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Pic Of The Moment: Michele Bachmann Announces She Will Not Seek Re-election In 2014 (Original Post) EarlG May 2013 OP
Very rough quote Botany May 2013 #1
"as far as I know." And that aint far with Michelle. Yavin4 May 2013 #13
Never mind ethics, is it legal? Thanks Earl. nt caledesi May 2013 #40
Ah, taking advantage of her ignorance. caseymoz May 2013 #41
Look for her Core of Conviction sequel, Criminal Conviction, hitting bookstores Fall 2014! tanyev May 2013 #2
About time they started prosecuting these Welfare Queens. Downwinder May 2013 #3
Nice pearls. Is Michelle really an autumn? That orange seems harsh with her skin tone. Buzz Clik May 2013 #4
Am I the only one humming 'Ding Dong the Witch is dead' LynneSin May 2013 #5
Seems to be a recurrent theme BrotherIvan May 2013 #6
You can sing it anytime libodem May 2013 #33
No, I'm singing the lament: caseymoz May 2013 #42
LOL Kalidurga May 2013 #69
Sorry, I don't buy it. She may run for Senator in 2014. DinahMoeHum May 2013 #7
I would PAY to see those debates. nolabear May 2013 #32
No one does that Wabbajack_ May 2013 #71
I think I smell........ Chipper Chat May 2013 #8
I am disappointed AnotherWyoDemocrat May 2013 #9
Waiting for her announcement about her new job with Faux Nooz... The Velveteen Ocelot May 2013 #10
Exactly, now comes the big payoff, perfectly legal and all that! Coyotl May 2013 #58
Looks like the Party EC May 2013 #11
why she is leaving.... Garion_55 May 2013 #12
She's pullin' a Palin! Myrina May 2013 #14
And your telling me there is no Liberal Media? busterbrown May 2013 #15
3737!!!!! tosh May 2013 #16
What is 3737? longship May 2013 #37
Search youtube for "37 clerks" joeglow3 May 2013 #47
Bandwidth limited here. Better description please. longship May 2013 #48
Here is the script joeglow3 May 2013 #49
Thanks. Almost too much information, isn't it? longship May 2013 #50
.... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #57
"Go on, take the money and run" B Stieg May 2013 #17
Some mornings when I get my coffee and turn on my computer The Velveteen Ocelot May 2013 #18
Alas... Scurrilous May 2013 #19
If you don't want to lose your phone privileges . . . another_liberal May 2013 #20
I can hear Bill Maher weeping! SCVDem May 2013 #21
Good Bye and Good Riddance Asshole. SoapBox May 2013 #22
Here's her song until about the year 2055... Hubert Flottz May 2013 #23
Still 18 long months left Iwillnevergiveup May 2013 #24
Yup... SoapBox May 2013 #27
found guilty of plenty of wrongdoing and leave before her term is up. Flashmann May 2013 #35
Goodbye, so long, farewell lark May 2013 #25
There's nothing like an ethics investigation to make you want to spend more time with your family. TeamPooka May 2013 #26
Stephanie Miller and Mooks having a ball this morning Cleita May 2013 #28
Was that hysterical or what? "Mem'ries...all alone in the moonlight..." nolabear May 2013 #31
Investigation + running away from the Gay permitted by law in MN = leaving office Sheepshank May 2013 #29
Ha! Divine intervention, perhaps.... MADem May 2013 #30
Of course it's good news to get rid of her, but I would have preferred that she be defeated for totodeinhere May 2013 #34
Oh if only we really were getting rid of her. Ganja Ninja May 2013 #36
Reaction from Andy Borowitz Iwillnevergiveup May 2013 #38
Bloomberg article characterizes it as "out-Foxing democrats" Turbineguy May 2013 #39
Love that Orange dress, Michele ! n/t durbin May 2013 #43
Already, Clairol and all the major Makeup Stocks are down sharply. nikto May 2013 #44
Bottom line..... VA_Jill May 2013 #45
Did you see Andy Borowitz's take on this? ROFL!!!!! calimary May 2013 #46
Sam Seder has 7 minuted of his show on this today. durbin May 2013 #51
Welcome to DU, durbin! calimary May 2013 #54
Is that a prison suit? muntrv May 2013 #52
Story says she's moving out of MN to escape Gawd's judgement ~ But it's SATIRE: freshwest May 2013 #53
If you didn't put the Daily Currant link, or "SATIRE" in the topic... tarheelsunc May 2013 #64
Yup. And as I said, I've met people who think that kinda thing. It sure could have been her! freshwest May 2013 #65
A.P. Leaker? warrprayer May 2013 #55
If bachmann's lips are moving she's lying. Cha May 2013 #56
I love the pearls. pacalo May 2013 #59
Maybe not, Michele, but the investigation into the AP leaks may have "impacted" stlsaxman May 2013 #60
Wow, seriously? tavalon May 2013 #61
Don't worry... DissidentVoice May 2013 #62
This isn't really a good thing for us. tarheelsunc May 2013 #63
IDK what to make of this CheapShotArtist May 2013 #66
Michelle, her husband, her 123 children. Reality Show Time! merrily May 2013 #67
This is FANTASTIC news! tofuandbeer May 2013 #68
Somewhere in Minnesota . . . OldRedneck May 2013 #70
This is bad news (yes, you read right, read on) Wabbajack_ May 2013 #72
Will Texas Gov. Rick Perry be next? Conium May 2013 #73

