I've seen a lot of posts lately about phone scams. Here's the solution; when you answer

[FSogol]

the phone, bark out, "Fraud Division, Sgt. Watson speaking," in a gruff voice. The scammers almost always hang up. Sometimes they babble a little before hanging up. They'll probably scratch you off the list.

[bearsfootball516]

1. I just don't answer calls from numbers I don't recognize.

[FSogol]

2. Where's the fun in that?

[Sneederbunk]

3. Same here. If call is legit they will leave a message.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

8. A couple of days ago I answered a call from a number I didn't recognize

and I wound up having the most delightful conversation ever.

I'd had a letter to the editor printed in my local paper, and this man looked up my phone number to call me. He started out by gently teasing me concerning the content of the letter, and then the conversation segued wonderfully into current politics. His name is William, he's in his 80's, had served in Korea, got out of the service, went to college, qualified as a naval pilot and went back in. Then he was sent to Vietnam and decided that was a load of horseshit and resigned his commission.

William DESPISES the man in the White House, and what bothers him the most is how that man isn't living up to his oath to protect and preserve the Constitution.

It was the best conversation ever. Sometimes answering an unknown number is good.

[lapfog_1]

4. the ultimate telemarketer prank

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

9. I love that. It never gets old.

[Leith]

10. Ooooh... That Was Great!

I don't think I could pull off being a police officer, but I could come up with some sort of religious nonsense the next time some yahoo calls to see if I want to sell my house. It could be fun.

Since my name and address are on public records, I can't complain too much about that - but the buzzards have my phone number! I don't even give that out to the businesses where we are all on a first name basis.

[msongs]

5. them - ring ring, me - have u been saved? nt

[grumpyduck]

6. I usually don't answer, but this guy caught me anyway

So he says he's with Microsoft something-or-other and "understands" I'm having a problem and wants to help me fix it. Now, the guy had an accent so thick I could barely understand him. I decided to play with him a bit.

I just told him I have an Apple (which was a lie - I have a Windows computer). Man, did he get flustered. "You have an Apple? You don't have Windows? Well, it says here you have Windows..." and so on and on and on. This time I really had a hard time understanding him, but he finally hung up.

[MiniMe]

7. When I know it is a scam call, I have been known to answer the phone...

Saying "FBI, please state your name and address"

They usually can't hang up fast enough

[gratuitous]

18. Can I get your full name, please?

Ask about five times in a row, and some of them wise up. If they say their name is "Daniel," I'll ask them why they said their name was David, but now it's Daniel? What's your name going to be in another 10 seconds? Donald? Darwin? Jawarhalal? Some of them are stupid enough to argue: I never said my name was David!

I feel no shame at all in baiting these assholes.

[malthaussen]

11. "I did what you asked, but now there's blood all over..."

... "Hurry up and get down here so we can move the body."

-- Mal

[FSogol]

12. "Speak quickly, I think the Feds are tapping this line. Click, click."

[ailsagirl]

13. The problem for me is it's a robocall

I did yell once at an actual caller and said DAMMIT! STOP CALLING ME!!

Didn't hear anything for awhile, but now it's the odious robocalls that are badgering me

[FSogol]

15. Robots? Try this:

01000110 01110010 01100001 01110101 01100100 00100000 01000100 01101001 01110110 01101001 01110011 01101001 01101111 01101110 00101100 00100000 01010011 01100111 01110100 00101110 00100000 01010111 01100001 01110100 01110011 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111

[ailsagirl]

19. I'll do that!

[csziggy]

14. I keep my whistle next to the phone

For the Windows Tech Support guys. I just keep blowing it until they hang up. Once after the first whistle I heard the guy on the other end say, "It's the whistle lady! What do I do?" and some one replied, "Hang up!"

[FSogol]

16. It would have been great if they said, "It's the whistle lady! What do I do?" and

the other guy said, "WHAT?"

[csziggy]

17. LOL!

[GeorgeHayduke]

22. Epic.

I'm giggling.

[Wolf Frankula]

20. The Windows Tech Support people get Papa Slurpy's Pizza for Dogs.

We got a call from the fake IRS scammers. They got, "Thank you for calling Windows Tech Support. We understand you're having problems with your Windows computer. " in an outrageously fake Indian accent. They hung up.

Wolf

[yellowdogintexas]

21. I think you win the Lounge for the day

We usually use the #TeamLinux approach.

[DFW]

23. We sometimes get those in Germany, too

My usually fluent German fails me at such times, and all I can remember to speak is Catalan, Russian or Swedish.

When I'm in the States, and the rare occasion arises when I get such a call, if it sounds like an American, I ask for their full name and home number. When they ask why, or say they are not authorized to give it, I say I need it to be able to call them at home and try to sell them useless stuff at dinner time. If it sounds like someone from India or the Orient, I revert to Catalan, Russian or Swedish.