I Can't Stop Reading One-Star Yelp Reviews of National Parks

[mahatmakanejeeves]

Hat tip, Arlnow.com: Unhappy Park Visitors Take Frustrations Out on Yelp

I Can't Stop Reading One-Star Yelp Reviews of National Parks

"I really wanted to enjoy this canyon..."
—By Tim Murphy | Tue Aug. 25, 2015 6:00 AM EDT

The National Park Service turns 99 years old on Tuesday. To celebrate, the Department of the Interior has waived admission fees for all NPS sites for the day. That's a pretty sweet deal. You should stop reading this right now, call in sick, and enjoy the great outdoors. National parks are great.

But not everyone agrees. Yelp is filled with one- and two-star reviews of America's most pristine and majestic natural wonders. And honestly, they're riveting. What makes a national park a one-star destination varies from one reviewer to the next. Maybe the tacos at the visitor center aren't up to snuff. Maybe it was cloudy. Maybe the park was too cowardly to cut down some trees for spillover parking lots. Maybe it was President Barack Obama's fault.

Whatever the case, you can thank these people for leaving the campgrounds a little bit less crowded for the rest of us:
{snip}

Some are obvious attempts at satire, like the one about Yellowstone NP that complains that there's no Starbucks nearby. Others, I think they are real:

Reviews of Yellowstone NP, from lowest to highest

kahlil g.
Bethesda, MD
0 friends
7 reviews

1.0 star rating 5/9/2013

I know what I am writing is commiting a scarilidge, but I hated yellowstone. I took my kids and I want to tell you that I am not some nature hating guy. I take my kids hiking. I rock climb. The problem with the place is that it is dull. Yellowstone is on a caldera. A caldera is a volcano that blew up and left a crater. The dirt from this is of poor quality. The only tree that grows is this ugly thing called a lone pine. No flowers to speak of grow here. The place is huge and traffic and parking is super painful. The last thing is once you see water come out of the ground once your good. But its all the same. The grand canyon of yellowstone is ok but when we were there wildfires from California left this thick layer of smoke and you could barely see the grand canyon of yellowstone. I think that people dont want to say they don't like the place. When we were there you would have 50 cars pulled over so people could take turns looking at a bear through a large spotting scope. The thing was 1000 yards away. If you are in the area for some reason it is worth dropping by. Don't spend a lot of money just to go to yellowstone. Its not worth it.

Sorry

And there's this thread today too:

Comment Card Scolds National Park For Failing To Train Bears Better

[marym625]

1. "The grand canyon of Yellowstone is ok.."

OMFD! It's absolutely breathtaking! Artists Point is so beautiful there just are no words to describe it.

These people remind me of an uncle who said, when I was on my always high description of the Grand Tetons, "it's just a bunch of dirt." Like him, those people should just stay home.

[packman]

2. Or the Grand Canyon - just a ditch with a river at the bottom

Regardless, it took my breath away when I was there. Should be on everyone's bucket list.

[lunasun]

3. Mark Twain had a line in Innocents Abroad I think, where someone proclaims that "some

things just look better in a book "
Although it is fiction about international travel , it came to mind.

All these people could be characters on his trip

[NV Whino]

4. I think some of these reviews are accurate in the information, but bad in presentation.

These people obviously didn't do any research before heading to these parks. I mean, uh, yeah, the desert is hot in the summer. You don't like heat, don't go to desert parks in the summer. And yes, Death Valley is not only hot but desolate. You don't like stark, desolation, don't go. I've been to Badlands, by the way, and it is awesome. No color? Maybe the guy was color blind.

I think the complaint about the park personnel at Pinnacles is useful. Even the comments about (sit-down restaurant) food is useful. The information about the bees in Joshua Tree is important. Comments about kid friendly, or unfriendly, places are good.

It's too bad that some of this useful information was imparted in the form of complaints and a one star review.

On a personal note, and regarding research, I have wanted to go to The Pinnacles. On a trip back from the central coast I thought I would stop. A little research showed me that I couldn't get there at the right time, nor stay long enough, for good lighting for photos, and in order to even get to good vantage points, I would have to do some hiking. I simply didn't have the time so I gave it a pass.

[shenmue]

5. I like the parks

I have visited the National Forest in Ocala, Florida. It is beautiful.



I haven't visited many other parts of the country, because of my fear of planes, but I hope someday to go see most of the parks.

[RoccoR5955]

6. What the heck is

"scarilidge?" Something that happens after your skin heals or something?

[Cirque du So-What]

8. I'm guessing

that it's a botched attempt at spelling 'sacrilege.' With that guy, who knows?

[mahatmakanejeeves]

10. I just got my first tablet, and

my attempts at typing on its keyboard make this look pretty close to the intended word. I dismiss a lot of odd-looking stuff as coming from user-hostile keyboards and autocorrecting text programs.

[CrispyQ]

7. A few months ago the National Parks hosted an appreciation luncheon

for members of Congress who had voted in favor of supporting the Parks. I can't recall the exact number, but it was just over 250 members, 28 of whom were republicans, the rest were democrats.

I know some republican hikers & I want to ask them "How can you vote repub if you value the Parks?"

[hunter]

9. Yoiks. If you want to be entertained by big business, just go to Las Vegas, Disneyland...

... or stay home and watch television.

On the other hand, I'm a desert rat and HUGE fan of geology. I love the desert, hot or cold. My wife and kids appreciate the science, but our desert trips were not among their favorites.

[dixiegrrrrl]

11. The trick is.....go in the off season!

I have seen most of the parks in the Western states, even lived in a couple.
Once the tourists leave when school starts, it is much easier to to appreciate their beauty.

What I could not stand was how people would screech and yell at each other and make the most inane comments if they saw an animal.
I swear, they act as if they are watching tv.

Luckily, a friend and I were able to do a 2 week trip thru 8 states in late Sept. and had the parks, and roads pretty much to ourselves.
Back in 1974, when a lot of things were much much different.

[left-of-center2012]

12. Friends of mine backpacked it for a summer

Their slides of the trip were amazing.
OK - it was 'back in the day' but I doubt it changed much.