Botany

(70,519 posts)
1. Very rough quote
Wed May 29, 2013, 10:13 AM
May 2013

"We followed all of the rules and regulations as far as I know." M. Bachmann 5/28/13

caseymoz

(5,763 posts)
41. Ah, taking advantage of her ignorance.
Wed May 29, 2013, 02:54 PM
May 2013

Sly. The "I'm-as-dumb-as-a-hay-bale defense." Sorry, Michelle, if we let you go for that, we'd have to pardon every Republican crook who ever honed their ignorance with such care. That would give your entire party a Get-outta-jail-free-cause-my-brain-is-like-raisin card. It sends the wrong message. We don't want to give Republicans incentives for getting dumber.

BrotherIvan

(9,126 posts)
6. Seems to be a recurrent theme
Wed May 29, 2013, 10:22 AM
May 2013

I lean toward "Tramp the Dirt Down".

Why did this just brighten my day?

libodem

(19,288 posts)
33. You can sing it anytime
Wed May 29, 2013, 12:41 PM
May 2013

Sure have missed seeing you around. We had your stapler bronzed and we wipe the tear stains off, on a regular basis.

DinahMoeHum

(21,794 posts)
7. Sorry, I don't buy it. She may run for Senator in 2014.
Wed May 29, 2013, 10:33 AM
May 2013

She's Zombie Pig enough to try to unseat Al Franken.

Wabbajack_

(1,300 posts)
71. No one does that
Thu May 30, 2013, 10:17 AM
May 2013

If she was running for the Senate she'd be announcing that, not her retirement from the House.

She'd get killed anyway so why worry?

 

Coyotl

(15,262 posts)
58. Exactly, now comes the big payoff, perfectly legal and all that!
Wed May 29, 2013, 08:16 PM
May 2013

Be a shill for a few years, get a few million in return.

EC

(12,287 posts)
11. Looks like the Party
Wed May 29, 2013, 10:57 AM
May 2013

asked her to leave since she likely would have lost the seat. They want to put in someone who will win in the very gerrymandered district?

busterbrown

(8,515 posts)
15. And your telling me there is no Liberal Media?
Wed May 29, 2013, 11:07 AM
May 2013

This is a magnificent sole who has been persecuted by the press every since she pointed out to that
loud mouth that Congress is full of Commies.. And What about that Glorious husband of hers? How is he going to survive knowing that Michele will be around the house all day. What a drag............Queen!

 

joeglow3

(6,228 posts)
49. Here is the script
Wed May 29, 2013, 04:36 PM
May 2013

VERONICA
Bye
(to DANTE)
That was Snowball.

DANTE
Why do you call him that?

VERONICA
Sylvan made it up. It's a blow job
thing.

DANTE
What do you mean?

VERONICA
After he gets a blow job, he likes
to have the cum spit back into his
mouth while kissing. It's called
snowballing.

DANTE
He requested this?

VERONICA
He gets off on it.

24.


DANTE
Sylvan can be talked into anything.

VERONICA
Why do you say that?

DANTE
Like you said-she snowballed him.

VERONICA
Sylvan? No; I snowballed him.

DANTE
Yeah, right.

VERONICA
I'm serious...

A moment of silence as DANTE'S chuckles fade to comprehension.

DANTE
You sucked that guy's dick?

VERONICA
Yeah. How do you think I know he
liked...

DANTE
(panicky)
But...but you said you only had sex
with three guys! You never mentioned
him!

