A Challenger engineer blamed himself for 30 years. Then this 'miracle' happened.

[bananas]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2016/02/25/a-challenger-engineer-blamed-himself-for-the-tragedy-for-30-years-then-this-miracle-happened/?tid=hybrid_experimentrandom_1_na

A Challenger engineer blamed himself for 30 years. Then this ‘miracle’ happened.

By Colby Itkowitz February 25 

<snip>

Since that tragic day, Ebeling has blamed himself. He always wondered whether he could have done more. His daughter, Kathy Ebeling, said he had even entertained bringing his hunting rifle to work Jan. 28, 1986 to threaten NASA not to launch — that’s how certain he was that the shuttle was going to explode.

That day changed him, Kathy Ebeling, who was 35 then, said in an interview. He became despondent and withdrawn. He quit his job not long after, unable to face it — the MURDERER in graffiti on the overpass on his ride to work, the constant reminder of how NASA failed. He spent the rest of his working life on a bird refuge because there it was about “helping people and not destroying people,” she said.

He’s 89 and is dying now. He has bladder and prostate cancer; the family has brought in hospice. But thanks to hundreds of public radio listeners, he finally has some peace.

Ebeling spoke to NPR for the 30th anniversary of the Challenger explosion last month. Remarkably, he had spoken anonymously to the same reporter three weeks after the explosion, but now he was ready to speak publicly. He sadly recalled the day and described his three decades of guilt.

“I think that was one of the mistakes that God made,” Ebeling told NPR. “He shouldn’t have picked me for the job. But next time I talk to him, I’m gonna ask him, ‘Why me? You picked a loser.’ ”

But listeners didn’t hear a loser. And they sent hundreds of e-mails and letters to NPR and directly to Ebeling telling him so, NPR first reported Thursday.

His daughter, reached at their Utah home, said she’s been reading him the letters. Engineering teachers said they use him as an example of good ethical practice. Professionals wrote that because of his example they are more vigilant in their jobs.

But there was one person that made him finally start to believe he wasn’t to blame.

Allan McDonald, who was Ebeling’s boss, reached out after the NPR interview aired to tell him that he had done everything he could have done to warn them, including calling Kennedy Space Center to try and stop the launch.

<snip>

“It’s wonderful, it’s like a miracle,” Kathy Ebeling said. “It’s starting to change his mind that he doesn’t feel so guilty, so that’s a miracle. Thirty years of guilt is long enough.”

<snip>

[haikugal]

1. Poor guy....

[SoLeftIAmRight]

2. that launch failed because - raygun

...

[eppur_se_muova]

7. Yes, his SOTU speech was supposed to occur while the 'Teacher in Space' was in orbit ...

NASA was under pressure not to spoil a perfect Hollywood moment.

[catrose]

11. I didn't know that

But I thought at the time that it smacked of politics.

[Xipe Totec]

3. I remember that day

I was in a meeting downtown in the old Tenneco building. A buddy of mine, who knew I had worked on Shuttle, came in and told me that the Challenger was destroyed. I felt as if somebody had punched me. I had left the program more than two years before then, but my first thought was to wonder if I had done something wrong. Was it my fault? Did I screw up? It didn't matter that I worked on reentry and the failure occurred during ascent. I still felt connected. I still felt as if, somehow, I was responsible.

On the way home, traveling south on interstate 45, towards League City, all I could see was American flags at half mast on both sides of the freeway. Mile upon mile of flags at half mast, from the fanciest business complexes to the grubbiest garages, all of Houston was in mourning.

As I write this, I look up above my monitor and see a poster hanging on the wall. It is the Challenger on it's maiden flight; the external tank painted white like a bride's gown. On the bottom right hand corner a simple caption reads, congratulations, America.

Sure, I remember that day...

as if it was yesterday.

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/Xipe%20Totec/38

[virtualobserver]

4. Me too, I was in downtown Houston in the Exxon building

Some one rushed in to the meeting that I was in and said, "the Shuttle blew up"

Everyone just froze....it was unthinkable.....we had begun to think of those flights as almost routine.
My father worked for a NASA contractor at JSC. I took the same route that day home to League City.

It was strange to hear you describe the essential layout of my day.

[JimDandy]

6. I watched it blow up in real time on its ascent.

Didn't realize at first what was happening, because I thought it was a part of the rocket that was supposed to fall off. Within a few seconds it was clear from the conversation, though, that a disaster was occurring. I was in college for an elementary teaching degree at the time and the "teacher in space" caught my fancy, so I was watching.

Morton Thiokol's O-ring-will never forget.

Poor guy.

[LiberalElite]

5. Another "where were you when" day - I was

at work and a normally very cheery person entered my department. I said 'why so glum, chum?" She said the Challenger exploded...

[SoapBox]

8. I too was watching...

Was off from work that day...and living in Phoenix at the time.

[SoLeftIAmRight]

9. I was in the Office of Archaeological research at Moundville sorting lithics and ceramics.

The future and the past mingled.

[Live and Learn]

10. Awful that he has felt that guilt for all these years.

How many of us have tried to warn management of impending disaster (not quite on that scale, of course) and been ignored? I think it is probably pretty common. The worst part is that after the worst happens they usually don't admit you warned them.

Would have been nice it he could have heard those words sooner but at least he got to hear them.