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That's not a turkey. That's an ostrich.
My wife called me while I was down in France yesterday, and told me she had picked up our turkey for tonight.
She said it had cost €140 (about $165) and weighed 17½ kilos (about 38½ pounds). She said she managed to drag it downstairs and barely fit it into a small refrigerator we keep down there. It will be my good fortune to drag it back up this morning.
I don't know what this beast looked like while it was running around loose (we get our poultry from a local free-range farm), but I'll bet leaving children under the age of ten alone in its presence would have violated every child endangerment law on the books.
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