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The 'Busy' Trap.
If you live in America in the 21st century youve probably had to listen to a lot of people tell you how busy they are. Its become the default response when you ask anyone how theyre doing: Busy! So busy. Crazy busy. It is, pretty obviously, a boast disguised as a complaint. And the stock response is a kind of congratulation: Thats a good problem to have, or Better than the opposite.
Notice it isnt generally people pulling back-to-back shifts in the I.C.U. or commuting by bus to three minimum-wage jobs who tell you how busy they are; what those people are is not busy but tired. Exhausted. Dead on their feet. Its almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations theyve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities theyve encouraged their kids to participate in. Theyre busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because theyre addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.
Almost everyone I know is busy. They feel anxious and guilty when they arent either working or doing something to promote their work. They schedule in time with friends the way students with 4.0 G.P.A.s make sure to sign up for community service because it looks good on their college applications. I recently wrote a friend to ask if he wanted to do something this week, and he answered that he didnt have a lot of time but if something was going on to let him know and maybe he could ditch work for a few hours. I wanted to clarify that my question had not been a preliminary heads-up to some future invitation; this was the invitation. But his busyness was like some vast churning noise through which he was shouting out at me, and I gave up trying to shout back over it.
Full oped (~1,500 words): http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap
Notice it isnt generally people pulling back-to-back shifts in the I.C.U. or commuting by bus to three minimum-wage jobs who tell you how busy they are; what those people are is not busy but tired. Exhausted. Dead on their feet. Its almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations theyve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities theyve encouraged their kids to participate in. Theyre busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because theyre addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.
Almost everyone I know is busy. They feel anxious and guilty when they arent either working or doing something to promote their work. They schedule in time with friends the way students with 4.0 G.P.A.s make sure to sign up for community service because it looks good on their college applications. I recently wrote a friend to ask if he wanted to do something this week, and he answered that he didnt have a lot of time but if something was going on to let him know and maybe he could ditch work for a few hours. I wanted to clarify that my question had not been a preliminary heads-up to some future invitation; this was the invitation. But his busyness was like some vast churning noise through which he was shouting out at me, and I gave up trying to shout back over it.
Full oped (~1,500 words): http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap
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The 'Busy' Trap. (Original Post)
salvorhardin
Jul 2012
OP
DCBob
(24,689 posts)1. So true...
We all seem to be caught up in it. In fact Im too busy to respond more.
catnhatnh
(8,976 posts)2. Truer shit is seldom writ....N/T
RobertEarl
(13,685 posts)3. Getting over the guilt is the hardest
Retirement is hard work!
salvorhardin
(9,995 posts)4. It's the same with disability
Learning that your value is intrinsic, and not in the work you do, is difficult.
RobertEarl
(13,685 posts)5. Yep
I was about the best at my job and now I can't do half of the work I used to do. Physics.
Now I just try to make peace while doing my real job of cloud watching.