People Who Feared Obama Would Take Their Guns Happy to Have Trump Take Their Health Care
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Americans who feared that Barack Obama would come for their guns are happy that Donald Trump is coming for their health care, a new report finds.
In interviews conducted across the country, people expressed satisfaction that, by taking away their ability to see a doctor rather than their ability to shoot people, the federal government “finally has its priorities straight.”
“I couldn’t get a night’s sleep, worrying about Obama taking away my guns,” Carol Foyler, a gun owner from Kentucky, said. “Now that we have a President who’s just taking away my family’s health care, I can breathe easier.”
Harland Dorrinson, a gun fancier from Wyoming, concurred. “In Europe, everyone has health care and no one has guns,” he said. “You couldn’t pay me to live there.” Noting that thousands of people die in hospitals every year, he added, “Health care has killed more people than guns have.”
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/people-who-feared-obama-would-take-their-guns-happy-to-have-trump-take-their-health-care
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Health care kills people, especially when it happens in a hospital. If you ever fall seriously ill, just stay put at home in reach of a loaded weapon and everything will work out fine. Just ask any coroner.
