The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsI think I found a major flaw in Jim Bakker's 'Apocalypse Survival' package
According to an article in The Daily Mail, this is what he is offering for purchase:
A generator package ($4,100)
seven years of food for $2,200
the When Nature Calls offer ($100) which includes a bucket with a toilet seat and six rolls of tissue
and a fruit bundle with a 20-year shelf life ($450)
So, based on having 7 years worth of food and what sounds like a massive '20 year' fruit roll up, he expects that your family will need less than 1 roll of toilet paper per survival year?
lapfog_1
(29,228 posts)dried leaves or rounded stones normally.
FSogol
(45,555 posts)From "Gargantua," the epic tome by Francois Rabelais, a 16th century french comic, who wrote an entire chapter on the joys of wiping his ass:
Article here:
https://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/572/what-did-people-use-before-toilet-paper-was-invented/
A HERETIC I AM
(24,380 posts)FSogol
(45,555 posts)Probably deserve it.
Blue Owl
(50,532 posts)I think we know who the fruit bundle is here...
Siwsan
(26,308 posts)Unless you live in Canada. Those pesky Canadian restrictions on apocalypse fruit!!
bronxiteforever
(9,287 posts)Generic Brad
(14,276 posts)Especially if everyone else is wiped out!
ThoughtCriminal
(14,050 posts)Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Armageddon!
Armageddon who?
Armageddon tired of waiting for the apocalypse!
SCantiGOP
(13,874 posts)Ive read that everyone will be nekkid as they fly up to heaven.
Va Lefty
(6,252 posts)jmowreader
(50,567 posts)Here's the generator kit:
https://store.jimbakkershow.com/product/complete-expandable-fuel-less-generator-package/
For the low, low price of only $4100, you receive:
2 x 100-watt solar panels
1 x "fuel-less generator" which is a 1500-watt UPS you plug your solar cells into
1 x "fuel-less generator expansion battery"
1 x hand crank
1 x 600-watt microwave
How fast is the microwave going to drain the UPS? And how many days will it take to recharge it?
Oh...the "fruit bundle" is a four-gallon bucket full of freeze-dried fruit.
The King of Prussia
(737 posts)It's a vile right -wing rag.
Siwsan
(26,308 posts)To be fair, although much of what they print is trashy drivel, they have broken a story or two - like the one about Rob Porter's habit of abusing his wives.
I also read the headlines on 'The National Inquirer' when I'm standing in a grocery line. Perhaps that makes me easily amused, incorrigible, or both.
Iggo
(47,578 posts)Why are people stupid?
Grammy23
(5,815 posts)Better yet, see if you cant get a fast food place that buys pickles by the bucket to give you one.
Big Lots has a large package of butt floss for $8.00.
Jim Bakker was rather chastened and contrite after he first came out of lock up. I see he has gotten over all of that and is back to fleecing the flock. No wonder they think tRump was sent by god. He is their mentor for fleecing folks and pulling wool over the eyes.
A HERETIC I AM
(24,380 posts)that when he goes to the grocery store, he puts a package of toilet paper up first, then all the rest. He then asks the checkout clerk this judgement question;
"is this enough toilet paper for all this food?"
edbermac
(15,947 posts)uriel1972
(4,261 posts)This was a real photo... Gosh darn it... Plastic Christians, what next?
TexasBushwhacker
(20,222 posts)uriel1972
(4,261 posts)Kaleva
(36,361 posts)Matthew 14:16-21 New International Version (NIV)
16 Jesus replied, They do not need to go away. You give them something to wipe with after they poop.
17 We have here only one six rolls of tissue, they answered.
18 Bring them here to me, he said. 19 And he directed the people to pull down their pants and squat. Taking the six rolls of tissue and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the rolls of tissue. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. 20 They all emptied their bowels, wiped and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve rolls of tissue that were left over. 21 The number of those who pooped and wiped was about five thousand men, besides women and children.