin of one Jesus of Nazareth, whose body was elevated from earth to heaven, according to Scripture. Most of his body, that is — apart from those snipped folds of baby penis skin he left behind, which became known for easing the suffering of women in childbirth. Well, at least for those women with access to the centuries-old miracle flesh. And so, six years after Henry’s triumph at the Battle of Agincourt, he sent his cavalry back to France to retrieve the sacred relic (once more unto the breach, apparently for the sake of a baby in breech).

And it worked. The sweet scent of the holy foreskin reportedly helped Catherine give birth to a healthy Henry VI, who became the youngest king of England ever just nine months later, when his father died from dysentery


Article goes on to explore the business of "holy relics" and their powers:

https://www.ozy.com/flashback/what-the-foreskin-of-jesus-can-teach-us-all/87022

[MosheFeingold]

1. I had a good friend that worked as mohel

I inquired of him what, exactly, he did with the foreskins.

"Ah," he replied, "when I get enough, I make the most amazing wallets you've ever seen." Whereupon he handed me a nondescript wallet he had in his pocket.

"What's so special about this? It's just a wallet," I replied, handing him back the wallet.

"Well," he said smugly, "when you rub it, it becomes a suitcase!"


(Thank you. Thank you. Here all week. Twice on Thursdays. Don't forget to tip the ladies. They work hard.)

[packman]

2. Ahh, the classics

[Glamrock]

3. Bwaaaaaaaa!

Holy shit is that funny!

[rurallib]

4. that was funny!

never heard it

[lunatica]

7. LOL!

Good one

[milestogo]

5. Jesus had a magic dick that lasted for centuries...

[LeftInTX]

6. Weird........

Our church sold "durable" relics...wood from the cross etc.

Foreskin???

Did Jesus ever clip his fingernails?

Did he ever use a cloth to bathe?

The list is endless.........