VERONICA
That's because I never had sex with
him!

DANTE
You sucked his dick!

VERONICA
We went out a few times. We didn't
have sex, but we fooled around.

DANTE
(massive panic attack)
Oh my God! Why did you tell me you
only slept with three guys?

VERONICA
Because I did only sleep with three
guys! That doesn't mean I didn't
just go with people.

25.


DANTE
Oh my God-I feel so nauseous...

VERONICA
I'm sorry, Dante. I thought you
understood.

DANTE
I did understand! I understand that
you slept with three different
guys, and that's all you said.

VERONICA
Please calm down.

DANTE
How many?

VERONICA
Dante...

DANTE
How many dicks have you sucked?!

VERONICA
Let it go...

DANTE
HOW MANY?

VERONICA
All right! Shut up a second and
I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't
freak like this when you told me
how many girls you fucked.

DANTE
This is different. This is important.
How many?!

She counts silently, using fingers as marks. DANTE waits on
a customer in the interim. VERONICA stops counting.

DANTE
Well...?

VERONICA
(half-mumbled)
Something like thirty-six.

DANTE
WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THIRTY-SIX?

26.


VERONICA
Lower your voice!

DANTE
What the hell is that anyway,
"something like thirty-six?" Does
that include me?

VERONICA
Um. Thirty-seven.

DANTE
I'M THIRTY-SEVEN?

VERONICA
(walking away)
I'm going to class.

DANTE
Thirty-seven?!
(to CUSTOMER)
My girlfriend sucked thirty-seven
dicks!

CUSTOMER
In a row?

The Velveteen Ocelot

(115,740 posts)
18. Some mornings when I get my coffee and turn on my computer
Wed May 29, 2013, 11:14 AM
May 2013

I discover there is actually some good news. This is one of those mornings. I'm sure the GOPers will come up with some other loon to replace her, but this is a good day for Minnesota. She was embarrassing the hell out of us.

I do regret, just a bit, that Jim Graves won't have the chance to kick her scrawny ass in the 2014 election - I was looking forward to that. But I suspect ol' Crazy Eyes knew she'd get her ass kicked this time.

Yay!

 

another_liberal

(8,821 posts)
20. If you don't want to lose your phone privileges . . .
Wed May 29, 2013, 11:45 AM
May 2013

"OK, number 3737, wrap it up and get back to cleaning those toilets, if you don't want to lose your phone privileges again."

Hubert Flottz

(37,726 posts)
23. Here's her song until about the year 2055...
Wed May 29, 2013, 11:49 AM
May 2013

**************** *************** **************** *************** *************

Iwillnevergiveup

(9,298 posts)
24. Still 18 long months left
Wed May 29, 2013, 11:50 AM
May 2013

before she's gone, and I can only hope the ethics investigation doesn't run out of steam during that time. Ideally, she'll be found guilty of plenty of wrongdoing and leave before her term is up.

SoapBox

(18,791 posts)
27. Yup...
Wed May 29, 2013, 12:05 PM
May 2013

Lots of potential damage that she and her Cult of Terrorist TeaPukers can help to inflict on America...let's keep those fingers crossed that she will lay-low because of the investigation.

lark

(23,117 posts)
25. Goodbye, so long, farewell
Wed May 29, 2013, 12:01 PM
May 2013

That's the song that keeps running thru my head over this excellent news.

Oh, she's definitely not an autumn, that color looks so bad on her. (snark)

 

Sheepshank

(12,504 posts)
29. Investigation + running away from the Gay permitted by law in MN = leaving office
Wed May 29, 2013, 12:11 PM
May 2013

she is moving out of Minnesota to a state when they will really really really hate her husband..

MADem

(135,425 posts)
30. Ha! Divine intervention, perhaps....
Wed May 29, 2013, 12:12 PM
May 2013

I wonder who's taking bets on how long that marriage will last once they actually start living together!!!

totodeinhere

(13,058 posts)
34. Of course it's good news to get rid of her, but I would have preferred that she be defeated for
Wed May 29, 2013, 12:44 PM
May 2013

reelection rather than this. This might actually be bad news for the Democrats' efforts to retake the House in 2014. She represents a conservative district and another Republican might be able to hold that seat.

Ganja Ninja

(15,953 posts)
36. Oh if only we really were getting rid of her.
Wed May 29, 2013, 12:52 PM
May 2013

Her crazy ass will be on the TV from now until hell freezes over.

