The "walk on water" joke, updated for Trump
Someone sent the "president walks on water" joke to me...which got me to thinking:
President Trump decided he'd heard enough bad things about himself in the media and decided to spend the rest of his administration at Mar-a-Lago. As he got off the plane, he stepped in a puddle on the tarmac.
Fox News reports: "President Trump walks on water!"
CNN replies that the "water" Trump walked on was a sixteenth of an inch deep.
Trump sends 25 anti-CNN tweets claiming they were reporting "fake news" as anyone could clearly see the puddle was a quarter-inch deep.
CNN responds, "so fucking what? It still didn't come to the top of the soles of your shoes."
Sarah Huckabee Sanders responded, "the depth of the water is of no importance, the clear fact is the president walked on water."
MSNBC decides to stay out of the fray and launches a 24/7 stream of back-to-back prison shows.
Brian Kilmeade of Fox and Friends claims MSNBC airing prison shows instead of talking about "our messiah president" only shows that the editorial board of MSNBC wants Trump impeached and locked up because he can walk on water.
Rachel Maddow responds, "he just got his shoes a little dirty! What the hell is wrong with you people anyway?"
Trump invents a new nickname for Rachel Maddow and claims she should be "shot for treason."
Maddow mails a $20 gift card for "Shines-R-Us" and a beautifully restored antique 1 iron to Mar-a-Lago, enclosing a note that says "friends again?"
Trump sends 300 anti-Maddow tweets, claiming her choice of gift* was a veiled attack on his presidency.
Maddow opens her next show with this monologue: "There's nothing veiled about my attacks on your presidency, and because I don't play golf how the hell was I to know I sent you the only thing in the world more useless than you within a hundred miles of the White House?"
Trump orders the pilot of Air Force One court-martialed for conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman for parking so close to a puddle.
The Chief of Staff of the Air Force refuses to court-martial the pilot because "it wasn't his fault you are too damn stupid to watch where you are going."
Trump orders the Chief of Staff of the Air Force court-martialed for not court-martialing the pilot.
The Chief of Staff of the Air Force buys all the McDonald's restaurants in Palm Beach and orders his staff, on pain of being forcibly enlisted in the Marines, to not sell food to Donald Trump.
Three days later, Trump returns to Washington.
* Golfers don't play with the 1 iron anymore because it's really hard to use.
= new reply since forum marked as read
