I was attacked by a heavy jar of peanut butter and have a bruised lip and face.

[Laffy Kat]

I was reaching up for something in the pantry and a jar of peanut butter fell on my face. I look beaten. I've been trying to cover it up with make up but it looks like I'm trying to cover up a beating. I honestly would prefer a black eye because at least I could wear sun glasses. I have a slightly loose tooth, too. I'm going to dentist anyway on Monday so I'll deal with that then. Damn.

[guillaumeb]

1. How long has the peanut butter felt this way?

Perhaps the peanut butter knew what you intended to do with it and took action.

Were you holding a recipe for peanut butter cookies?

[Laffy Kat]

3. Don't even really like peanut butter.

It was was unprovoked I tell ya!!

[Kleveland]

11. Perfect plot for a Hitchcockesque film...

Scripted like "The Birds"

"The Peanut Butter"

I can hear the promo now:

"It will jar your senses"

"Spreading to local theaters soon"

[Kleveland]

2. Was it natural chunky style, or something like Jiff?

Natural is better for you, as it retains the natural oils.

(trying to make you laugh)

Hope your tooth is okay!

[Laffy Kat]

4. Choosy mother choose Jiff and that's what it was, LOL.

[GentryDixon]

7. You reminded me to put Jif on my list.

I hope your tooth will be ok. 😆

[Laffy Kat]

10. Thanks.

[Sneederbunk]

5. Must have been a RW attack as it was 100% goober.

[Laffy Kat]

8. ...

[unblock]

6. Sunbutter is the way to go

Mini-unblock is allergic to peanuts.

Plus, sunbutter comes in smaller, plastic jars, so, safer in a fall

Heal well!

[Laffy Kat]

9. Sunbutter? I'll look it up.

I only keep the PB around for #2-son, anyway.

[unblock]

12. I actually like it better than pb anyway. Taste is similar but not quite

Made from sunflower seeds.

https://sunbutter.com

*no, I do not get a commission lol

[Laffy Kat]

13. I'm gonna try it. Thanks. nt

[eppur_se_muova]

16. Thanks ! Just a couple of days ago I was wondering why I had never heard of anyone trying that.

Planned to ask down at the health food store. From their site, it seems everybody sells it *except* our usual grocery store !

[left-of-center2012]

14. SunButter ?

Never heard of it, but found this:

"SunButter is a brand of sunflower seed butter made from sunflower seeds and promoted for use by people with nut allergies.
It is an edible food paste similar to peanut butter, mainly used as a sandwich spread by people with peanut allergies and/or tree nut allergies.
SunButter is manufactured by SunGold Foods, Inc. in Fargo, North Dakota."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SunButter

P.S. When I was in Canada I saw miles of fields planted in Sunflowers, I guess for oil, etc.
It was a beautiful sight.

[unblock]

15. we saw some sunflower fields on our road trip to wyoming. i think in south dakota, maybe it was iowa

i agree sunflower fields are wonderful, especially as they all face the sun the same way.

nice break from all those corn fields....

[Blindingly apparent]

17. Recent and brutal attacks five peanut butter jars link to global warming

[Laffy Kat]

21. I should have known. nt

[SummerSnow]

18. Here's the line up...

[Laffy Kat]

22. Reminds me of the old joke:

Two peanuts were walking innocently through the park, one was assaulted.

[IcyPeas]

19. I blame Jimmy Carter

[LuckyCharms]

20. Peanut butter can be a dirty bastard.

I hope you heal up quickly.

[Laffy Kat]

23. So I'm learning.

I met a friend for dinner tonight and she looked at me and asked me about my upper lip. She said it looked like just one side needed to be "plucked." Great. Looks like I have half a mustache.

[LuckyCharms]

24. Remain positive. At least it's not a 3/4 beard.

[mercuryblues]

25. I was hit on my cheek bone

by a baseball hit by a 10 year old. Damn they can hit hard. The trick to covering it up is plenty of layers. Leave about 5 minutes in between each layer. coverup, foundation, coverup, powder. repeat.

[Laffy Kat]

27. You were lucky it wasn't further up or down.

Could have been a nasty concussion, although it sounds bad enough.

I don't even own any foundation, just erase sticks. I work all day Sundays and hopefully it will fade some more overnight. Otherwise, I'll just brace for a lot of double looks.

[mercuryblues]

34. here is a neat hack

go into a high end make up store like Sephora, Clinique, Ulta or Aveda and ask for some samples. Tell them what you have is not working to cover up your bruise and you would like to try other brands, They will most likely take pity on you and give you some.

If not I use bare minerals concealer, $21. It will cover up almost anything. head over to their case and grab a q-tip and use their display.

I always cringe when I hear a person was hit by a ball at MLB game. I know what it feels like to get hit by a ball hit by a little kid, I can't imagine one hit by a pro.

[Laffy Kat]

36. Great ideas, thanks.

It does seem to be fading but it's going to be a few more days.

[onethatcares]

30. that will hurt ya,

happened to me as a kid a million years ago. Caught the ball right on the nose in a line drive. I can still see the laces on the ball.

Broke my nose for the first time that did.

[Throck]

26. This thread is nuts.

[Laffy Kat]

28. And somewhat jarring, too. nt

[Throck]

31. ;)

[GeoWilliam750]

32. With knees like jelly...

[KY_EnviroGuy]

29. Laffy, just tell your friends you got Smuckered!

(Jif is made by J. M. Smucker Co.)

Seriously, hope you have a speedy recovery. Nothing like a good round on DU to lighten things up!

[lastlib]

35. "Smucker-punched"!

Sorry 'bout your injury! Hope you heal quickly and completely! (I'd kiss it and make it better if I was there! . )

[Rhiannon12866]

33. That sounds very painful - peanut butter weighs a ton.

I'm sorry that happened - hope you feel better soon...

[Laffy Kat]

37. Thanks, Rhiannon12866.

It really does feel much better today.

[Rhiannon12866]

38. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that!

Depending on the size of the jar, you could have ended up with a concussion, those things are heavy! And it also sounds like something that I'd do...

[Ohiya]

39. My wife likes Better'n Peanut Butter

which she gets at Trader Joe's.

It hardly ever attacks although a jar tried to break my toe once.

[Laffy Kat]

40. I'll look at it. Thanks.

I'm not even crazy about peanut butter, I just keep it for my boys.

[whistler162]

41. I hope you gut it

[Laffy Kat]

42. Thanks.

Just learned today that it totally split a canine tooth which cannot be saved. Ka-ching, ka-ching. Oral surgeon is going to pull it, seed with bone, and place an implant. Please be careful when handling peanut butter. LOL>

[zanana1]

43. Also, be careful when handling Yankee candles.

A Yankee candle once attacked me and broke my big toe. Ouch. It was in my hands, but it just jumped out and fell on my foot. Can't trust those candles.

[Laffy Kat]

45. Ouch.

We may need to start putting warning labels on all jars.

[LisaL]

44. That sounds awfully expensive.

[Laffy Kat]

46. It IS expensive.

But not as expensive as it could be. I get a good union discount, will still have to move some savings around, etc. Was not expecting this $$$ requirement.

[whistler162]

47. Ouch....

[whistler162]

48. Safety equipment

http://www.darkknightarmoury.com/p-46995-alberto-morion-steel-helmet.aspx

[Laffy Kat]

49. That's a nice one!

Think of the respect it would command.

[whistler162]

50. Only if you are holding a pike