Iwillnevergiveup

(9,298 posts)
38. Reaction from Andy Borowitz
Wed May 29, 2013, 01:41 PM
May 2013

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The average I.Q. of a member of the House of Representatives is expected to rise sharply in 2015, experts said today.

The experts, who indicated that they were “cautiously optimistic” about the development, said that the gains were most likely to be made in the Midwest.

The expected rise in I.Q. could mean that the average congressperson would have a greater grasp of basic concepts in math and science, including the law of evolution, as well as addition and subtraction.


The last time a branch of the federal government experienced such a significant increase in average I.Q., experts said, was the executive branch in 2009.


VA_Jill

(9,983 posts)
45. Bottom line.....
Wed May 29, 2013, 03:43 PM
May 2013

she knew she was going to lose, and lose BAD, in 2014. The only problem is, what batsh!t crazy GOTPer is going to run for her seat?

calimary

(81,323 posts)
54. Welcome to DU, durbin!
Wed May 29, 2013, 05:21 PM
May 2013

Glad you're here! That was pretty damn funny! Thanks for adding it in here!

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
53. Story says she's moving out of MN to escape Gawd's judgement ~ But it's SATIRE:
Wed May 29, 2013, 05:19 PM
May 2013
Michele Bachmann threatened to leave Minnesota today if the state goes ahead with its plans to legalize gay marriage.

May 13, 2013

In an interview with a local television station, the conservative firebrand said she believes God will destroy Minneapolis once the legislation is enacted, and wants to be far away when the reckoning happens...

"I have a friend from Eden Prairie who's already packed everything she owns into her car and is driving out to Montana as we speak. These are very scary times. I don't want my family to be the last ones out..."

"I don't know what it will be, Bruce," she said. "It could be an earthquake. It could be a volcano. It could be some sort of flesh eating virus. All I know is that God does not let homosexuality go unpunished, and Minneapolis is next in line for his wrath.

It breaks my heart to think that the Democrats are willing to play politics with the lives of so many Minnesotans. And I hate to leave so many of my constituents behind, but I urge them - please, please - follow my example and get your loved ones to safety before it's too late."


LOL! I've met religious RWNJs who think just like this. So you better watch out, Oregon:

http://dailycurrant.com/2013/05/13/bachmann-threatens-to-leave-minnesota-over-marriage-equality/

tarheelsunc

(2,117 posts)
64. If you didn't put the Daily Currant link, or "SATIRE" in the topic...
Wed May 29, 2013, 10:42 PM
May 2013

there's absolutely no way anyone could have known that wasn't a real article. It sounds just like something she would say.

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
65. Yup. And as I said, I've met people who think that kinda thing. It sure could have been her!
Wed May 29, 2013, 11:10 PM
May 2013

There's a profitable media industry feeding folks this stuff.

DissidentVoice

(813 posts)
62. Don't worry...
Wed May 29, 2013, 09:47 PM
May 2013

There will still be enough batshit crazies on the far right to provide plenty of headaches for us.

tarheelsunc

(2,117 posts)
63. This isn't really a good thing for us.
Wed May 29, 2013, 10:40 PM
May 2013

She'd probably lose if she ran for reelection due to everything that's around her now. But her district is fairly red and if they put another conservative in, he or she will have a much better chance of beating the Democratic candidate.

CheapShotArtist

(333 posts)
66. IDK what to make of this
Thu May 30, 2013, 12:18 AM
May 2013

because on the one hand, she won't be in Congress starting shit and wasting time anymore, but whichever 'Thug that runs against Jim Graves in 2014 will probably have an easier chance at winning.

tofuandbeer

(1,314 posts)
68. This is FANTASTIC news!
Thu May 30, 2013, 03:19 AM
May 2013

But I fear she will continue her crusade in another forum.
Sick person that she is.

Wabbajack_

(1,300 posts)
72. This is bad news (yes, you read right, read on)
Thu May 30, 2013, 10:18 AM
May 2013

She's weak and unpopular, she almost lost in most republican seat in the state.

Out chances of winning the seat which were decent just went way down.

Conium

(119 posts)
73. Will Texas Gov. Rick Perry be next?
Thu May 30, 2013, 10:38 AM
May 2013

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

Texas Gov. Rick Perry said he will announce in June whether he will seek re-election to a fourth as Governor of Texas in the 2014 election.
source: [link:http://ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/Rick_Perry|

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